Friday, May 07, 2010

New Beginnings with Lyla

I am a mother. Yes, it's official! Lyla Clara Melanie Ford was born on May 1, 2010 at 3:54 a.m. weighing 6 lbs and 10 oz and 21 inches long.

I don't really want to get into all the gory details of my birth story but it's important I write it down so I never forget it. I won't add too much gore! I've been sitting here trying to write this since we came home  but have been unable to. The whole experience was so emotionally overwhelming and wonderful that I didn't want to face writing about it stirring those all up again. But here I am trying to put into the words what Jared and I just went through this past weekend. The event that has changed our lives for the good.

Thursday, April 29, 2010:
Lyla was due to be born on April 25 but since she went past that date, my doctor scheduled me to be induced on Friday, April 30 in case she didn't arrive yet. I was against being induced because I wanted her to come when she was ready. But because of my health history and the doc's concern for my health history, Friday was the last day I was going to go.

On Thursday, I showed up for my usual non stress test in the morning. Funnily enough I did not shave my legs or bring my bag with me. I figured if I did, I'd jinx myself. I had been hoping I'd go into labor by Thursday but no such luck. At my non stress test, the nurse scare me because she was watching closely. Turns out the baby's heart beat was much more irregular than it had been every week for weeks. She kept me on the monitor a bit longer and then went to show the doctor. She came in saying, they are keeping me to induce today. I panicked worried about the baby but they assured me she was going to be okay. I called Jared who was still home and told him he was not going to work today.

Once I got admitted, they put me on the monitor to watch the baby some more. This was good because it gave Jared to pack up the car and make his hour trip to the hospital. I was sitting there all alone in the hospital worried sick about the baby, scared beyond belief for labor, and starving. Once you're admitted, no food or water was their policy.

I was not having any contractions and they informed me I was not dilated at all. So in other words I was going to be there a while. They started the pitocin IV drip to induce labor and I was off. The pain was not bad at all and after 12 hours, I was still not dilated at all. Jared and I were tired, I was still starving. My mom and sister came up to keep us company and we pretty much just sat there waiting for this baby.

By midnight, it'd been 12 hours and still no progress so they told me I could shower, eat, and they'd try something to soften my cervix. I was grateful to get some food, get clean and shave (yes I totally did!). They gave me the softener and I started a long night of no contractions, minor pain, and lots of doctor interruptions. Since I had not been sleeping at all since a few nights I was so tired but still not sleeping.

Friday, April 30, 2010:
Friday morning I woke up screaming in pain. The cervix softener had worked and although I was not having contractions still, the pain caused by that thing was crazy. I had no plans for my labor. I wanted to just go with the flow. I was dealing okay with no pain meds and when my doc saw me 24 hours after we started, I was still 1 centimeters dilated and still had a long way to go. He told me we should have progressed further at this point.

I was worried, frustrated, and ready to have this baby already. He told me he wanted me to get an epidural to help with pain so I could focus more on progressing. I was very hesitant and really didn't want to do the epidural. We thought about it, considered all our options and I decided to get it. When the man came in to do it, I told him I have been through so much medically but I was more scared of this than any of that.  It took only a few minutes but the epidural was in and I was on my way to progressing.  My water broke shortly after - although it just felt like I'd peed my pants.  Not the nicest feeling in the world...

Pretty soon I was three centimeters dilated and excited things were moving along.  My contractions got stronger and harder and by 7pm that night, I was 8 centimeters and almost ready to start pushing.

At the same time, my upper back started to throb.  We are still usure what happened but it could have been the way I was laying, the way the baby was sitting on a certain nerve or whatever.  But I was in so much pain in the back of my shoulders and upper back I was hysterically crying.  They ruled out problems with the epidural and we tried to focus the pain away.  The nurses got the room ready for me to push, my family left me and Jared to do this on our own, and our little girl was closer than ever before.  I could not wait to meet her finally!

