Monday, May 02, 2016

D'Amato Babes - The Originals!

I wrote this back in high school and it's a true story from my childhood. 

“Now all we have to do is think of a name for us,” I said enthusiastically.  My cousins and I started brainstorming together.  We were so excited.  We had decided to become a singing group.  My cousin Mel and I were 10 and Gina was 8.  The plan was to think of a name, write some songs, find a manager and start performing in about two years when we were older.

“How about the sparklers?” Gina asked.  She was a very hyper 8 year old.  With her thick, dark brown hair and eyes, her mouth was going a mile a minute.

“No, that’s stupid.  It has to be something really us,” Melanie added.  The total opposite of her sister being blonde haired and blue eyed; she was very bright and was taking the situation very seriously.

“I know what it can be!” I yelled enthusiastically, “how about the D’Amato Babes!”

“Yeah, that’s great,” Mel said and Gina agreed.  We had our name and now the next step was to find a manager.

“How about Connie?” Gina threw at us.  Connie was Mel and Gina’s babysitter.  She lived down the street from them and we all admired her.  We decided on her.

“I think we should have DJ help her.  He’s the coolest cousin we have,” I added.  Then it was settled.  Connie and DJ were going to be our managers.  We just hoped they would accept the job.

I declared myself the writer of the songs and right away I came up with our big hit.  It was called “Cool Down”.  Gina and I sang while Mel was too shy.  Then we decided it was time for our first performance.  My dad got out the video camera and he taped us.

“C-o-o-l D-o-w-n.  Cool down, cool down, cool down…,” I started singing.  Mel and Gina were in the background dancing and Gina would occasionally chime in with me.  She couldn’t remember the words and it was so funny.  After we sang the whole song, we started campaigning for our rock group.

“We’re the D’Amato Babes!  I’m Gina, this is Mel and this is Jessie.  We’re the hottest rock group ever!  Our managers are Connie and DJ,” Gina yelled into the camera. 

“Yeah, we’re the best!” Mel added.

“Better than Vanilla Ice, New Kids on the Block, and Michael Jackson.  Get ready to cool down!” I screamed.

We then started posing in all different ways.  My dad got this all on film.  Now seven years later, I can still remember everything from that day.  We were so exuberant.  Every once and a while I look back at those days and wish they never ended.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

The Working Mom Transformation

Yup, this is me.

From homeless hobbit to meeting chic'ish.!

Check out my latest on Suburban Misfit Mom.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

SMM: I Can Do This

Looking around this house I let out a huge sigh of frustration.
Laundry piled up to be done. Dishes overflowing in the sink. Dishwasher to be emptied. My son, who just got two shots at the doctor is crying in his room. He woke up after a quick 20 minute nap when he usually does two hours. I’ve got so much work stockpiled in front of me just for my day job so let’s not talk about my other job; you know, motherhood.
Read the rest on

Thursday, April 21, 2016

I'm THE Boss

Lyla: Mom, where are you?!

Me: Right here…

Lyla: Are you kidding me?! Are you down stairs drinking your coffee???!!!!

Me: (cowering) Yes

Lyla: What!! I’m SO mad at you! You just left me up here with my brother and you’re drinking coffee!

Me: Well, you were playing so nice I didn’t want to interrupt you.

Lyla: Interrupt! You can’t just leave me with him to drink your coffee! (stomping down the stairs)

Me: It will be quick, I promise. Just wanted to drink it in peace while you were playing. Can you go back up with him for two more minutes so I can finish?

Lyla: WHAT! You have 300 sips left! It’s going to take forever!

Me: Nah, I’ll drink fast. Please?

Lyla: No way! YOU’RE the mom! I’m just the kid! He’s YOUR baby. You’re in charge. You are the boss! Not me! He’s not MY baby!

Me: I’m the boss?

Lyla: YES! You are the grownup and you’re the boss! You have to watch your kids!

Me: Really? Crap…

Lyla: UGH!!! (getting really antsy now). Mommy! He is your baby! You are the boss!

Me: Okay okay. So later today when I’m telling to do something, remember that, I’m the boss. Okay?

Lyla: (she rolls her eyes, stomps back up the stairs regretting the reminder she just gave me)

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Cars Suck and Silly Things that Make me Laugh

My daughter is on April break right now. I figured I’d take off a few days so we could have a long weekend doing some fun stuff. It was a nice thought.

The week before my four day weekend with the kids, I decided last minute to book a trip to the New Jersey shore. My parents wanted to scope out a beach house for the summer so I tagged along. I was envisioning a couple days swimming in a hotel pool and walking the beach with the kids. Time away from the monotony of day to day life. Some sun and sand and fun!

The day before we were to leave my son started puking and had a fever. The day we were leaving he was a bit better thankfully so we hit the road.

An hour into the trip my car died. On the highway.

An SUV with four adults, two children (plus car seats!) and an entire weekend of gear jam packed into it. Dead.

(Just think about that for a second.)

I was able to coast into a Dunkin Donut parking lot (thankfully) and we had to unload the kids and carseats while the car got towed leaving us stranded there with bagels for dinner until a very helpful family member came to pick us up. We then had to go to the towed car and jam pack all our gear into the other car - and yes reinstall car seats! Fun!

Hotel canceled (but still charged). Beach trip canceled. Vacation ruined.

We spent the weekend at my parents. Oh and I tried breaking into their house at one point and set off the alarm.

My children were driving me nuts, bummed about their lost trip so I left after day two to head home and stop at the beach. We lasted 45 minutes until one had to pee and the other had consumed way too much sand.

But we will prevail I told them! We will make lemonade out of lemons, Goddammit, if it kills me!

The next day we had a good day of hanging out, playing, and another hour at the beach. Not too bad! I even had a spontaneous date night with my daughter which was just what we needed.

Then I heard my car was actually dead and will cost a fortune to fix. So now I’m car less and broke. And all those vacation plans I was working on for the summer are dead as well.

And I woke up this morning to a screaming toddler and then spilled coffee all over me burning my boob. Seriously.

All I want to do is eat my feelings and give up on life. Talk about a downer.

I put on TV for the kids because I just wanted to shower in peace and think about things. In the shower, I was feeling really down. I was about to cry and then I remembered that it could be worse. Some bad luck can’t make me so miserable. It’s just a car. My toddler will grow and stop crying constantly.

Out of the blue, in the shower, I drew a penis on the glass door out of the condensation. I have NO idea why. Then I started laughing hysterically. So I drew another one. And then some boobs. I was laughing so hard, my child came from upstairs to check on me.

So misery, be damned. Tears, go away. Car, FU for messing up my vacation. I have my health, I have my kids, and I can draw penis’. And I can laugh it off and pray for better times ahead!
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