Even Working Moms on TV Don't Have it All

Being a sensitive person by nature, I always am tearing up or balling over things on TV. But if you are a fan of the show Homeland and you’re a working mom like me, there’s no way you didn’t get a bit choked up over the latest episode - the theme being you can’t be a career woman and a mom at the same time. Especially when you’re the super secretive, terrorism fighting, saving lives, bomb stopping, breaking and entering, seductress, bipolar CIA agent Carrie Mathison.

Every. Single. Day. I question my life choices. Want to own a home? Need a job. Want to pay for those expensive gymnastics team practices? Need that job to pay well. Need to replace the furnace of said home? Need a job plus a bonus or two for all the extras. Want to have some type of fun with your family? Need a job with vacation time!

Meanwhile I dream of the days when we can “downsize” and live on less when at the same time my husband begs me to drop everything, sell it all, and move. Can you say Island living? If island living has a walk in closet, a maid, and the same conveniences and opportunities for my kids, sign me up!

I have a career that I worked hard for because I had to. Not because I wanted to. However, over the years the want and the need have gone hand in hand. Especially on days when my toddler is driving me batshit crazy and I need a break to talk with grownups. I’m also lucky that I get to work from home, full time, in my mom pants. I can show up at my daughter’s school for all the special events. I can get up early or stay up late to put in hours. All the while my kids stand in my home office just hovering and waiting for attention. You want to be a mom on top of that job - good luck with that!

I don’t care how many articles I read about juggling the two or having it all - you can’t. It’s impossible. You’re always neglecting something; be it the kids, the husband, your work (your sanity!). I once had a mom say to me she doesn’t know how she’s so busy all the time as a stay at home mom. She also went on to say she doesn’t know how I do it all plus a job. I have to say that I’m one of the lucky ones who has a partner that definitely pulls his weight in the household chores category. But everything else a mom and an employee has to handle, I do on my own.

Then I watch this television show where Carrie the magnificent CIA agent is literally saving democracy and having her daughter taken away at the same time. You can’t fight the bad guys and be home in time for school pickup now, can you?! Now I’m not denying that this Carrie chick isn’t a bit nutso because the fact is she is bipolar on the show. Her character is also incredibly talented, intelligent, and super badass. Yet there she is watching her daughter being taken away from her while she jets off to an undisclosed location to, again, save her country for the 18th time at least during the show.

And yes it’s a tv show - I get it. Fiction! But there is no denying that there are some brave women serving our country be it in the military or as a federal agent. Some are most definitely moms as well. Maybe even at some point they had to leave their child for their job and for our country. It really sucks that a working mom has to put work before family.

So as the show rolled to credits, I sat there on the couch and sobbed for Carrie Mathison of Homeland and for all the other women in our world who have such tough decisions every day about how they can be a mom and be badass employees at the same time. I have to decide how much screen time my kids are going to get on snow days when I’m on back to back conference calls all day. I’m not deciding who’s going to be an interim mother while I’m out fighting crime. I don’t have it all that bad compared to the Carrie Mathison’s of the world.

I just find this whole idea that women can have it is all a crock of bullshit with a cherry on top. I have a beautiful, healthy family who I work hard to protect, grow, and take care of. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I know the hardworking men in my life don’t think twice about “having it all” because even if they don’t, they do. There is no stigma around working dads. I’m a working mom who is not getting enough sleep, enough time with her kids, enough time for work, and definitely not enough time with her husband.

I’m a working mom struggling to get it all done, every day. I’m a working mom looking for the light at the end of the tunnel; for a time when I can sleep again. I’m a working mom, just like Carrie Mathison, fighting to survive my life.

 I feel ya, Carrie. I do.

A Working Mom Monday

My darling one year old son, Brighton, went to his first day of daycare or school as I like to call it today. It was just a three hour trial to make sure he did okay. The fact that when I opened the door and he just went running in without looking back made it perfectly clear to me that he was fine.

For those three hours I cried. I asked all the questions...

Why do I have to work?

