Thursday, October 01, 2015

Book of Your Life

I wrote this for a friends wedding and had previously published it here on These are Days... Just came across it today randomly and wanted to share again. Love this..

In the book of your life, there is the story of your love. The first few chapters are short ones, detailing your devoted love for parents and family. Fun tales of writing Mother’s Day cards and doing arts and crafts; they are always gifts from the heart to show your family how much you love them. Love is so easy at this age. It is innocent and unconditional. We spend this time just being kids and loving with our whole beings.

Once you get a little older, the chapters get a little longer, and more characters are introduced. That cute boy at recess who you play tag with, the next door neighbor you sit on the bus with, and your sibling’s friends who hang out at your house, are impossible to not blush over. The opposite sex is so alive in your mind but you’re still too young to really understand and wholly love.

Adolescence is a wonderful time in our lives. So many stories, so many love tales and tragedies take over our existence. Though exciting and ever-changing, our mystical romances and casual flings help us practice for the real thing and spectacular act of, love. These chapters in our book are sometimes forgotten or neglected due to the heartache and pain we suffered through.

All the experience gained during our teenage years is tossed aside as we grow into adults. We don’t want to remember our proms and our bad breakups. We want to move on with our lives. The next few chapters in our love story weave tales of happiness, sadness, fun and regret. We find ourselves enjoying the company of friends, finding out who we really are and who we want to be. We are devastated by break-ups, and too weak to approach the one our hearts call out to. This period in our life is for introspection, growth, and most of all for self-love.

The most beautiful chapter in this story is the final one. One in which you have grown to be independent, to love yourself; you are finally ready to give yourself to, and love, someone else. Then you meet that special being. Time stops. In your world, the only people on earth are you and your soul mate standing in front of you. All of a sudden it does not matter what day it is, how much money is in your bank account, or what’s happening tomorrow. All you know is that right then, you found that someone to love. You’ll be happy to be with this person for the rest of your life and making them happy will bring you no greater joy. Nothing else matters to you. You realize that the love you’ve been growing your whole life has blossomed for this one, special person. That love is the love that will keep you writing the rest of your love story.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Three Wishes of a Working Mom

I’m a lucky woman. I have an amazing husband who pulls his weight more than most husbands. I have two beautiful, healthy children. I have a career (and I get to work from home!). I have a gorgeous roof over my head, aka the homestead.

I’m your average working, multi-tasking, highly caffeinated, going a million miles per hour, mom.

It doesn’t matter how lucky I am or how much I have; I want more. Now I’m not saying I need to win the $300,000 Powerball (though that would be AMAZING, right!?). I’m not even saying I need a maid, an assistant, to quit my job, or even to have unlimited vacation time (all of which would be awesome…). I wish simply.

If that hilarious yet all powerful Genie from Aladdin came tearing into my neighborhood, you can bet I’d be rubbing that lamp for my three wishes! I wouldn’t need days or even hours to come up with my wishes either. I know exactly what I want (and ixnay on the whole wishing for more wishes…)

Three things to make my life easier. Three things that would bring me joy, make me smile, and an overall happier person.

Three things that could easily exist in real life if my husband wanted to always be on my good side, my kids wanted me to say “yes” to pretty much anything, or if anyone who loved me wanted to do me a favor. All very doable, easy things.

Wish #1:
I want someone to wash ALL my bottles. I am so sick of piling up my baby’s bottles and then having to wash all the little parts. Seriously. Since breastfeeding ended, bottle washing has been my nemesis. Usually I’m good and will do 5-6 per day but lately I’ve been letting the bottles pile up to 10-11. And normally I wouldn’t have that many bottles but my fussy son only likes the certain old kind that I have which led me to Craigslist to get more because mine started leaking. And despite only wanting half a dozen of the lot, she gave me them all. Which of course allows me to not wash for days. Which of course creates an 11-12 pile up of dirty bottles. UGH!

So Genie, my first wish is to have someone wash all of my dirty bottles everyday. And while you’re at it, wash all my dishes because let’s face it, bottles won’t be a problem forever. So yeah, please do all my dishes (including bottles), forever.

