Monday, May 10, 2010

Days and Nights all the Same

It's been a week since I've been a mom.  I already can't keep track of days vs nights vs anything.  Time is going by so fast and my Lyla is a week and 2 days old.  It's been a rough week for sure because having a newborn with you at all times is no picnic.  I'm constantly worrying she's not breathing, not eating, or cold. I hate her to leave my side for a minute (and when her dad took her for a walk for an hour, I cried hysterically when she came home worried about her).  I'm so damn emotional I cry just thinking about how I'm crying all the time.  I know this is totally  normal but I feel like a freak.  

I don't feel able to let my baby be taken from me to just sit somewhere.  I've found myself able to multitask like a champ while she's in my arms.  It's better that then let her sit by herself.  People tell me I'm going to spoil her that it's not healthy.  Well, she's under 6 pounds and totally freaking helpless.  If you don't think I'm going to cuddle her and give her all the attention I can, you're crazy.  When she's bigger and doing more things on her own, I'll relax a bit.  

Eventually I'm going to chill out and have a routine to my life.  But I'm not in any rush.  I'm just enjoying spending as much time with Lyla as I can.  Even if it's just sitting on my couch staring at her all afternoon.

2 comments:

Jess Williams said...

You hold that baby ALL DAY long if you want to! I know it feels like you "shouldn't" be doing that, but the BEST thing you can do for yourself and for Lyla is to do exactly what feels right!

I was exactly the same way with Bradley, and I had two babies before him! :) And believe it or not, even when she is still "helpless" in a few weeks or months, you'll be able to put her down and walk out of the room without having a panic attack. I promise. But get to that point on your own terms and in your own time!

You're doing just fine.

Mem said...

I came here to say exactly what Jess said, so I won't bother repeating it word for word. :)

I'll just add this: there is NO SUCH THING as spoiling a newborn. Hold her, kiss her, wear her, sleep with her, nurse her, hug her, bathe her, hold her some more. That's exactly what you were meant to do. You have a lifetime to worry about discipline and spoiling. The next 12 months are not the time.

Just enjoy it all because it really does go way too fast!!

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