I was in Vegas all week this past week. Every time I go to this city, which has been quite often lately, I see something new. I love that. Granted every time I go is for business so I don't get much, if any free time to do exploring. I stayed at the Mirage for one night where I had meetings and then at Mandalay Bay for the rest of the week during a conference I was attending. Because I frequent Vegas often and because I'm usually telling the participants of my events all about Vegas and things to do and see, I have to obviously be nice and only say serious stuff. It's my job. However I'm putting together a list of BEWARE in Vegas for those who want go:
1. Vegas hotels are huge. After a long day of traveling, you finally get to check into your hotel and then guess what? You're given that fabulous room key where you can't wait to drop your bags and start the fun! You listen to the front desk person's directions as to where the elevators are but not entirely because you're too excited. She also provides you with a map while hastily circling things and drawing lines. You figure, how hard can it be to find elevators and your room? HARD!! Some of these hotels are infamous for winding you through their casino floors, around restaurants, into stores, up trees, through fountains and strip clubs before getting to that elevator. BEWARE and PAY attention. My advice? Give your luggage to the bellman and only take your essentials. Half heartedly try to find the elevators and it's not a big deal when you get distracted by the "Wheel of Fortune" slot machine right in front of you. You know you'll find it eventually, right?
2. Hallways are never ending. Once you do find that elevator, make sure you've got a bottle of water. After choosing the proper elevator, (right, I forgot to mention that there are usually 4-5 elevators that are there to chose from so you better know what floor you're on), you're whisked away and dropped off at this beautiful common area. You look left, right, front and behind you. Then you turn around again. Is this a mirage or is there a mirror right there, or is this really a hallway?? You guessed it! That is a hallway. If you were smart, the bellman has your bag. You look at the numbers and decide that your room should be left. You better double check your math because who wants to do 4 miles today instead of just 2? I suggest you do a few stretches and limber up those joints. Take a few swigs of water. If you were smart you got a six pack of beer hoping to pass out before making it with the desire that fate will drop you off at your room door. You start off on your quest and hope you’ll have the energy to make it through. Room 14300, 14302, 14304. You look at the note the front desk gave you. Your room is 14688 and this hallway is dedicated to 14300-14700. You’re all the way at the end, you can feel it. How will you make it back every day after all the drinking and gambling? How will you carry all your shopping bags back and forth? You start to wonder how bad you’ll start to smell if you only come back once every 3 days. Finally after 15 minutes, you’re starting to fade. All that traveling is catching up to you. You stop for a water break, take a few minutes and then continue on with your journey. Then you hear this wonderful noise behind you. It’s something with wheels. You turn around and there, low and behold is the bellman with your suitcase. You want to jump for joy but are too tired to think about what joy is with jumping for. Or how that is a play on words or an alliteration or how you’re too tired to think of your high school English class ten years ago, or was that 14 years ago. Anyway, you’re just about to ask him for a lift on his cart, you’re going to promise him a big tip when he runs right by you like he’s in a marathon. You are too dumbfounded to speak and by the time you can say something he is so far ahead of you he’s decreased to an inch tall. You hold your hand over your eyes to block out an imaginary sun that you think may make you see him better and wonder, is that how far I have left?
Finally, 20 minutes later you collapse on room 14688. With such a huge victory you can only let out a very tiny “yay” because of the lack of energy left to you. You get into your room and head straight for the window to make sure you have the incredible view you asked for. Only to be looking over a construction site full of cranes and men in hard hats giving you the thumbs up. Only in Vegas…
What do I recommend? When you check in, ask for a room near the elevator. I’d prefer it to be a bit noisier than walk 30 miles a day after a long day, don’t you agree?
3. The largest slot machines never pay up. They may look cool and really invite you to join them in their coolness but trust me all the times the beckon me to pull their ginormous lever, they never give me one matching line...what the heck! Don’t play the big slots – I mean the oversize ones.
4. Shows in Vegas are worth it to see. I’ve seen three and they all happed to be last week. I think they were all wonderful and entertaining however make sure you read up the ones you want to go to, make sure you feel it’s worthwhile to spend over $100 on 1 ½ hours on entertainment, and if you’re going to see Zumanity, leave the kids at home…
5. “Wheel of Fortune” is deadly. That spin button is the devil. Steer clear. Need I say more…
6. Upon arriving or departing into McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas, you’ll notice there is gambling as soon as you walk off the plane. People, people, control yourselves. You are in Las Vegas for crying out loud. Every where you go there is gambling. Don’t waste your time in the airport. Do you honestly think they are going to let you leave there a millionaire??
7. Do you like bunnies? Do you like naked girls while you’re peeing? Then I recommend you to check out the Playboy Club at Palms. I got a tour of it last week and wow, I’ve always wanted check out some hot titties while I was going potty.
8. On that note, I’ll also warn you of the girls. I being a very conservative woman, find that Vegas attracts many non-conservative women. Enough said there…
9. Tipping is another thing that is common in all hotels but in Vegas it’s crazy because every where you go is a hotel. I’m very annoyed with this phenomenon. Back in the day – I can’t really say this being only 26 years old but I like to anyway – a majority of the tipping took place at restaurants. Waitresses – I being one of them – receive a pittance salary so they pretty much live off of tips. So I ask you this, do people who scoop our ice cream make pittance salaries like waitresses (2.54/hour)? How about the woman who clean our hotel rooms, bring our luggage up, hail our cabs, cut our hair, etc.? Do they all make that kind of salary? I don’t think so. So why is it normal for us to tip ALL these people? I’m so sick of this. I don’t think I should be tipping. They are paid enough money to do this service, it is their job. If waiters/waitresses were paid enough, I wouldn’t’ tip them either. I don’t get tipped to do my job. But wait a minute, I should. I do my job well so I deserve a tip. I feel like everyone else wants one, so why should I get one. I think tipping has gotten OUT OF HAND in our country. When in Vegas last week, I think I spent over 200 dollars on tipping and cabs. That is ridiculous. START PAYING YOUR PEOPLE MORE MONEY PEOPLE, SO I CAN STOP GIVING THEM MORE OF MINE!!!
10. Just a warning, don’t be shocked when you see a bride around every corner in Vegas. It’s fun but it’s crazy!!
That’s all I can think of now but I know I’ll have more later. Stay tuned for more Vegas tips and BEWARES.
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