Sunday, December 04, 2011

Yet Another Christmas Tree Story

I swear, I'm never going to have a normal Christmas tree shopping experience.  Ever.

Here I was so excited.  But I think I got myself too excited that I set myself up for disappointment.  So here is what happened (and believe me, I am not exaggerating in the least, I wish I were).

Shopping was just okay yesterday. Lyla decided to be kind of bratty so that sucked.  By the time we got in the car to go home and get Jared to make the tree shopping trip, it was pretty much nap time.  I had to get home and switch cars and install the car seat in the other car so I begged Lyla the whole way home to not fall asleep. Mind you I had told Jared that I should probably take the car we were taking to the tree farm in the morning so if Lyla fell asleep we would be fine to just switch cars and all would be well.  He didn't care about my over-extensive planning and wouldn't let me take the car as it was not "ready".  Whatever the hell that means.

Lyla was barely awake when we got home and I brought her in to have a sandwich (since she had rejected the lunch at the mall I'd given her.)  After I wiped the peanut butter from everywhere, we got in the car - me uber excited - and took off to Rhode Island.

Five minutes later, Lyla was screaming in the car.  We put on some music for her and tried to soothe her to sleep to no avail.  She never had problems sleeping in the car but decided today would be it.  The more she screamed, the more tired she became, the less excited I got, and more tense the trip became.  About 30 minutes later she was fast asleep and 20 minutes later, we were there.  But the husband decided to go to the wrong parking lot, get out, and ask a question.  Lyla immediately woke up and upon realizing she wasn't getting out of the car, the screaming commenced again.  I felt like the worst mother ever.

We pulled into the tree lot, The Farmer's Daughter in Rhode Island and I got excited again.  This was the tree farm we meant to go to last year (sigh).  I bundled Lyla up, Jared grabbed his camera and we tried to make our way.  Lyla began to cry again.  She was so tired and so cranky she just cried and cried.  We started walking, figured out the dealio, and Lyla became normal again.  She was walking on her own and following me to the field that is until she tripped and fell and the crying commenced again.  Lyla is such a girly girl that if she falls, she can't get up on her own cause that entail her to touch the ground and get dirty - oy vey...

Anyways we didn't go too far out and Jared found one he liked.  Unable to find one better in that immediate location we settled on it.  Some nice lady offered to take our photo; securing the one and only family photo of us in 6 months.  The one and only photo I was dying to have for use of our Christmas card but there was none available.  I can't even discuss my Christmas card debacle right now for fear of tears.

ANYWAYS, we got nice photo and Jared tried to take one of me and Lyla and she cried and screamed some more.  At that point, I was like, Jared, cut down the God damn tree and let's get the hell out of here! I was tired, cranky, and so disappointed at how the day was going.

Our lovely photos...

We got our tree bailed and on the car and then the fighting started again getting Lyla into the car seat.  We drove back over to the shop to pick out a wreath and I let Lyla loose to explore. She loved looking at all the trees they had decorated and was working on all her vocabulary.  That is until she had a temper tantrum not getting her way and we had to take off sans wreath.

Again, the screaming started.  The whole. Way. Home.  The only thing that stopped the crying was singing Jingle Bells - which we did about 700 times.  

Fast forward to today and I finally got to put the tree up. Jared brought it in and I was going to decorate with Lyla.  I couldn't get the tree straight and Jared said it looked fine. So we left it.  I started putting on the lights while we jammed to some Christmas music.  As soon as I plugged it in, of course, half of them are dead. I know, I should have tested them, but I forgot a few strands.  UGH!  I was so pissed and Jared insisted on fixing it. I bet him that I could go to the store, buy new ones, and get back before he could fix it.  But he got all flustered and couldn't fix them.  So off I went to Wal-Mart to buy all new lights.  $50 later, (wtf!), I had 7 strands of LED, energy star lights.  

It took me forever to get all the lights off. I threw them off the tree, stomped around like a baby all frustrated at the entanglements while crying how this is SUPPOSED to be so much fun!  Lyla and Jared were just watching me be a madwoman.

Finally I got the new lights on and we started to decorate.  Lyla immediately broke one of my favorite ornaments as she dropped a toy on it.  But whatever.  She could care less about the tree and was just wandering around the house wondering what the heck was going on.  I put her to bed and kept decorating; trying my hardest to enjoy it.  When dinner was ready, I sat down and looked at the tree from afar.  But instead of saying "beautiful" to myself, I was depressed.  It was crooked, totally full of holes, and the 7 strands of lights was not enough.  My tree sucked.  I started crying over dinner (for a number of reasons, not only tree issues) and Jared thought me a freak.  

So now I'm here blogging at 10pm at night when I'm supposed to be: A. finishing the tree, B. decorating the house.  C. catching up with work, D. finishing a project and E. sleeping.

What a weekend.  Next year we may just buy a fake...

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