Welcome to Remote Work & Staying Sane During Covid-19 Crisis

As a full time, work at home mom for the past 10 years, welcome to my world everyone! With Covid-19 utterly shutting down our country, I’m grateful I can work remotely. Those of you joining the work at home gang I have some advice for you.

1. Have a schedule and stick to it - same goes for the kids. I will be spending my weekend setting up an hourly curriculum of sorts to keep the kiddos busy including school work, play time, crafts, conditioning (for the gymnast), outside time, and screen time. The plan also includes doing a research project, book report, and learning outside by planting vegetables and such. All it takes is one spreadsheet to get you going and keep on task.
2. Start your work early in the morning so you can justifiably have a few hours in the late afternoon for down time or to hang with the kids. The kids are going to want to be with you and play with you. Bake that time into the schedule so you’re not feeling guilty and them resentful.
3. Plan screen time around conference calls. It's the best way to have complete quiet/focus. Screen time should be closely monitored and controlled in my opinion. Save it for when you really need it.
4. If the opportunity allows, run to the dollar store or dollar general and get some new items to keep them entertained. When you need peace or quiet for work, throw them a new coloring book or activity they haven't seen before to spark interest.

During this time specific to the Covid-19 threat, my plans also include:

1. No play dates. Do virtual hangouts. I'm going to ask my kids' friends' parents for times and let them Skype or FaceTime to "play virtually". This will be our social interaction and I know it will help.
2. Keep "school" hours. No sleeping in or staying up late. No pajamas all day, every day. Keep some part of normal.
3. Lots of outside energy time allows for proper rest time after lunch so keep that “rest” time after lunch for your piece of mind and theirs.
4. If your child has an extracurricular activity, I plan to still do that but at home. They are missing soccer practice? Do “soccer practice” at the same day/time but at home and make a family event. If you don’t have equipment, conditioning is always fun and easy. My kids love conditioning. We have a conditioning dice ball and they roll it to see what they can do. Pushups, running, jumping jacks, etc. You can simply do this with popsicle sticks or using something online. Get your kids moving, it’s important!

It’s more important than ever that we keep social distancing so we don’t spread this nasty thing far and wide. Please do what’s right for your family and for those around you and stay home. We may all go a little insane there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.

Find my school plan for my kids here to copy or share.

An Extraordinary Daughter with a Goal and a Drive

Snow days in town means for cancellations and postponements.

Including school, practice, parties, and more. The weather left us with a Saturday dilemma. Go to a birthday party or rescheduled gymnastics team practice.

I told Lyla she had to decide which to go to. It was her decision and I'd support what she decided. Because of the locations, we could not possibly do both.

She was very upset at first so I told her to think about it for a bit. She then came to me with the following:

Lyla: I decided. I am going to gymnastics practice and not the birthday party. I'm serious about gymnastics and I have two meets coming up so I need to be able to do my best. So I need the practice. It's more important to me than going to a birthday party and eating junk food.

I was taken aback for a minute simply because SHE'S 7! And to have that much determination, drive, and discipline at SEVEN is unbelievable.

I look at her in doubt unable to believe she came from me. But I see so much of her father in her so I know where she gets it from for sure. No one can stop her; she has goals and a fever to reach those goals that I've never seen before.

Not only am I proud to be her mother but I'm so excited to see what she achieves. No matter what, she is steering her own path; I am not going to interfere or push or drive any doubts. She alone will drive her passion to extraordinary heights. As high as she wants to go.

My baby girl - so grown up. My baby girl - pushing the limits and making something of herself. So incredibly proud.

Bon Voyage 2017

Goodbye 2017...

I’m not sad to see you go. To me, 2017 was a shit year.

On the surface, it would appear to everyone around me that it was fantastic. But to me personally, it’s been a struggle.

Just admitting to that is hard. But even more so, it makes me sad.