I started pushing and things were not going well.  My back was making it impossible for me to do things as best as I could.  I worked through the pain and  after an hour we took a break.  I was not progressing well and they wanted me to rest some.  Then the pain go so much worse.  My contractions were giving me some pain but the the back pain was 100 times worse.  They knew I could not push out this baby like this.  We had no idea what as going on and I was really upset.  My doctor recommended some more pain meds and I really didn't want to go there.  I was so worried about the baby but they said she was okay.  She had to come out and I couldn't do it with this pain.  At this point it's about 10 pm and nothing is happening.  I agreed to let them give me a small dose of something but it did not work. It made me drowsy, paranoid, and totally hysterical.  At this point I was babbling to the doctors about how I was going to die because they gave me too much, Jared was freaking out because of my state, and the nurse thought I was a maniac.  It was not my shining moment for sure...

Thirty minutes later, I told the nurse I wanted to push more.  I got a spurt of energy and pushed my heart out despite the intense back pain.  The nurse was worried though, said the baby was not coming down.  Panic mode set in as she brought in reinforcements.  Turns out they thought the head was too big.  She was just not going to fit.  Jared and I had no idea what was going on.  Every time a nurse changed shift she would note that I had a big baby in there.  But we honestly didn't think she was that big.  But maybe she was...

It was after midnight and Lyla was still not out.  The doctor said it was time for surgery.  She was just not going to fit.  I was really upset because I was most afraid it'd come to this.  We really had no choice.  She had to come out and she was just not fitting.  We reluctantly agreed and we were prepped for surgery.  By the time things were ready, all the doctors were available, I was wheeled in after 2 am.

Jared looked totally adorable in his scrubs might I add.  We were exhausted and nervous as they took me to the room.  When they strapped me down to the board I screamed in pain.  The back pain was not subsiding.  I could not catch my breath, I could not move, and I was in so much pain I wanted to die right there.  I couldn't stop shaking so they told me if I was not okay they'd have to put me out. If that happened Jared couldn't be there.  I refused to be out when my baby came into this world so I sucked it up.

It had been 38 hours of labor at this point and I wanted to meet my daughter already.  After waiting for surgery for what seemed like forever, I was given the medicine and I heard them note the time of incision.  Just then Jared came in and sat with me. I was overly emotional and was so nervous.  He held my hand and rubbed my head.  When they got the baby out, she did not cry at first so we panicked.  Then she cried and Jared and both started sobbing.  It was of the most terrifying and exciting moments of my life.  Jared saw her being brought over to the table.  They took our camera to get a shot of her and then once she was cleaned up, she was put in his arms.  The tears just took off and we were overwhelmed with love for our daughter.  Once I was sewed up, they brought me to a room and Jared and Lyla were waiting for me.

She was 6 lbs and 10 oz.   Not too big at all.  What happened was she got stuck at the pelvic bone.  The docs said there was no way she would have been able to dislodge and come out vaginally.  I was just happy she was healthy and here.  I was grateful to my family for being there all night with us.  They waited to see Lyla and it was well worth the wait.

Saturday, May 1, 2010:

Lyla was born on this date at 3:54 in the morning.  May Day has a whole new meaning for us.  It's the day God delivered us the most beautiful baby girl.  We spent 4 days in the hospital getting used to Lyla and letting her meet relatives.  We are so blessed with all the love and support we had over the whole nine months and most importantly during labor and delivery.  Everyone's well wishes and concern were incredibly generous and we couldn't feel more appreciative.

Right now we are not sleeping at all but she's worth it.  Nursing is very challenging but again totally worth it.  We're just plugging along and enjoying our bundle of love.

I've made a blog for Lyla so all our friends and family can keep up to date with her growing up.  Check it out here.  


Carolyn May said...

This is such a beautiful story. You will be so thankful you wrote it all down while it was fresh in your mind because it's amazing how quickly you forget all the minor details you want to remember forever!

Good luck on the nursing, you can do it! :)

MaryBeth said...

What a fantastic birth story! You'll be so glad that you took the time to write it all down.

I hope you truly take time to heal and rest; your body needs it.

And Carolyn is right: you CAN do the nursing. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. There are lots of resources and friends who can give you pointers. Nursing is hard work. Screw anyone who says anything different. But if you work at it without stressing over it, you can do it for as long as you and Lyla want. :)

Thanks for sharing your story, Jessie. It was healing for me to read.

Lots of love.

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