These are Days...

I really am trying to work...

2012-01-27T10:52:00.000-05:00

But my daughter is too freaking cute. She took LaLa the teletubby from my parents house last night (coincidentally it was mine from my high school days I'm ridiculous to admit - and Jared did make fun of me, okay?)

She has taken everyting out of her crib and is putting LaLa to sleep over and over again. Including laying it down, singing it a song, rubbing its belly, kissing, and saying "sleep" over and over again.

It's so stinking cute!

Words Cannot Describe...

2012-01-26T22:29:00.000-05:00

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2012-01-25T09:35:00.000-05:00

Today I am grateful! And here is why...

It's only 9am and I've already: got my work out in, showered, took Lyla to school, and am currently cooking my lunch so it's ready. Yay for me!
For TV! I haven't had time or have been much in to TV in a long time but lately I'm loving some new TV shows: United States of Tara (on Netflix), Friday Night Lights (on Netflix), Glee (on Netflix), Once Upon a Time (ABC), Parenthood (NBC), Revenge (ABC), and some British shows on Netflix. I am obsessed with my new current shows and I'm loving Netflix while I work out. Yay for TV! (Can't believe I'm watching so much of it!)
Downton Abbey season 2! Another TV show which is on PBS and Netflix. If you haven't seen it, check it out. It's awesome!
A fun party with my girls soon at my house (next month!)
A full day to work without worrying about Lyla. She's at school with her boyfriend Carter and painting. She said it, not me!
Pineapple fried rice; what we had for dinner last night and there are leftovers!
Hanging out with friends.
That the snow melted!
My hubby who is so helpful lately.
My daughter who is loving school which makes my life so much easier.

Working Mom Mondays - When your luck runs out

2012-01-23T09:11:00.003-05:00

Ever since we became parents, Jared and I have been lucky. We both ~~have~~ had flexible jobs allowing us a lot more time than most parents with our child. Imagine waking up each morning and instead of rushing around getting ready for work, we got to lounge around in our jammies and cuddle with our daughter a little longer. We got to watch her reach all her milestones while we worked from home.

It was the perfect situation. Jared got two days at home and I was home 4 days a week. Granted we were both working during this time but it was working from a laptop on the floor of our daughter's room. She was rolling around or reading books and we were responding to emails and getting things done. It was quite the life until Lyla got too big. She started requiring more attention and wanted to play. We knew she was growing up and needed interaction with other kids her age; meanwhile my workload picked up as did the amount of conference calls I had. Conference calls with screaming toddlers = mass havoc. So last fall we decided to start school. At first the one day a week went great. Lyla loved going there and proudly waved goodbye to me after I dropped her off. She was the little social butterfly of the joint and her eyes lit up upon arrival.

Soon afterwards, we decided she needed two days a week and has been going two days a week since December. It was just harder and harder for me to get work done and as much as I felt guilty about it, it was necessary and better for her in the long run. We got down to a schedule that was perfect:

Mondays - Lyla is at school

Tuesdays - Lyla is home with daddy

Wednesdays - Lyla is at school

Thursdays - Lyla is home with mommy and daddy

Fridays - Lyla is at home with mommy

We both got one quality day with Lyla, she got her groove on at school, and meanwhile we were both able to get work done.

Fast-forward to last week when Jared's work decided he no longer has the privilege to work from home due to a new company-wide policy. I promise to not say anything bad about this but my sourness is there, my anxiety and anger is here, and the steam blowing out of my nose and ears is real. And here is where I'll go all postal on you: EVERYTHING IS RUINED NOW! Sob! Sigh! Sob!

I can't stay home with Lyla three days a week because my work is so demanding currently and it's not fair to Lyla. So one more day to school she goes. Three days a week my poor child will be away from me.

I have been lucky! I have had more time with my daughter than most working moms. But I want it all and I can't have it. Our luck has run out and I'm so sad about it. I did not have a child so that someone else could raise her. I had a child so I could be there for all her milestones, to teach her her ABCs, and be there when she needed me. I cannot be a stay at home mom despite my desire to be so this will just have to be the way it is. And when I'm stressed out and crying each day I'm home with her because I'm not getting any work done, I will be forced to be grateful I have her the two days I do.