In 2017, our daughter went from being a gymnast for fun to an actual competitive one. She has competed in 3 meets coming in first place all around in one and 2nd place all around in another one. She’s a determined, strong young lady with so much drive that I can’t help but see so much of her father in her. Everything she does, she works hard for and does it well. She’s a fighter - growing so strong and more beautiful every day.

Even with all she’s accomplished this past year, 2017 was still a struggle for me.

In 2017, our son just turned 3! Already! He’s so freaking smart and very fresh - but only for me. He took to potty training like a champ and is thriving at his new school. A decision I made and felt guilty for for a long while. He wants to be just like his sister and is not afraid to ask for privacy in the bathroom or tell me to stop singing if I’m annoying him. Though he can be a total pain, he’s the sweetest boy and I’m so grateful to be his mom.

My sweet boy is growing and doing well but still 2017 was a struggle for me.

My husband needed an outlet for work stress and had a desire to get fit. He has been at the gym almost every day for months now and has lost a lot of weight. He looks fantastic, is in a better place, and is healthy. I’m so proud of his progress and dedication to getting fit. He’s been an inspiration.

But 2017 was still a struggle.

I got a promotion at work, did some really awesome things, and took on the task of a working mom like a hurricane. Driving from one thing to the next, doing fun things with the kids, and making sure they were a part of something amazing. I struggled, but I did it.

We all have our health.

We have a roof over our heads.

We have enough money for what we need.

We have family and friends.

But 2017 was still a struggle, for me.

So with all we have accomplished, I’m sad how much 2017 was a struggle for me.

The personal struggles I’ve been through this year are just that, personal. I have avoided writing about it hence have avoided writing in general. And a non writing writer is the worst kind.

Someday I will talk or write about it but for now, it’s still going on. I’m just not ready.

I’d like to sit here and say 2018 will be better but I’m not going to lie to myself. I have no idea what 2018 will bring.

All I know is that I will try my best to not struggle for 2018. I want more than anything to thrive. One day at a time, I hope I can get there.

Some Kids are Assholes

My daughter was so upset. She wasn’t having fun so it was time to go.

I’m grateful for my daughter because she is smart and kind. She truly knows the difference between right and wrong. I work hard to raise her that way. I’m consistent and honest with her. She, in turn, is being molded into an amazing young person. I couldn’t be more proud. Truly, she’s an awesome kid.

So when her day was being ruined, momma bear was ready to pounce. I have to admit, like many other moms, I’m very passionate when it comes to wrongdoings towards my child. Sometimes a little too passionate. But again, I’ve made a commitment to be open and honest with my children as much as I can. Not only does it ensure trust but not sugar coating things helps them in the long run. Life isn’t all puppies and rainbows and sometimes it’s better to learn that at an early age.

However the flip side of things is very important. As soon as she came up to me upset about something and explained it (in this particular instance, kids were being crazy at an open gym and kept cutting her in line), my first response wasn’t how dare they, it was, so what about you? Are you cutting in line? Are you being assertive? Did you speak up?

I think parenting can be really hard but I feel we can not think our children are perfect angels. No matter how you raise them, you can never assume that they are never in the wrong. Every single time my daughter is upset or hurt, I don’t want to hear who did what. I want to hear how it got to that. So someone pushed you, well, what were you doing before the alleged push occurred (too many screenings of legal shows for me…)? Sometimes she is innocent but other times she’ll tell me the background and there is more to the story. She may have brought on the wrongdoing and is not totally innocent.

Having the right balance of comfort and lesson learning for these situations is really important. You have to show the child that there is a consequence for everything; sometimes good and sometimes bad. Always tell them to think before they speak or act - is that the way you’d want to be treated or talked to?