Why does he have to be so difficult at home now that I can't manage him and work at the same time anymore?

Why do I need to pay someone else to watch him two days a week?

Do I need to send him to a center? Can't I just pay someone to come to me so he's still here in my house?

Why can't I afford a full time nanny at home?

I picked him up and he was happy to see me. When we got home, I tried to put him right in his crib to continue napping but that failed. He let me know that he would purposely bang his face on the crib until he bled rather than go back to sleep.

I then had two 1-hour long calls in which to keep him entertained and quiet. The first meeting he successfully threw almost every toy he owned down the stairs. Then he got unmanageable and I had to put him back in the crib to finally get that nap, but not until after he cried for a good 15 minutes and I cried while on mute on my conference call.

He woke up during my other call, crying. I tried to give him milk, a snack, let him play - all the while during my call. I grabbed a bag of cookies and gave him one and that made him quiet. That one cookie plus five more to end my call on a quiet note. During which Jared texted me to see if he was any better. To which I told him that I had just gave him a shit ton of cookies to keep him quiet and how I'm a terrible mother. To which he replied no, you do what you have to do.

Then after picking up Lyla from school, he threw his blankie in the toilet, that was full of pee.

I looked around my house and saw the hurricane aka Brighton that hit it. I could barely walk up the toy ridden stairs. And it's only 4pm.

Three more hours till my working husband comes home.

Still have to get through gymnastics, dinner while at gymnastics, bath and bed.

Yes, it is time for daycare is what is going through my mind. I need to get work done and he needs to hang out with some little people.

Meanwhile, my tsunami of toys, bloody sheet, and pee soaked blankie will get cleaned in due time.

On a positive note, I'm amazed at how I can handle all this shit and still work. I may have been listening to a load of crap from the babe and intermittently crying but I got work done, I paid attention on all my calls, and I made progress on stuff. Honestly, if they were to give moms Oscars (which they should), I would have been awarded one if not at least nominated.

Some day I will look back on this and wonder how the hell I survived. I will wonder how I did all that I did. I will only know that I loved my children so crazy much that I did whatever it took to keep them healthy, entertained, enriched, and alive. I will also know that the mere hug, smile, or happy face is all it takes to keep me going.

I Just Lost My Shit...

...and it's only Monday.

I shouldn't be surprised when my one year old climbs out of the play yard during my 20 minute conference call.

I can't rely on a five year old to babysit.

I can't totally lose it when the five year old doesn't watch the one year old.

I shouldn't freak out when the one year old is on the bed jumping while simultaneously throwing diapers all over the floor.

I should try to stay calm while on the phone with a client and my five year old is yelling at the top the of the stairs, "I can't control him!"

I definitely should not try to explain to a five year old why mommy has to work or we can't own this home or pay for things if mommy doesn't work.

I most definitely shouldn't be mad at her when she's not listening to me about watching her brother because again, she's five.

It's time for my son to go to daycare, only part time for now so he can hang with other little people. And so I can get work done and he's safe. It's time and it's a good thing. But then why am I crying?

I just lost my shit. Frustrated, angry, fuming, happy, guilty, and then sad in the matter of 5 minutes. At least I'm not the only working mom out there.

Almost Upon the Arrival of 3 But Feeling it Already

My daughter will turn 3 next month. I can't believe how fast time has flown. She is still the light of my life and I love her more than ever. In fact it's impossible to explain just how much I'm in love with my daughter.

I was warned that the threes are worse than the twos. Nah, I said. I'm sure my little angel will be just that.

WRONG.

