If

Lately I've been playing the what if game.  With returning to work looming full speed ahead, I find myself wondering if...

If I won the lottery today I'd quit my job and be a full time writer.  I could spend my days taking care of Lyla and writing to my heart's content.  Jared would quit his job too and start the business he's been trying too for years.  I'd pay off all my bills and make my house even more of a dream house.  I'd donate money to cancer research because that disease needs to cease to exist.  I'd also throw huge balls every year to help find a cure in the name of all my friends and family members who have dealt with cancer.  I would go to the store and buy at least one thing I want without looking at the price tag.  I'd own a vacation home in London so I could travel with ease to most of Europe and visit our family there whenever we want.  I'd spend at least two months a year traveling the world to hit up the places I've always dreamt of seeing.  I would hire someone to do all my household cleaning and other chores so I could spend all of my time with my family.  

My plans are all made, dreams listed out, and now all I have to do is play to win...

I find myself thinking that money is the key to getting whatever you want.  Not just "things" but having a life that is run by what you want and need, and not run by what needs to be done to get by.  But I know better.  If we won the lottery we'd be miserable as well.  Where do you draw the line in helping friends and family out financial-wise and how can you cope with getting everything you want without sacrificing character.  I wouldn't want to change.  Money would not change me I hope but sometimes I'd like to get those things I mentioned without a huge lump of money.  I want my cake and to eat it too.

If only things were easy.  If only life weren't a struggle to survive and only a joy to live.  If only.