Honestly, it’s exhausting but really rewarding. We’re at a point now with my daughter, who is six, can pinpoint exactly what happened and why. I no longer have to ask. She’s also incredibly honest. She has never gotten into trouble before but recently she did. I didn’t get a call from the teacher, I didn’t have to. My daughter told me herself; crying hysterically because again she knows the difference between right and wrong and was disappointed in herself. Granted the offense was not all that bad but the whole idea of doing something against the rules at school really did a number on her. Some parents would blame the other kids for peer pressuring their child (which is really what I wanted to do). But I know my child has a mind of her own and I told her that. That can’t be the excuse.

So when she came to me upset about the kids cutting her in line, and ready to go home, she was honest with me about it. And I in turn believed her. We got into the car and she looked at me with this sad yet very mature look on her face asking me, mommy why are those kids so mean.

I was honest with her and told her, some kids are just assholes. She looked at me wide eyed and smiled. I told her not to repeat that (mentally cursing myself for slipping and talking to a six year old like that!).

I followed up with this. I told her she and her brother are very lucky. I said that mommy and daddy care so much about you both that we want to raise you to be good people. That is why we’re very strict with you about being respectful, having manners, and being kind. We drill it into you all the time and punish you when you misbehave.

I told her that some of the kids in there being crazy and being rude maybe don’t have parents like you do. Maybe their parents don’t care if they have manners or are being kind. And isn’t that sad? Don’t all kids deserve to have parents to raise them to be the best they can? So instead of being upset with those kids, be more kind to them. They aren’t getting raised like you are even though they deserve to be. Who knows, maybe a little kindness towards them will have a positive effect on them.

She really liked that answer and I could see her wheels spinning. She smiled and said thank you to me.

Yes, some kids are assholes but mine will not be.

Dear Final Five

Dear the Final Five team,

Gabby, Aly, Simone, Madison, and Laurie, I don’t know you but I’ve been watching your incredible performances for a few years. Gabby, when my daughter was two, she watched all of your routines in London on record for about 3-4 months. I signed her up for gymnastics right after that. She was obsessed and still is.

I wanted to write to you ladies to say thank you. Thank you for representing our country in such a classy, enthusiastic, and memorable way. Thank you for being the epitome of a stellar athlete. Thank you for your strength, your skills, and your positive body image for women everywhere. Most importantly, thank you for providing my daughter with the most incredible role models a child could ask for.

I watched your routines with a bated breath. I’ve always been in love with watching gymnastics. Gymnasts make what they do look incredibly effortless. I’m in awe how you can twist and bend your body. I’m in awe how you swing gracefully from bar to bar. I am flabbergasted how you can do the things you do on that tiny beam. It’s remarkable. It’s unbelievable. It’s incredibly beautiful.

Lyla - aspiring gymnast

My six year old daughter has high hopes. She loves gymnastics (as much as she loves me her mother, which she reminds me of daily!). We watched the Rio games, all of the gymnastics and she was in love. After every routine she would tell me what she liked about it. I would ask her if she wanted to do that one day and she’d nod her head enthusiastically. Then I’d ask her how you ladies can do all those amazing things and she’d say practice. I’d tell her lots of practice. I’ve reminded her many times that she can do anything she wants to do with hard work, perseverance, and passion.

She has loved everything about all of you this entire Olympics with the exception of your makeup! I think she was just jealous of all the sparkle!

We live in an amazing time with innovative technology, more opportunities than most in this world, and the reach of dreams right at our fingertips. My daughter can be anything she aspires to be. If she wants to make it to the Olympics someday or simply perform gymnastics for fun, she can do it. And no matter where she ends up, I know she’s got some amazing idols out there in you all.

So again, thank you for dedicating your young lives to this elegant sport and being there for all the young girls in America. Some day there will be a new Olympic champion and when they hang that gold medal around her neck, she’ll say she looked up to you.

Sincerely,

A Gymnastics Mom/Wannabe gymnast/Fan

Healthy Advice from My Newly Six Year Old

My husband took me out last night. A spur of the moment, luckily got a babysitter kind of night. We were literally gone for only just under two hours. But it was enough time for me to A: cry like a baby, B: be away from my house and work, and C: chug down two margaritas thank you very much.

