Thursday, May 16, 2019

Guest Post on Snowflake Designs Blog: Is This Gymnastics Mom Doing Enough?

When your daughter is six years old and tells you she wants to be an Olympic gymnast, it’s admirable and adorable at the same time.

When that dream is still a real thing for her at age seven, eight, and nine you wonder where that fire in her comes from, how the passion lives in her, and of course, what you can do to help. Read more...

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Music Battles are the Best

Black Cassette Tape on Top of Red and Yellow Surface

My husband fell asleep on the couch the other night; with his glasses on his face and the TV on.

A natural and almost nightly occurrence for sure. The man works hard! He’s up early! No big deal.

I figured the simple process of turning the TV and lights off and me going upstairs would wake him per usual. But this time not so much.

As I sat in bed pondering my options, I reminisced about our old music fights. It had been a while. If you’ve never had a music fight, well buckle up because it is our favorite way to fight. Thanks to our love of music and the ability to play music anywhere in the house through our phones, our song battles were often and well loved.

We’d be arguing about something stupid so then we’d blast a song to each other in different parts of the house as we weren’t talking. I always started with Fuck You by Lily Allen because, why not. Then he’d play Bitch by Meredith Brooks. Usually I’d play a “Baby” song of some sort because he was acting like a baby, of course. And the battle would go on until we got bored and were laughing hysterically. You may think this is an unusual method for couples but I relished those music fights. Fun times! By the way, did you know there is a song called D. I. V. O. R. C. E.? Hahaha

So anyways, I was sitting on my bed wondering if I wanted to let him sleep all night on the couch hunched over with glasses on. Obviously not. That would be mean. So naturally I did the next best thing. Rather than go downstairs to wake him up, I asked Alexa to play Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, by Wham - really loud.

That did the trick. He was up, yelling obscenities for the record. I smiled at myself for the ingenuity of the situation. What a good wife I was! However, instead of turning off the song, he asked Alexa to make it louder. It was just after 11 p.m. and Wham was blasting through my house as if a sudden rave had popped up out of nowhere.

What would good mom do in this situation? I freaked the shit out! OMG the kids are going to wake up! Boy did he turn the tables on me! Frantically I worked on turning off the music as the hubs came upstairs with a smug smile on his face, sauntered into the bed and said good night.

I finally got Wham to shut the fuck up and ran to the kids beds to make sure they were still out cold. Thankfully they were. We have heavy sleepers so he knew they wouldn’t wake up but knew I’d freak out that they would.

Dodged that bullet! Phew!

The next morning both my kids came downstairs singing Wake Me Up Before You Go Go out of nowhere and kept complaining why that song was stuck in their heads. I nearly died laughing.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Even Working Moms on TV Don't Have it All

Being a sensitive person by nature, I always am tearing up or balling over things on TV. But if you are a fan of the show Homeland and you’re a working mom like me, there’s no way you didn’t get a bit choked up over the latest episode - the theme being you can’t be a career woman and a mom at the same time. Especially when you’re the super secretive, terrorism fighting, saving lives, bomb stopping, breaking and entering, seductress, bipolar CIA agent Carrie Mathison.

Every. Single. Day. I question my life choices. Want to own a home? Need a job. Want to pay for those expensive gymnastics team practices? Need that job to pay well. Need to replace the furnace of said home? Need a job plus a bonus or two for all the extras. Want to have some type of fun with your family? Need a job with vacation time!

Meanwhile I dream of the days when we can “downsize” and live on less when at the same time my husband begs me to drop everything, sell it all, and move. Can you say Island living? If island living has a walk in closet, a maid, and the same conveniences and opportunities for my kids, sign me up!

I have a career that I worked hard for because I had to. Not because I wanted to. However, over the years the want and the need have gone hand in hand. Especially on days when my toddler is driving me batshit crazy and I need a break to talk with grownups. I’m also lucky that I get to work from home, full time, in my mom pants. I can show up at my daughter’s school for all the special events. I can get up early or stay up late to put in hours. All the while my kids stand in my home office just hovering and waiting for attention. You want to be a mom on top of that job - good luck with that!