She is not even 3 yet and I'm losing my mind. In the past week, my darling child has:

1. Regressed 100% on potty training. Let's just say she is peeing and pooping her pants like it's normal. Best part, she laughs! The last couple days I've been working on it and it's slowly improving but wow, very annoying!
2. Will not listen. At all. It is impossible to get her attention and the only thing that works it bribing her.
3. Started touching everything everywhere. None of which she has ever touched before. And now that she is taller, she helps herself to my pens, candy she finds, my money, etc. 
4. Earned the most ridiculous bargaining skills. She tells me she needs two more minutes to play. Or if she eats two more bites she can have chips. This is all my fault for sure!
5. Started screaming NO in my face and crossing her arms. If it wasn't adorable, it'd royally piss me off!
6. Sticking food up her nose. Peas, corn, green beans, jelly beans, etc. I finally told her yesterday that if she sticks food up her nose, I'll have to take her to the doctor and then he'd have to give her a shot up her nose to get it out. I know it's evil but making her scared of a shot in her nose makes her stop putting food up there. I really don't want to be that parent in the ER with a kid who stuck something in their nose, okay?

Needless to say, our parenting efforts are being tested, our livelihood has been compromised and yes my child is about to turn 3. GOD help me to survive the entire year! Tips anyone? :)

Sewing for Lyla

Lyla has a big girl bed so it was time for some big girl linens.  My sister found this whale fabric at the store and I told her to grab it for me. Then I found this cute polka dot one too.  So I made my baby taggy blanket a bit larger for her new bedspread.  It was very easy to do.  Then I made a pillow case cover and a taggy throw pillow case too.  It came together very nicely and was a quick, easy project. I'm so happy with the results and so is Lyla!

Quoting Books

Me and Lyla, we are readers.

We love love love books.  We read together every day and Lyla has been "reading" since she was really little.  Now that she is a really good communicator, she reads to herself.  She looks at her books and talks about what she sees.  She also knows a number of books by heart and reads them to herself.  It's amazing, really.

Every now and again, I hear my little girl quoting books which melts my heart.

Every night, I tell her this and now she says it (from Llama llama red pajama):
Little llama don't you know
Mama llama loves you so
Mama llama's always near
Even if she's not right here

Earlier today, from Purplicious:
Pink is for everyone!
I was painting a picture in art class...

And (from Panda Bear Panda Bear, what do you see?):
Dreaming child, dreaming child, what do you see?

And (from Guess how much I love you):
I love you to the moon and back!

So stinking cute!

Puzzles or Princess?

I asked Lyla to clean up her puzzles.  All 10 she just had to bring to Gramma's house over the weekend and so all the pieces were in a bag. I laid them out for her and said she could have a sticker after she's done doing all the puzzles.

Five minutes later, she appears with her princess shoes on brushing her hair.

I'm torn.

She is either:

A:  A true girly girl (God help me...)

or

B:  Unable to focus or multitask on one project like her father (I think this would be worse...)

or

C:  She's just 2 and feels princess shoes and a brush are a priority.

Whatever it is, it's too cute for me to be upset!

I'm on the phone!

Whenever I'm working, and the phone rings, I tell Lyla to be quiet because I'm on the phone.  She then proceeds to whisper the entire phone call, "I be quiet, shh!"

Well just now, she took her play cell phone and came over to me.  She says, all serious, "I'm on the phone, shh".  Then walks away and says, "Hi, This is Jessie Ford.  How are you, nice to meet you.

I just love this kid...

Luckily I was fast enough to get it on film!

I Find Myself Working...

It's Saturday night, 9PM and I find myself working.

It's Sunday afternoon, 1PM and I find myself working.

It's Friday morning at 6AM and I find myself working.

It's Tuesday night at 11PM and I find myself working.

Life is passing by me, my daughter is growing up and I find myself working...

Currently Loving

20 reasons I'm currently SO in love with my daughter (but she's so cute, do I really need a reason?!)

