Lyla started school (and by school, I mean daycare but school makes it feel less guilty on my part...) today. The day started off pretty rough as Lyla was cranky and clingy this morning. I almost considered keeping her home but decided to suck it up. I got her dressed and tried for a photo opp to capture this moment. But she was less than cooperative for that:
She then realized the seriousness of the day and thought better of it. She promptly grabbed her book and began practicing her reading for the big day.
She said bye to her daddy and I put her in the car but it was like she knew what was going on. She wouldn't let me get her in the seat and was pretty much freaking out. It took all my patience and strength to not just grab her and bring her back inside to cuddle all day.
We got to school and I gathered her things. She was excited to see me and get out of the car seat. Once inside she was off in her room watching what all the other kids where doing while I filled up her cubby. After talking to the teachers for a few minutes, the inevitable was there. I had to leave. I bent down to Lyla and gave her a kiss and went right out the door without looking back. I stood at the door window for a minute to see if she'd cry or run for me but I couldn't see her or hear her - a good thing I imagine.
As soon as I got to the car I was a mess. In tears I called my mom about what a bad mother I was and she was laughing and helping me get over it. She made me realize that I don't have to do this every day and she is going to be fine. Just one day a week to play with some new friends and she's going to have a blast. I sobbed the entire way home wondering if she was okay and thinking about how I'd be okay.
First thought was that I needed a pick-me-up and what better way to make me feel better: hot fudge sundae. Everyone knows that a hot fudge sundae always makes you feel better. I started heading for the nearest DQ but up realizing it was only 9:30am, I had to have a plan B. I therefore decided to hit up a local bakery for the most fattening, greasy egg sandwich and a mocha latte. After I stuffed my face I did feel better. Now the aftereffects of that, not feeling too great.
Will I get over this? Yes I will be fine. Will Lyla be fine? Yes she's not even going to realize I'm not there. Will I check up on her? Yes, I'm dialing now...