I don’t care how many articles I read about juggling the two or having it all - you can’t. It’s impossible. You’re always neglecting something; be it the kids, the husband, your work (your sanity!). I once had a mom say to me she doesn’t know how she’s so busy all the time as a stay at home mom. She also went on to say she doesn’t know how I do it all plus a job. I have to say that I’m one of the lucky ones who has a partner that definitely pulls his weight in the household chores category. But everything else a mom and an employee has to handle, I do on my own.

Then I watch this television show where Carrie the magnificent CIA agent is literally saving democracy and having her daughter taken away at the same time. You can’t fight the bad guys and be home in time for school pickup now, can you?! Now I’m not denying that this Carrie chick isn’t a bit nutso because the fact is she is bipolar on the show. Her character is also incredibly talented, intelligent, and super badass. Yet there she is watching her daughter being taken away from her while she jets off to an undisclosed location to, again, save her country for the 18th time at least during the show.

And yes it’s a tv show - I get it. Fiction! But there is no denying that there are some brave women serving our country be it in the military or as a federal agent. Some are most definitely moms as well. Maybe even at some point they had to leave their child for their job and for our country. It really sucks that a working mom has to put work before family.

So as the show rolled to credits, I sat there on the couch and sobbed for Carrie Mathison of Homeland and for all the other women in our world who have such tough decisions every day about how they can be a mom and be badass employees at the same time. I have to decide how much screen time my kids are going to get on snow days when I’m on back to back conference calls all day. I’m not deciding who’s going to be an interim mother while I’m out fighting crime. I don’t have it all that bad compared to the Carrie Mathison’s of the world.

I just find this whole idea that women can have it is all a crock of bullshit with a cherry on top. I have a beautiful, healthy family who I work hard to protect, grow, and take care of. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I know the hardworking men in my life don’t think twice about “having it all” because even if they don’t, they do. There is no stigma around working dads. I’m a working mom who is not getting enough sleep, enough time with her kids, enough time for work, and definitely not enough time with her husband.

I’m a working mom struggling to get it all done, every day. I’m a working mom looking for the light at the end of the tunnel; for a time when I can sleep again. I’m a working mom, just like Carrie Mathison, fighting to survive my life.

 I feel ya, Carrie. I do.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Raising Kind Humans and the Daily Challenge

I'm thrilled to have my latest published on Scary Mommy today. Be sure to check it out here.

Read here:

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Valentine's Day at Our House

The following is an exact replication of the tradition of our Valentine's Day every year and one that happened this year.

February 12:
Me on the phone with Jared.

Me: Are we doing anything for Valentine's Day? Do I need to get you a gift or something?

Jared: No, not doing anything. I'll make dinner as usual.

Me: Okay. We doing cards? Or something?

Jared: No, not spending $7 on a card...

Me: Okay, I got you one at the dollar store so...

Jared: Yeah, I don't have time for that.

Me: No biggie, so should I cancel the massive basket of chocolate I ordered for you?

Jared: I don't need that. Don't spend money like that...

Me: Yeah I'm kidding, I got you one of those Edible Arrangements with fruit since I know you're eating healthy. Isn't that so kind of me?

Jared: No, don't need that either. No need to waste money.

Me: Okay good cause I didn't order one but I thought about it so that counts for something.

Jared: Good.

February 13:
I wake up and upon checking my email, I see a FedEx delivery confirmation. Something from 800 Flowers is arriving today for me. Talk about anti-climatic...

The box arrives and it's 2 dozen red roses (don't think I ever got that before...)

Card reads:
I send a kiss inside the petals of each rose. Love,  Jared xoxoxo

I die laughing, almost fall over. Take a photo and text this to Jared:

"Is this for real? Or did someone else order these on your behalf?" 

"What did you get a Groupon?"

He responds:
"No lol!" 

"Of course I did!"

"By one get 2 free"

And I'll laugh the rest of the day. Thank you dear husband for being you.
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