1. If I accidentally scratch her or pull her hair, whatever, she says "I'm sorry!".  So don't hurt my child or she'll apologize for you...
2. She loves to hold your hand and pull you where she wants to go. "Mommy come sit here next to me?", "Wanna come upstairs to my room?", "Let's go this way."
3. Every night she says her prayer all by herself and most of the time it includes the most random people who she has just seen.  But she never forgets her new kitty, Olly.
4. I love how she shakes her pointer finger and repeats all her rules to people.  "No jumping on the bed!", "Get off the big girl bed, you go in the crib!", "No picking up Olly!", "No jumping on the stairs, you get a big boo boo", "We do nice", "We color on the paper!  No crayons on the floor."
5. I love how she repeats the things I say a long time after I say them only one time.  She's got quite the memory. "I look beautiful, not pretty, beautiful!"
6. She loves to say these phrases just for fun but never means them.  "I'm tired." "I'm hungry." "I'm stinky."
7. She has this new cranky, unfriendly face she always gives to strangers which is not a bad thing but I really despise the look.  I tell her she has to be friendly and smile.  So when I see the look I give my own disapproving look and she says, "We be friendly, cheese!" and smiles.
8. Every morning she asks for cookies for breakfast.
9. She now has to get dressed "all by myself", go potty "all by myself", clean up "all by myself", read a book "all by myself".
10. I love how after every thing we do that is fun she will say, "again".
11. I love that she adores horseys and we must stop and see them on our road every day to say hi.
12. That she asks to watch gymnastics on TV every day.
13. She likes to play the game memory and every match she makes her eyes look like it's Christmas morning.
14. Every song on the radio she says, "I like this song."  But she won't let me sing or dance with her.  She says, "I wanna do it!"
15. I love that we can watch movies like Mary Poppins together and spend weeks afterwards still talking about it and singing the songs.
16. I love that every morning I give her a run down of our day and then she repeats it for me... "and then we're going to go to school, and then we're going to come home, and then we're going to have dinner, and then we're going to have a bath..."
17. I love when she gets all spunky and acts like a maniac - she gets too excited!
18. I love how any thing that resembles the size of a phone, she puts it to her ear and says hello.  My tic tac container, the puzzle box, etc.
19. I love that if we're having a fit, I take Lyla aside and tell her we're going to talk.  She sits on my lap, calms down and we look face to face and sort it out.  She listens while I talk and she gets it.  Then we nose kiss and all is better.  
20. I love that after she goes potty and we're with other people she leaves the bathroom with a big grin boasting, "I did peepee on the potty!"

I love so many things about my little girl.  She's a little lady nowadays and it's amazing watching her grow.

Memorable Mommy Moments

I was putting Lyla to bed the other night, in her big girl bed.  She wanted to sit on my lap and cuddle a few minutes before she went to sleep.  I obliged of course because who doesn't love cuddling.  During the cuddle session, she rubbed up against my leg and sat up to put her hand up my leg again.  She said, "Mommy, what's this?". She was fascinated with my prickly leg hair.  I tried to explain to her that I was lazy and didn't shave my legs that day.  I told her my legs have prickly hair.  She thought it was hilarious and wouldn't go to bed without rubbing them for a bit more.

As my daughter was sitting there rubbing my legs, I had a flashback that was clear as day.

I was laying down next to my mother as a young child and I felt her prickly legs.  I rubbed them and said, "Mommy why are you legs like cucumbers?"  Or something to that affect.  I laid there and kept rubbing her legs.

It brought tears to my eyes sitting with Lyla and having the same cute moment with my daughter that I had had with my mother all those years ago.

A memorable moment I don't ever want to forget.

Reasons why working right now sucks...

1. You have suction marks on your body from your child not wanting to be without you.
2. You have a huge proposal due asap that you've not finished yet and you are blogging instead.
3. You know when you get home and get a few cuddle hours in, you have pack and take off for an overnight trip without your child.
4. It's a nice sunny day and you'd much rather be at the park pushing your girl on the swings.
5. You know you will have to wake up again tomorrow and start working all over again.

Working Mom Mondays - No Kissing Boys!

I had to tell my daughter today, no kissing boys.  Not kidding.

I picked her up from school and she ran over to give me a hug.  Then she said "Bye Jayden" and hugged him then proceeded to kiss him on the pacifier. Yes, Jayden had a binky in his mouth and she kissed it.  It was so cute.

When we got home and she was in the tub, I was joking around with her.  I asked her what she did at school today.  She looked at me, smiled, and said, "Kiss Jayden".  It was so cute! I told her, no kissing boys!  And she said, hugs?  I said, yes hugs are okay.  So the rest of her bath time was "Hugs to Jayden".  