Sometimes parenthood is just cruel and sometimes I'm just very selfish. I want my daughter close to me while I'm working hard to save for her college fund. This new scenario at our home just goes to prove you can't have it all and to be grateful for what you have. Things they are a changing for us but we will get through it and Lyla will not be scarred for life. Me on the other hand, I'm not so sure...

(For the record, I do realize this is a very minor dealio in the scheme of things. Most people have actual problems in this world and my life is not so bad. Sometimes it just feels good to complain and get it out. I do realize I'm grateful for what I've had and what I still have. And it's still a lot better than what most people have.)

Cookies!

2012-01-21T09:04:00.003-05:00

Last night I decided at 8:30pm to make chocolate chip cookies. For no particular reason other than I wanted some cookie dough. I decided to use this recipe which I had been dying to try for a while. I wanted to see if adding pudding mix really made the cookies more moist. And boy was I not disappointed!

I ate so much of this dough I could barely eat a cookie when done.

The cookies were amazing! So moist and I will definitely use this recipe again. However it needs a pinch of salt and less chocolate chips. Then it will be perfect.

They were still soft and moist this morning as I downed 4 for breakfast ;)

Nap time Hardships

2012-01-20T13:35:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness! My daughter is not doing nap time. Only 2 days this week she has napped. I am going to lose my mind if I don't get a nap time. Help! Any tips, advice, anything?!

Reminiscing

2012-01-19T09:53:00.001-05:00

This post just came up on my blog. It made me cry.

As amazing as it seems, my love has only grown more. I still need a new word. And to stop squeezing my child so tight because I am so in love.

Love you forever

2012-01-18T19:57:00.001-05:00

My mom bought this book for Lyla. When I first read it, I thought it was borderline creepy yet sad as well. I decided to read it to Lyla before bed tonight.

Sappy love story + tiredness + burning eyes + the fact that I'm getting old and my daughter is growing up so fast = niagara falls.

I started sobbing while trying to finish the book and Lyla was just looking at me like, huh?

So if you're looking for a nice gift to give a new mom or just a book for some little munchkin you love, I highly recommend it. And the whole stalking your kid while they are grown up with a ladder on your car is okay after all.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2012-01-18T08:13:00.001-05:00

(the sarcastic addition)

Today I'm grateful I have eyes and that I spend my entire day using them on a monitor. I am grateful that my eyes are burning up, stinging, and leaking and have been for the past few days. I'm so thankful that my eyes are still available to work despite said problems. I am thankful that the burning pain seems not to fix itself forcing me to try harder and harder to concentrate.

I am also thankful because of said eye issue my eyes won't open all the way and I'm constantly tired because of it. But at least I can still see even in the pain. I am thankful I have tissue boxes all over the house to capture the running tears. And I'm thankful I can easily fake cry without hesitation which may be useful with the hubby this week.

I am thankful that I have a great eye doctor who I will be calling first thing this morning to get this eye fungus issue crap figured out. My eyes are really pissing me off but I'm thankful.

Smarty Pants

2012-01-17T19:57:00.001-05:00

Our daughter is smart. Maybe a little too smart for her own good.

Lately when she goes to bed, she likes to sing and talk for a bit. We're fine with this unless it lasts for longer than it should.

Last night was one of those nights. After more than a half hour, she was still talking or yelling for that matter and banging her feet. Jared decided to go up and tell her to go to sleep. Now, Lyla is scared of Jared. He is the disciplinary in this house which I'm fine with. She won't listen to me like she does to him.

As soon as Jared started walking up the stairs, it was quiet in the monitor. Jared said something that I didn't hear and then came back down laughing. He said as soon as he walked in the room, she laid right down on her belly and started to pretend snore.

I couldn't believe that she was smart enough to pretend to be sleeping. At 1! I'm terrified for what she'll be doing when she's 15!

