Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Leave my Daughter Alone Before I Punch You

Yesterday we were eating dinner. My five year old kindergartener says:

Mommy, today a boy told me and my friend to "shut the F up".

I dropped my fork shocked. Usually I was the one saying that. But my daughter knows she's not allowed to and knows it's not very nice.

Today when I dropped her off at school, I almost wanted to park and go in to tell the school they have asshole kids on the playground. Then I was going to have Lyla walk me into the little boy's class and point him out to me. Then I was going to put my face in his face and tell him if he ever talks to my daughter again like that he's going to walk funny for the rest of his life. And that I would also post his full name on social media so anyone who searched him for the rest of his life would see: My name is ____ and at 5 years old I told a little girl to shut the F up. I will have no successful future if I continue like this. Don't hire me if I have not changed. Then I was going to call his parents and blame them and out them to the whole school as bad parents.

Then someone behind me beeped in the drop off line and I woke up from my daydream. And I left well alone. Good mommy.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Stuck in Drafts

I have 3 posts in draft mode.

I have 6 books started including one pretty much done.

I have 2 short pieces for possible sale.

I have one entire story on my iPhone memo that I "wrote" while driving.

All in draft mode. All not finished. All waiting to be out in the world.

I have a life to organize. I have holidays a coming. I have a baby shower to run. I have a first birthday party in planning. I have work to do.

I'll be stuck in draft mode for a while.

Friday, November 06, 2015

Airport Musings

Traveling for work and observing... Man I LOVE people watching; especially at the airport.

Some musings:

Tall people have really big hands. REALLY big hands. This chick's hands covered her whole laptop. I have munchkin hands. Makes me want a big lollipop from munchkin land over by Oz. I'd say hi to Glenda the Good witch for you.

Everyone at the airport looks like someone I know for some reason. Seriously.

I just saw my reflection in the mirror and realized I looked like a homeless person. I took a pic but can't share it. It's that bad. And I did shower this morning. I need a stylist or a style. Or I need time or a personal assistant. Or something...

They also have really long forearms. Tall people. You with me? I literally just shrunk the size of my screen so lady longlegs didn't see me talking about her. She's pretty. Pretty LONG. Haha, I'm so going to hell. No really, she is a very pretty girl. Just next to me she looks long. I bet if she stands up, she'll be 5'8 or something. Not even that tall. I'm just a shrimp, that is the real problem. She is probably looking at me thinking I resemble a meatball. Eh, whatever.

There is a woman over there with shiny black pants. REALLY shiny. And a very shiny floral tight top  that is VERY loud. Oh and she's got cheetah print flats on that are furry. But she smells good. Thank goodness for that. Wow is she a sight!

I just had to move seats. There was someone around me with lethal smelling burps. I kept gagging. It was THAT bad. I got up and sat somewhere else. I couldn't take it anymore. Goodness... STANK!

I swear, I went to high school with that guy. Nope, maybe not. OMG, that is my cousin's husband. Nope, he lives in Florida, can't be Tony.

Everyone is lining up to board the plane. We are ALL getting on the plane, relax people. You can't fit your enormous "carry on" overhead anyways. Take a chill pill and sit down. Stop waiting in line. There is no line. People are annoying.

Oh they are calling my flight. I should shut down now... Toodles!

Update: Omg I got a pic!! 

Tuesday, November 03, 2015

Proud Parenting Moment

I have to take my daughter somewhere. Long story. Nothing bad...!

I reminded her today about it and I asked her how she'd behave.

She said: I'm going to be friendly, kind, and respectful.

I just watched her in awe as she, without being prompted, spouted out those three amazing adjectives.

When my daughter talks like that, it makes me so proud of her and of me. I have done something right. Being a mother is tough and there is always a fine line of having fun and being their friend as well as teaching them those three things.

If that is all I've taught her throughout the years, I feel my mission is accomplished. Being friendly, kind, and respectful will surely take her places.
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