Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Naked

Today I feel naked.  In fact, I've felt naked for the past 2 days.  I'm wearing clothes, socks, and shoes.  I have hair covering my head.  My signature pearl earrings, I'm always wearing and my simple gold chain with my heart and cross charms.  But there is something missing.  

For five years I've had something special on my finger.  Every time I looked down at it, I would remember how much I'm in love with my husband.  Whether he just completely made me angry, threatened to eat all my dill pickle chips, or if we're arguing, looking at my finger calms me and reminds me.  It reminds me of the vows we took, how Jared made is vows rhyme ever so cutely, and how it is a symbol of our love.

On my finger is a symbol of all that we have been through together as a couple.  From struggling so badly early on, making ends meet no matter what we had to do, and that one moment when I said yes to spend my life with him.

I am so proud of this symbol that I wear it all the the time and never take it off.  In fact I have an indent around my finger, scarred for life at the reminder of our symbol of love.  I feel naked today because I'm not wearing my wedding ring.  My finger is missing something so vitally important to me.  Every minute I look down or try to feel for it and it's not there.  It's just a ring but I feel naked, not whole.

I'll miss my wedding ring for the next few weeks while the fix the loose stone.  I'll miss it so much I'll try to wear every other ring I have to try and temporarily replace it.  To fill the void.  To help me feel more secure.  To hide my indented finger.  To help me when I'm upset or sad when I look down at my finger and see the symbol of our love.

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