Wish #2:
I want all my laundry put away for me. Yes, just put away. I don’t mind doing laundry or even folding. I just HATE putting it away! I constantly let clean clothes baskets pile up in my room which leads to an hour of standing in my room sorting them and then putting them all away at least once or twice a week. Life would be so much happier if all my clothes were instantly put away for me.

Genie, my second wish is for all my clean clothes to automatically get put away, neatly where they belong! Oh and for them to stay organized too!

Wish #3:
I want eggs for breakfast and I don’t want to cook them. Eggs are SO easy to cook. Eggs are the best breakfast. But I don’t have time to do them for myself. I’m too busy with school lunch, getting the children ready, putting in some early work hours, and, of course, inhaling coffee. I want fresh eggs cooked every morning for me. Egg omelets on Monday, eggs on toast for Tuesday, scrambled eggs on Wednesday, egg sandwich on Thursday, and eggs over easy with bacon for Friday! Then surprise me on the weekends!

So Genie, my third and final wish is for someone to cook me eggs every day for breakfast and of course do the clean up afterwards!

Thank you in advance.
Once I’m done with my three wishes, I’ll send this wonderful, magic Genie to your house next. What are your three wishes going to be?

Monday, September 21, 2015

15 Reasons My Baby Won't Nap

As a full time working momma from home, I need naps. Not just for my own sanity but to ensure I can get some uninterrupted work done during the day. But my son, he’s got other plans.

Why is he not napping? I have some ideas...

  1. He’s not napping and just screaming because he loves to scream and cry. He thinks his voice is comparable to Bono and has big plans for his future.
  2. He lost the nap battle yesterday and is damned if he’ll lose again. He’s a winner in the true spirit of the word. He will not quit! He will win!
  3. He knows I hate the crying. He knows deep down inside how much his crying gets to me. He absolutely feels that if he keeps crying uncontrollably, I will give in and pick him up because the crying breaks my heart.
  4. He won’t nap because he’s just not tired. His yawning, crankiness, and tired eyes, which are the sure signs, are just a gig. He’s pretending he’s crying for his future acting career. If he can fool me, just think how amazing his Oscar acceptance speech will be some day. “I dedicate this to my mother who thought I was tired all those time but in truth I was acting from such an early age. Sorry mom, but look at me now!”
  5. He’s not happy with the crib mattress. He is pretty sure he ordered the Tempurpedic but for some reason he got a Sealy. The coils on his back are just not as comfy as the foam could be. Until he gets them switched out, he will cry in protest.
  6. He knows his big sister is not napping and nor does she have to. At the ripe old age of 9 months old, he understands that life is not fair but there should be some consistency between siblings when it comes to fairness.
  7. The hand crocheted blanket you insist on putting on him made by his great grandmother, though sentimental, is not practical. He’s literally sweating his balls off! Crack a window, sure. Strip me his diaper, try it. But it doesn’t matter, get the damn blanket off of him or he’s going to just cry out “for the love of God stop covering me in 80 degree heat! And no it’s not comforting! Stop making me be like Linus from Peanuts. They all made fun of him with his blanket dependency. Just. Take. It. Off!”
  8. He sees the bottle over there. He’s not hungry at all but he’s looking at it and smiling. So he suckers you into giving it to him. He’s laying in his crib drinking the bottle all by himself thinking he’s hot shit. He’s got you just where he wants you. He doesn’t even want to drink it but will play with it and your mind. If he keeps pretending to drink, he knows you think he’s hungry and he can successfully stall nap until the bottle is taken away once you realize his game. You take it and then he cries again so you give it back. And so this ridiculous charade continues until you give up and he wins.
  9. He knows you’re downstairs eating ice cream. He’s sad about this for a number of reasons. A. You’re eating it without him. How very dare you! B. He’s seen you whine and complain about all that extra baby weight that he “supposedly” caused. So he’s unsure exactly why you’re making matters worse with the ice cream. Therefore he’s going to cry and cry for you. Cry because he’s sad you can’t control yourself and cry because he wanted that last scoop of mint chocolate chip.
  10. He’s not going to nap because he can hear the TV. The color, the sound, the movement! Oh, it’s too much fun! He wants to see whatever is playing whether it’s Sons of Anarchy or Big Bird. TV is the coolest thing he’s ever encountered and there is no way in hell he’s going to sleep and miss a thing!
  11. He knows undeniably that if he sweetly coos mamamamama, you’re going to melt. It’s a given. Why nap all by himself if he calls mamamama and you, being the sentinmental fool that you are, go running to listen and coo back at him. Most likely this will result in picking him up for some extra cuddles. Nap time is a wash because he clearly called out to you. Sucker.
  12. No way he’s napping. He’s naked except for his diaper but he knows there is this thingy under that diaper. He can try with all his might to grab it from outside the diaper or he can struggle to reach inside to get it. Either way, that thing that peepee comes out of is way too cool to not touch right now. Nap? Negative…
  13. Nap in his crib? Seriously? Why would he possibly nap in the crib by himself when yesterday daddy held him for two hours so comfortably in the chair to sleep. He had the exact neck support required as well as just the right level of warmth. The crib is so isolated. He says no thanks to that.
  14. He knows at this exact moment you’re frazzled. There are a billion things you need to do right now but can’t until he goes to sleep. He’s going to use this opportunity to toy with you. He’ll laugh, smile, cry, and scream. Anything. He’ll do it all purposely not to sleep. It’s called momma training. He’s got to immerse you in worst case scenario type moments to get you ready for the real deal later on in life. If parenting was always easy, you’d have a real problem come the teen years. You’re going to thank him for this later. Promise.
  15. He just misses you. He can’t sleep because your sweet smell is gone. Your beautiful long locks are not available for pulling. Your neck and cheeks aren’t close by for pinching. Your crazy old man voice that he thinks is hysterical is quiet. Until you stay by his side, rubbing his back, and gently shushing him, he’s not going to sleep. And even then, he's’ going to pull a #8 and then a #11. At this rate, don’t bother. He wins.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Prince With No Care