Coloring everywhere

2012-01-13T12:03:00.001-05:00

I am not annoyed actually I find it liberating. So rebellious. I'm sure that won't last...

culprit

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2012-01-11T16:06:00.000-05:00

OMG! It's 4pm and I've not done this blog post yet. Yikes! It's the first time I've stopped to breath all day in you don't count the 5 minutes I took earlier to slam a salad down my throat and I mean slam!

Today I'm grateful. There, done. Next week I'm sure I'll have something more wise and heroic to say but for now that's it.

Happy Wednesday night!

Heaven

2012-01-10T07:59:00.001-05:00

I'm in heaven.

Working Mom Mondays - the sicky

2012-01-09T10:00:00.001-05:00

My 2012 has been pure laziness so far. Really. I have no motivation to do anything including writing or blogging. Sorry about that. Sometimes when I feel I have so much I have to do it gets me lazy and then the things I want to do suffer.

This past weekend has been a total washout with Lyla sick. She has a pretty bad cold and yes just threw up a little bit in my hand. That should gross me out, right? But it doesn't. In fact all weekend as I didn't get any sleep, had buggers all over me, and a sick child clinging to me all waking hours of the day I had this overwhelming desire to have more children. I find that odd.

Last night as the clothes piled up, the toys lay everywhere, and my to-do list chock full of work I decided, screw it!

I filled up our jacuzzi tub (that we hardly use ever) with warm water, threw in some green bubble bath, and stripped me and Lyla down for some bath time fun. We sat in there and we laughed together. I put the jets on and that made the bubbles rise up right under Lyla's chin. She couldn't smile big enough. We sat in there playing and singing until the water got cold and our skin was ultra pruny. We rinsed off the bubbles in the shower and then got on our jammies. It was so much fun and just what we needed to end a long miserable weekend.

After a few nights of barely sleeping, Lyla slept for 14 straight hours last night; which also means I got some quality shut eye. I guess that that was just what we needed. Now as I sit here and try to work, with my still sick child clinging on to me, I feel my throat getting scratchy. I am so not ready to be sick, again. Let's just hope it passes me by.

In the mean time, I'm going to try my best to get work done today with my little sicky. I'll watch way more Sesame Street and Barney than I'd like to or want her to and we'll just have to cuddle a lot. That's fine by me.

Doghouse

2012-01-07T13:12:00.002-05:00

I am in it, for sure. In my haste last night, I put the brand new, jumbo size Tide detergent in our laundry room on top of the washing machine; totally forgetting it was running.

Fast forward to this morning. Jared just dared me to go take a look. The bottle fell during the spin cycle, obviously, and the cap broke. The entire bottle spilled on the floor and pooled under the washing machine. It seeped into our carpet and ruined the pad under the washing machine.

I'm not perfect but sometimes I'm just stupid. Oops! Jared cleaned up the whole mess because I didn't know how to work the steam vac; which pissed him off even more. I'm currently trying to be his slave for the day and do whatever and I hope that by tomorrow he'll be normal again. I can see the crimson shade on his face slowly getting lighter and the steam has stopped coming out of his ears. Now only if the nostrils will close a bit...

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2012-01-04T09:36:00.001-05:00

Today I'm grateful for:

Working from home. (all the junk food I've eaten from Christmas is silently attacking me now on my face and I feel like a teenager again with all my pimples!) Let's just hope they are gone before my work meetings tomorrow...
Lyla. I just love her despite the trouble she gives me!
My husband who lately has been doing all the laundry, all the cooking, and cleaning. Boy, I hate that he's back to work today...
Chocolate. I heart chocolate.
I'm thankful for friends and family.
I'm grateful for my electric blanket. I couldn't imagine being cold when I sleep and am so grateful I am not.
For warm soup! Jared has been making soups lately; baked french onion, split pea and ham. YUM!
Technology and being able to share things so easily.
For holidays and vacation time.
For a new year and making a better me.

Trouble maker?

