I Just Lost My Shit...

...and it's only Monday.

I shouldn't be surprised when my one year old climbs out of the play yard during my 20 minute conference call.

I can't rely on a five year old to babysit.

I can't totally lose it when the five year old doesn't watch the one year old.

I shouldn't freak out when the one year old is on the bed jumping while simultaneously throwing diapers all over the floor.

I should try to stay calm while on the phone with a client and my five year old is yelling at the top the of the stairs, "I can't control him!"

I definitely should not try to explain to a five year old why mommy has to work or we can't own this home or pay for things if mommy doesn't work.

I most definitely shouldn't be mad at her when she's not listening to me about watching her brother because again, she's five.

It's time for my son to go to daycare, only part time for now so he can hang with other little people. And so I can get work done and he's safe. It's time and it's a good thing. But then why am I crying?

I just lost my shit. Frustrated, angry, fuming, happy, guilty, and then sad in the matter of 5 minutes. At least I'm not the only working mom out there.