I woke up around 4:30 with the baby boy and was singing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song for some unknown reason. It was very odd. Then I spun it to my own theme song.

Sing this to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme Song. Enjoy.

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the mom of a prince with no care

In Bristol, Connecticut was born in raised,
On the sports field is where I spent most of my days

Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When here comes my husband who was up to no good
Started to make trouble right up in my hood
It happened so fast and I got pregnant right there
Boom into the world came our prince with no care

I begged and pleaded with him day after day
But he still did what he wanted in his own way
Put him in his high chair and tried to make him eat
Instead he turned around and wanted to stand up in his seat.

Put him in his play pen so he would just stay
But the whining then starts and it’s not okay
No matter where he is he stands up to bite
Hmmmmm this teething thing is not alright.

Let him crawl around because he just wants his freedom
I try to put on cute shoes but he really doesn’t need’ em
As soon as he’s free he heads right for the stairs
I’m really not prepared for this prince with no care.

It’s all gone down hill as soon as he started to move
Why can’t you just sit still, you’ve nothing to prove
You’re sister was an angel, would always behave
You’re always pushing boundaries, trying to be brave

I whistled for you and when you came near
I told you that you’re so cute and that you’re my dear
If anything I could say that this cuddle was rare
You need to be on the move, you prince with no care

I rocked you to sleep around 7 or 8
And I whispered in your ear, hope I don’t smell ya til later'
I looked at you my darling
Though you give me gray hair

I love you my boy, my prince with no care

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Unconventional Mom Workouts to Abolish Guilt

If you’re a mom and no matter what your deal is (working mom, stay at home mom, whatever mom), you’re busy. I can tell myself every day I’ll get up at 5AM and workout but it’s not going to happen. Not when I’m up until midnight doing crap. Not when the baby is waking me at 3AM because he’s teething. I can try all day to fit in a workout but the day flies and there is no time. I can attempt at night after the kids go to bed but let’s face it, that is wine and work time.