She's not even 2 yet and she's already kissing boys.  I'm in for trouble!

Working Mom Mondays - Missing My Kid

What did I tell you... "by Monday night I'll be sobbing."  I've reached my breaking point.  I miss my kid.  So much so that I feel bad for myself and have bought a gigantic choc/pb cookie I'm currently whimpering over.  It tastes delicious but it's not making me miss Lyla any less.  And to think I have two more full days before I can see her!  Ouch, my heart aches.

I've stopped talking about her because my eyes are tearing up and talking to my coworker who has been traveling for more than 2 solid weeks and has not seen his girls makes me lucky I'm not all over the place too often.  

I have not ever been able to really express what it is to be a mother.  It's an indescribable feeling.  Lyla was conceived in me.  She grew inside of me through a literal connection.  She came out of me and though that connection eventually was broken, literally, the connection that I had to her never went away.  Just because she is no longer attached to me, she is still part of me in every other sense of that word.  I will never be a whole person again because part of me is her.  And when we are not together, like now, I feel incomplete. With her I am whole. Without her I have a hole.   

Being away is making me very emotional and this damn cookie is not working; in fact it has made it worse (cause now my belly aches along with my heart).

Lyla is fine.  She has her dad and she probably won't know she missed me until I get home.  Because when I get home, she will be clinging to me for dear life for at least a day and a half if not more.  She will realize that she has her mommy back and she will feel whole again too.

As I sit her in my hotel room finally in solitude after a long day of talking and talking and talking, I find myself longing to be at home cleaning up the bath tub, making coffee for the morning, listening to the quiet, rhythmic breathing of my girl in the monitor, and sitting on the couch with the hubby arguing over what to watch on TV.  I have this every night of my life and just being away from it for 5 days is really sinking in.  I am such a wuss to be honest.

In any event, I am here to work and will be home to my family soon.  I could never be a traveling businesswoman.  My family is too important to me.  And though I love my job (most of the time), it does not rank number one in my life.  Some days I just wish I could be independently wealthy so I could be home with my child all the time.  Some day...

Working Mom Mondays - Smarty Pants

My daughter is so smart.  It's uncanny!  Sometimes I worry she is too smart!  Last week we were in the car eating ice cream - pre-diet and she looked around and said:  Gramma eating, Grampa eating, mommy eating, and Lyla eating.  It was so cute.  Today Jared went in the office and she looked at me all seriously and said:  Where did daddy go?  She was panic-stricken that he had left again.  She started picking her nose (lovely) and I told her not to do that.  She said no nose?  Then she said, Tissue?  I told her, yes to get a tissue.  She started to climb the stairs.  I told her, no silly, go to the bathroom, open the door, turn on the light and get a tissue.  She went to the bathroom, opened the door, turned on the light and I helped her reach a tissue.  She is so smart.

The other day, I thought my scale in the bathroom was broken.  Me and Lyla weighed ourselves but I really thought something was wrong.  So we headed to the guest bathroom to weigh ourselves again.  Then yesterday, she, on her own, weighed herself and then proceeded by herself to the guest bathroom and started pulling out the scale.  I was laughing hysterically. It was so adorable, yet innocent.  She was not happy with her weight the first time!

I may talk a lot about my kid and how she's better than every other kid but all parents do this.  Right now I have a obsessive reader, singer, dancer, and musician.  She is just incredible and so entertaining to watch.  I love her to pieces and I can't wait to teach her more!

For the record, I have taught her: cool man, dude, awesome, oopsy daisy (one of our favs), and of course go Yankees.

Working Mom Mondays - Getting my A$$ in gear

Ugh, I suck lately.  My blog, my health, my writing, my everything sucks lately.  I'm working on a new project - project me.  So it may be a bit before I can post about it or even share the plans.  But if you are totally bored with my blog, I don't blame you.  I promise it will get better as I get my ass in gear.  Let's just say I started off 2012 not the best way but I plan to make it better.  Just takes some time.  So while I get my ass in gear, feel free to catch up on my old posts about happy times and happy garden photos to get you out of the winter fog!

