Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Cars Suck and Silly Things that Make me Laugh

My daughter is on April break right now. I figured I’d take off a few days so we could have a long weekend doing some fun stuff. It was a nice thought.

The week before my four day weekend with the kids, I decided last minute to book a trip to the New Jersey shore. My parents wanted to scope out a beach house for the summer so I tagged along. I was envisioning a couple days swimming in a hotel pool and walking the beach with the kids. Time away from the monotony of day to day life. Some sun and sand and fun!

The day before we were to leave my son started puking and had a fever. The day we were leaving he was a bit better thankfully so we hit the road.

An hour into the trip my car died. On the highway.

An SUV with four adults, two children (plus car seats!) and an entire weekend of gear jam packed into it. Dead.

(Just think about that for a second.)

I was able to coast into a Dunkin Donut parking lot (thankfully) and we had to unload the kids and carseats while the car got towed leaving us stranded there with bagels for dinner until a very helpful family member came to pick us up. We then had to go to the towed car and jam pack all our gear into the other car - and yes reinstall car seats! Fun!

Hotel canceled (but still charged). Beach trip canceled. Vacation ruined.

We spent the weekend at my parents. Oh and I tried breaking into their house at one point and set off the alarm.

My children were driving me nuts, bummed about their lost trip so I left after day two to head home and stop at the beach. We lasted 45 minutes until one had to pee and the other had consumed way too much sand.

But we will prevail I told them! We will make lemonade out of lemons, Goddammit, if it kills me!

The next day we had a good day of hanging out, playing, and another hour at the beach. Not too bad! I even had a spontaneous date night with my daughter which was just what we needed.

Then I heard my car was actually dead and will cost a fortune to fix. So now I’m car less and broke. And all those vacation plans I was working on for the summer are dead as well.

And I woke up this morning to a screaming toddler and then spilled coffee all over me burning my boob. Seriously.

All I want to do is eat my feelings and give up on life. Talk about a downer.

I put on TV for the kids because I just wanted to shower in peace and think about things. In the shower, I was feeling really down. I was about to cry and then I remembered that it could be worse. Some bad luck can’t make me so miserable. It’s just a car. My toddler will grow and stop crying constantly.

Out of the blue, in the shower, I drew a penis on the glass door out of the condensation. I have NO idea why. Then I started laughing hysterically. So I drew another one. And then some boobs. I was laughing so hard, my child came from upstairs to check on me.

So misery, be damned. Tears, go away. Car, FU for messing up my vacation. I have my health, I have my kids, and I can draw penis’. And I can laugh it off and pray for better times ahead!

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