Luckily, I’ve invented my own unconventional workouts that can be included in everyday life. I like to think that each of these burns calories and provides me with the lack of guilt that I didn’t go for a jog or hit up the gym. If you need a quick go to workout, try one of mine! Guaranteed to make you sweat!

The Grease.
Put on the soundtrack of Grease and let her rip! I perform all the songs and dances from the movie and my kids love it at the same time they think I’m crazy. You do that hand jive fast enough, you can feel the burn! You’re the One That I Want and all those Sandy hip gyrations are more than enough to break a sweat. The best part of this workout is not only are you listening to fun music while entertaining your children, you can also multi-task! I do the dishes, pick up toys, and so much more while doing The Grease.

The Oopsie I Forgotsie.
I’m one of those planner people. Before I do anything, I plan my step after it. This is specifically my deal with the stairs. I never go up or down the stairs in my house without planning what needs to go up or down. My hands are never empty on the stairs. However, if I want to get some extra steps in, I will not bring everything at the same time. Time to fill up the diaper bag? I’ll run up and get diapers. Then I’ll go back up for the wipes. One more trip for the extra outfit. After three flights at top speed, I’m breaking a sweat. Yeah baby! Work it!

The Ooopsie I Forgotsie can be utilized any time you’re leaving the house as well. You’re in the car with the kids and all your gear and start backing out of the driveway. Wait! You forgot your cell phone. Sprint into the house. Sit back down and buckle up. Then, wait! You forgot your water! Two to three forgotten items provides a few opportunities for some prime sprints! Yay for multitasking!

The Target 20.
Need to get some supplies? Get your list ready, put on your kicks, and hit the store! Put 20 minutes on your phone timer, put the kids in the cart, and run like hell! See how fast you can make it through Target or whatever shop you’re in before your timer goes off. Pushing a cart with kids while maneuvering the aisle turns at top speeds makes, you feel amazingly high on life! Not only are you getting some cardio but you’re getting in and out of the store before the kids start to whine! For extra calorie burn, use the ginormous two-seater cart at Target. That beast really helps you maximize your workout while shopping.

The Jump Around.
One of my favorite all time songs, Jump Around by House of Pain. When this songs kicks off, my kids get huge smiles and are so excited! Not only do I love sharing classic hits from my youth but I love jumping to this song. Talk about cardio! The key is to jump around, jump around, jump up, jump up and get down - for the entire song. I do this while doing clean up, laundry, whatever really! Sometimes we play it just for fun. For extra calorie burn, play it twice in a row and wowsa!

The Red Light, Green Light.
This simple kids game is a great way to get in some exercise and play with your kids at the same time. Our kids really just want to play - all the time. So use this game to accomplish both. The key is to let them be in charge of the signals and get a good 20 minutes in. If you don’t know this game, it’s easy. Your child is on one end of the room or yard and you are on the other. They give you light colors and you head towards them based on the color.

Green light = run
Yellow light = walk
Red light = stop

We also added:
Black light = walk like a zombie
Blue light = swim

This is more difficult to play when you’re holding your other child. I usually have my 9 month son on my hip when I’m running back and forth. If you don’t have another baby to carry, try holding your cat or dog. Or anything to help add extra calorie burn!

The CLAM = Cleaning Like A Madwoman. When your house needs to get clean each week, plan on doing it all in one go, as fast as you can. I usually vacuum, dust, and mop all in one go like a madwoman. I’m sweating like crazy when I’m done and my back is aching. But I have a clean house and can call off the need to workout the rest of the day! If you CLAM it once a week, that’s definitely considered a workout each week!

If you have kids, you most likely have LEGOs at your house. And sometimes they are everywhere. The LEGO is easy - let your kids play with LEGOs and then just clean them up off the floor! Squat and pick up. Squat and pick up. The LEGO can be used for any toy clean up but doing this with small LEGO bits allows for many more squats and lots more thigh burn!

Try one of these unconventional workouts today and abolish that guilt that you're too busy to exercise! But mostly, have fun!
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