2012-01-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

All of a sudden it's very quiet. I'm sitting in my office while Lyla is playing (supposedly). But it's too quiet. I get up wondering what trouble she's getting into. I look in the living room and don't find her. Then I see something run by the top of the stairs. She climbed up the stairs. She know she's not supposed to.

She comes to the top of the stairs and I give her a disapproving look. She grins.

I say: Are you supposed to climb the stairs by yourself?

I get one of those "I know I'm in trouble but I don't care" smirks.

I repeat: Are you supposed to climb the stairs by yourself?

She says: No!

I say: Then why did you?

She says: Cause

And then she runs off.

It has begun...

Sweet

2012-01-02T10:08:00.004-05:00

Happy Happy!

2012-01-02T08:11:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! I hope all of my readers have a prosperous and happy 2012. 2012, ahh! Time is flying by! This blog and my writing should be back to its normally scheduled program very soon. Still so much to do and I have had not had too much time off from work.

I hope to post some more Christmas photos and stories soon.

I forgot

2011-12-20T20:59:00.001-05:00

I've been forgetting a lot of things lately. But I had this great blog post in my mind and now it's gone. Ugh.

I also forgot that I was baking lemon squares for Jared. But instead of baking them, I put them in the pan to "cool" and forgot to bake them. Oops... (I'll never hear the end of it from Jared, for sure.)

So anyways this blog sucks lately and I'll see you after Christmas as I take a blogcation for a few days.

Merry Christmas from me and my family!

Stuffed chicken Marsala

2011-12-18T20:00:00.001-05:00

It's what's for dinner- and will be making me fat!!

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-12-14T10:45:00.001-05:00

Today I'm grateful for:

That Lyla is at school today.
That I didn't fall asleep on my way bringing Lyla to school today.
That the Plain White Ts album made Lyla stop screaming in the car on the way to school today.
That I was able to muscle Lyla in the car to bring her to school today.
That I was fast enough to get her dressed, her coat, and shoes on while she was screaming so I could get her to school today.
That I was able to bribe her with Sesame Street for 10 minutes this morning to make her stop screaming so I could get dressed to bring her to school today.
That I only had a minor head ache from the screaming Lyla did in her crib for the 2nd time this morning before I brought her to school today.
That I was slightly awake and remember Lyla laying on my floor alternately crying and sleeping at 6am before she went to school today.
That at 5:30am Lyla decided to wake up and snuggle in bed with me for a few minutes before she started a screaming fit before she went to school today.
That Lyla is at school today.

Working Mom Mondays - Make Believe

2011-12-12T09:07:00.000-05:00

My daughter just discovered the world of make believe. It is the most precious thing. She goes into her kitchen and makes me dinner. Comes over with a bowl and spoon for me to try it. I eat it up and then tell her I want more so she goes and makes more. She "picks" something off the table and feeds it to her pal Grover.

I don't know if I showed her this when I was playing with her or if she learned it from school but whatever it is it's adorable. Kids are so honest and naive. They live in a world where their lives are about fun, learning, and playing. They don't have worries and have such a vivid imagination. I am just fascinated with it. I watch Lyla doing what she's doing and it is so silly yet so creative.

For one and a half, she is incredibly smart; I like to think she's smarter than any other kid. But Lyla is not just book smart, she is just smart. She can name her animals and make their sounds, she can almost sing the ABCs and jingle bells, she can count to 3, she evens says her name when you ask her what it is, and follow almost every command we give her. But Lyla can also build a tower with her blocks, play pretend in the kitchen, she can pick up her baby and the bottle, feed her, and then burp her. She can "read" books and has figured out how to turn her toys on and off. Her new favorite thing, thanks to her dad, is to put her blankie over her head and walk around like a ghost. She is well trained and knows what she can and can't do around the house. We have never put up gates or baby proofed our house. She has learned and follows the rules. I couldn't ask for a better kid, really.