Like here and here.

Working Mom Mondays - Traveling checklist

Today I am leaving for LA.  No, that is Los Angeles, correct.  I did not mistype that.  I'm flying, today (in like 3 hours) across the entire country for a 2 day, all day meeting (fun fun fun!) and a red eye flight back.  There are a few problems with this:
a.  I'm not an LA kind of girl - meaning I have not one article of clothing or accessory fit for that city.
b.  I can't stand being away from my child for 3 days and nights.
c.  I've had to load up on the BS in order to psyche myself up for this big presentation I have to give.

I'm SO nervous and am having a hard time with this entire trip, and I haven't even left yet.  I just said goodbye to Lyla and tried really hard to not cry in front of everyone at her school when I dropped her off.

But last night I had to get myself ready to be a professional "big girl" and check everything off my list...

1. Scratch off glitter nail polish - almost check (still have a few fingers left to go)
2. Replace tye-dye lap top bag with sleek black bag - check
3. Pack a suitcase with not anything that I currently own - check (yay for new clothes!)
4. Find the makeup bag I never use to pack - check
5. Practice walking in heels around my house - check
6. Pack my GPS for my rental car - CRAP!  I have to go back to the house now...(which is good I suppose since I forgot my toothbrush too...)

(Packing up my laptop, leaving the Starbucks parking lot where I'm currently working in my car because I don't want to smell like coffee, while I wait for it to be time to leave for the airport.  Driving an extra 40 minutes is not too bad, right?...)

Good thing I made a list BEFORE I left the house, right?  

Ugh.

Working Mom Mondays - When your luck runs out

Ever since we became parents, Jared and I have been lucky. We both have had flexible jobs allowing us a lot more time than most parents with our child. Imagine waking up each morning and instead of rushing around getting ready for work, we got to lounge around in our jammies and cuddle with our daughter a little longer. We got to watch her reach all her milestones while we worked from home.

It was the perfect situation.  Jared got two days at home and I was home 4 days a week. Granted we were both working during this time but it was working from a laptop on the floor of our daughter's room. She was rolling around or reading books and we were responding to emails and getting things done. It was quite the life until Lyla got too big.  She started requiring more attention and wanted to play. We knew she was growing up and needed interaction with other kids her age; meanwhile my workload picked up as did the amount of conference calls I had. Conference calls with screaming toddlers = mass havoc. So last fall we decided to start school. At first the one day a week went great. Lyla loved going there and proudly waved goodbye to me after I dropped her off. She was the little social butterfly of the joint and her eyes lit up upon arrival.

Soon afterwards, we decided she needed two days a week and has been going two days a week since December. It was just harder and harder for me to get work done and as much as I felt guilty about it, it was necessary and better for her in the long run. We got down to a schedule that was perfect: 

Mondays - Lyla is at school

Tuesdays - Lyla is home with daddy

Wednesdays - Lyla is at school

Thursdays - Lyla is home with mommy and daddy

Fridays - Lyla is at home with mommy

We both got one quality day with Lyla, she got her groove on at school, and meanwhile we were both able to get work done.

Fast-forward to last week when Jared's work decided he no longer has the privilege to work from home due to a new company-wide policy. I promise to not say anything bad about this but my sourness is there, my anxiety and anger is here, and the steam blowing out of my nose and ears is real.  And here is where I'll go all postal on you:  EVERYTHING IS RUINED NOW! Sob! Sigh! Sob!

I can't stay home with Lyla three days a week because my work is so demanding currently and it's not fair to Lyla. So one more day to school she goes.  Three days a week my poor child will be away from me. 

I have been lucky! I have had more time with my daughter than most working moms. But I want it all and I can't have it. Our luck has run out and I'm so sad about it. I did not have a child so that someone else could raise her. I had a child so I could be there for all her milestones, to teach her her ABCs, and be there when she needed me. I cannot be a stay at home mom despite my desire to be so this will just have to be the way it is. And when I'm stressed out and crying each day I'm home with her because I'm not getting any work done, I will be forced to be grateful I have her the two days I do.