I had had a rough day. A rough day at work, a rough day with the toddler, and a very unsettling realization. A good friend of mine passed away just over a year ago and on my phone I had 2-3 voicemails she had left me prior to her passing. I hadn’t been able to delete them and would listen to them when I felt down. Last night when I wanted to hear them, they were gone. I guess my phone only saves voicemails for a certain amount of time; this I hadn’t known. I got my kids organized and safely playing and took a sobbing shower. The kind of shower you take when you need some privacy from your family and need to cry, really loud. I’ll never get those voicemails back. It broke my heart.

So off I went to drink (I had asked for some shots which the husband thankfully denied me). Two margaritas and some positive adult conversation later I was feeling a bit better albeit still pretty sad. When I got home, my daughter was still up so I went and laid in bed with her (aka passed out in a drunken stupor with her). She rubbed my head and cuddled with me only complaining that I had bad breath. I felt so ashamed that it had come to that; my six year old comforting me.

Eventually I picked myself up and went to bed.

I woke up this morning and got into the daily grind. My daughter found me when she woke and asked if I was feeling better. Then much to my surprise she said, “Yesterday is over and today is a new day. Let’s try to make it better.”

I couldn’t love her more if I tried.

Proud Parenting Moment

I have to take my daughter somewhere. Long story. Nothing bad...!

I reminded her today about it and I asked her how she'd behave.

She said: I'm going to be friendly, kind, and respectful.

I just watched her in awe as she, without being prompted, spouted out those three amazing adjectives.

When my daughter talks like that, it makes me so proud of her and of me. I have done something right. Being a mother is tough and there is always a fine line of having fun and being their friend as well as teaching them those three things.

If that is all I've taught her throughout the years, I feel my mission is accomplished. Being friendly, kind, and respectful will surely take her places.

Things I Almost Tweeted Today

So may good one liners today! But I was too lazy to fit them under 140 characters!

When it comes to having a husband (like mine) who cooks, cleans, and does laundry OR kills spiders for you, I realized tonight I'd rather have the latter.

The worse time of day = after bath time. I need to get a diaper on, lotion my kid, and put on pajamas all without either of us hurting ourselves.

Lost my cool in front of the kids today. Screamed like a banshee when a wood spider came out of the tub faucet. Good thing my baby thought it was funny and laughed at me.

In the process of transporting said spider from the dry tub (with my naked baby in it) to the toilet, I dropped him unbeknown to me. Therefore two minutes later we all screamed again when he was on the floor right next to us.

My baby finally grasped how to do 'how big is the baby?! SO BIG!' today. So naturally I taught him how to say "dude" as well. He did good. A+ for effort.

Teaching my son to say "dude" was successful two fold. It actually sounded like "dude" and it royally pissed off my British husband cause he really despises that word. Okay, okay. We'll work on "mate" tomorrow.

Proud Parenting Moment

I had some extra time this morning - about 20 minutes. So I decided to throw in a Jillian Michaels workout rather than get on my laptop and work.

As I was sweating and doing my workout, Lyla joined me in the cardio portions. She always laughs and thinks it's fun. When I was done, I got ready for the shower and Lyla told me I should have just worked out in my top (sports bra) like the girls on the workout show. I was honest and said I didn't look like them and I wanted to hide my flab.

She looked at me with the most beautiful face and said, "Everyone is special in their own way and I love you just the way you are."

Day = made.

I'm so proud of my daughter for listening to me when I tell her things and for really loving me just as I am. Most importantly I'm happy I'm raising her not to judge others and truly believe that everyone is special in their own way.

Lyla girl

This blog needed a little happy.  

Here is the happy!

Proud Parent Moment (PPM)

New feature on my blog; Proud Parenting Moments (PPM).  Especially this one as she says, "I did it!".

My heart melts...