But what really gets me is her imagination. Her world of make believe. I'm just dazzled by her smarts and creativity. Every day she surprises me with more. I am the luckiest mom because I have a great kid. I just hope she holds on to that creativity and imagination all through life.

Rants and Conversations this week

2011-12-09T10:00:00.001-05:00

This week I've had some stellar conversations. I've said or screamed the following (no exaggerations...):

Sippy cups are the devil!!!

If I get one more sippy cup leak in my purse, I swear...!

I've spent more money on sippy cups and shoes for my kid than diapers!

Why can't you just offer to HELP rather than making me ask you to HELP!

My Christmas tree is ugly! It's all your fault!

No, Grover can not go to school with you today.

And Pablo can not eat dinner with us.

Put the shoes back on baby! Her feet are cold and they are going to get lost!

No, I think baby has had enough of her bottle so I can stop feeding her now.

Please don't write on my floors with pen!!

Your balls do not belong on the table.

Yes, byebye peepee.

Poop? You pooped! Why didn't you tell me before you started to squeeze?

You pooped again?! That makes 4 times today - Jared you're up and I don't care that you're making dinner.

Is that yours? Then stop touching!

No, it's MINE!

We don't eat peas off the floor, please throw them in the trash.

Smudge is not a stuffed animal so please stop trying to pick her up.

I am not BITCHY! Leave me alone!

It's all YOUR fault!

Yes I want orange soda and I know I've said I don't like soda a million times but I don't care, I want some orange soda!

That blankie does not belong on your head.

Stop running into the wall with blankie on your head!

We don't throw ornaments.

No touching the ornaments!

Yes that is Santa but don't touch!

Yes, pretty. The tree is pretty. Pretty ugly! But it's all daddy's fault.

Can you say thank you? No?! Don't you say no to me! No saying NO!!! I mean it! NOOOO!!!!

Balls

2011-12-08T12:24:00.001-05:00

Lyla looks under my couch. She lays down and stretches out her arm and grunts. She looks over at me and says, "Help please". I get down and pull out her two balls that rolled under there.

She walks around the house with the balls and starts to roll them back and forth all over the place. She stands up and shows them to me.

Jessie says: Whatcha got there? Can you count them, how many?
Jared yells from the other room: Got two balls!
Lyla says: One, two.

Lyla goes to the other room with her balls.

Jared says: Nice balls (giggles)

Men.

CD Case Calendars for Sale!

2011-12-07T15:50:00.001-05:00

I've made my annual CD Case calendar and they are for sale on Etsy. My readers get 15% off!

Use TRD2011 for the discount! Check out my shop and get your calendar in time for Christmas. Might I add it makes a great gift!!

A few teaser photos...

Count Your Blessings Wednesdays

2011-12-07T12:18:00.001-05:00

Today I'm grateful for McDonald's. Seriously they have good coffee and it's cheap! No more wasting $4 at Starbucks for a latte. It's Mickey Ds for me!

In Case You Wanted My Opinion...?

2011-12-06T13:11:00.001-05:00

Heard on the news today that NASA confirmed a new planet that could sustain life. Then read this article.

My first reaction: LOL! Those "aliens" are probably sophisticated people who have been watching us for light years and making fun of how far behind we are in science. The call us the aliens and would prefer to stay 600 light years away.

My second reaction: Hmm, when are they going to offer rides between here and this new planet? Earth is getting pretty dirty, it's full of bad people, wars, and destructive human behavior. It's only a matter of time before we need to go there and ruin another planet. Maybe I can get there first so I can see it before that happens.

Way to go, NASA - it quite amazing how we can find these things. Let's hope mankind does not destroy this new planet!

Working Mom Mondays - I'm Convinced My Family Hates Me

2011-12-05T07:55:00.001-05:00

Last night I was so tired. The fact is I have pink eye (again) and am way overworked (typical). My eye was throbbing and I could barely keep it open. I went to bed same time as Jared - disaster. If we go to sleep at the same time, I don't sleep.

Jared is a lawn mower; full blown, motor running, lawn mower at night. He snores so loud he loses is breath. It's getting pretty bad that I am trying to get him to the doctor.