Sometimes parenthood is just cruel and sometimes I'm just very selfish. I want my daughter close to me while I'm working hard to save for her college fund. This new scenario at our home just goes to prove you can't have it all and to be grateful for what you have. Things they are a changing for us but we will get through it and Lyla will not be scarred for life.  Me on the other hand, I'm not so sure...

(For the record, I do realize this is a very minor dealio in the scheme of things. Most people have actual problems in this world and my life is not so bad. Sometimes it just feels good to complain and get it out.  I do realize I'm grateful for what I've had and what I still have. And it's still a lot better than what most people have.)

Working Mom Mondays - the sicky

My 2012 has been pure laziness so far.  Really. I have no motivation to do anything including writing or blogging.  Sorry about that.  Sometimes when I feel I have so much I have to do it gets me lazy and then the things I want to do suffer.  

This past weekend has been a total washout with Lyla sick.  She has a pretty bad cold and yes just threw up a little bit in my hand.  That should gross me out, right?  But it doesn't.  In fact all weekend as I didn't get any sleep, had buggers all over me, and a sick child clinging to me all waking hours of the day I had this overwhelming desire to have more children.  I find that odd.

Last night as the clothes piled up, the toys lay everywhere, and my to-do list chock full of work I decided, screw it!

I filled up our jacuzzi tub (that we hardly use ever) with warm water, threw in some green bubble bath, and stripped me and Lyla down for some bath time fun. We sat in there and we laughed together.  I put the jets on and that made the bubbles rise up right under Lyla's chin.  She couldn't smile big enough.  We sat in there playing and singing until the water got cold and our skin was ultra pruny.  We rinsed off the bubbles in the shower and then got on our jammies. It was so much fun and just what we needed to end a long miserable weekend.  

After a few nights of barely sleeping, Lyla slept for 14 straight hours last night; which also means I got some quality shut eye.  I guess that that was just what we needed.  Now as I sit here and try to work, with my still sick child clinging on to me, I feel my throat getting scratchy.  I am so not ready to be sick, again.  Let's just hope it passes me by.  

In the mean time, I'm going to try my best to get work done today with my little sicky.  I'll watch way more Sesame Street and Barney than I'd like to or want her to and we'll just have to cuddle a lot.  That's fine by me.

Working Mom Mondays - Make Believe

My daughter just discovered the world of make believe.  It is the most precious thing.  She goes into her kitchen and makes me dinner.  Comes over with a bowl and spoon for me to try it.  I eat it up and then tell her I want more so she goes and makes more.  She "picks" something off the table and feeds it to her pal Grover.  

I don't know if I showed her this when I was playing with her or if she learned it from school but whatever it is it's adorable.  Kids are so honest and naive.  They live in a world where their lives are about fun, learning, and playing.  They don't have worries and have such a vivid imagination.  I am just fascinated with it.  I watch Lyla doing what she's doing and it is so silly yet so creative.  

For one and a half, she is incredibly smart; I like to think she's smarter than any other kid.  But Lyla is not just book smart, she is just smart.  She can name her animals and make their sounds, she can almost sing the ABCs and jingle bells, she can count to 3, she evens says her name when you ask her what it is, and follow almost every command we give her.  But Lyla can also build a tower with her blocks, play pretend in the kitchen, she can pick up her baby and the bottle, feed her, and then burp her.  She can "read" books and has figured out how to turn her toys on and off.  Her new favorite thing, thanks to her dad, is to put her blankie over her head and walk around like a ghost.  She is well trained and knows what she can and can't do around the house.  We have never put up gates or baby proofed our house.  She has learned and follows the rules.  I couldn't ask for a better kid, really.

But what really gets me is her imagination.  Her world of make believe.  I'm just dazzled by her smarts and creativity.  Every day she surprises me with more.  I am the luckiest mom because I have a great kid.  I just hope she holds on to that creativity and imagination all through life.