Anyways, we went to sleep last night together and it began. Jared is snoring. I am so tired but I can't sleep. I can't keep my eyes open but I can't sleep. It's so loud. I start smacking him. He gets angry and yells for me to get my headphones.

I run down stairs and get my music and head phones and come back up. With the music on full blast and my fingers dancing to the beat, I slowly calm down. He wakes up and tells me to turn it down. At this point, I am not sleeping and it's after midnight. I lay there and feel bad for myself. I'm so tired.

I guess I do fall asleep at some point only to be wide awake at 2am. Lyla is screaming. Awesome. I go in there and she's fine, just screaming. I try to calm her down but as soon as I leave she cries again. I go back in and give her some water and as she keep screaming I fall back into bed.

"My family hates me," I whisper. Over and over again, "My family hates me." Jared wakes up and is wondering what I'm talking about. I tell him that if my family didn't hate me, I'd be able to get some sleep.

Midnight cuddles

2011-12-04T22:09:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a pretty rough day. But it ended on a good note.

Last night I had one of my most wonderful nights as a mom. I have to share so I'll never forget.

I really wanted to watch a corny Christmas movie last night so we did. Jared was snoring after 10 minutes and eventually just went up to bed. When it finished around 10, I figured why not watch another! I was beat but enjoying the solitude and sappy movies. The movie was almost over when I heard Lyla tossing and turning. She must have been having a night mare and started to cry. She got quiet again but then woke again a few minutes later.

I got up and went to check on her and she was wide awake. I tried my best to get her back to sleep without picking her up (as that is the golden rule) but she seemed totally unwilling to go back to sleep. Finally, I thought screw it. I picked her up and we hugged. She giggled with delight and I told her shh, daddy was sleeping. She thought that was funny and put her finger over her mouth to do shhh to me while saying dadda. I brought her downstairs, sat on the couch, covered us with the blanket and we finished watching my movie together.

When it was done, it was past midnight but Lyla was so comfy and cuddled right into me I couldn't bear letting her go. So I brought up Netflix. Lyla looked at the movie thumbnails and yelled, "Barney!". She had seen the Barney's Christmas movie. She was grinning ear to ear so I put it on. What the heck. We sat there cuddling, watching Barney at midnight while she was smiling out of control. She was so happy to be with me and watching Barney. She was glowing. There was no fidgeting, no sass, just warm snuggles.

I kept kissing her head and willing her to not grow up too fast. I watched as she pointed to the TV at the things she knew; Santa! Barney! Tree! Ball! Baby! I stroked her hair, I whispered how much I loved her, and I held on to her tightly. It was just what I had needed to bring me some peace.

It's not something we've ever done before, nor will it be something we make a habit of doing, but last night that short stint of it just us and no one else in the world was priceless.

I only let her watch about 15 minutes of Barney before I brought her back up to bed. Laying her back down almost brought tears to my eyes. One year ago, she was a baby and now she is a little girl. She is growing up right in front of me and it's amazing; truly amazing.

It doesn't matter if she screams all day for me, is sassy and has an attitude, or if she is just being a brat, she is my little girl and I love her more than words can describe. Last night was a gem of an opportunity and I'm so glad I broke the rules just that once.

Yet Another Christmas Tree Story

2011-12-04T21:28:00.001-05:00

I swear, I'm never going to have a normal Christmas tree shopping experience. Ever.

Here I was so excited. But I think I got myself too excited that I set myself up for disappointment. So here is what happened (and believe me, I am not exaggerating in the least, I wish I were).

Shopping was just okay yesterday. Lyla decided to be kind of bratty so that sucked. By the time we got in the car to go home and get Jared to make the tree shopping trip, it was pretty much nap time. I had to get home and switch cars and install the car seat in the other car so I begged Lyla the whole way home to not fall asleep. Mind you I had told Jared that I should probably take the car we were taking to the tree farm in the morning so if Lyla fell asleep we would be fine to just switch cars and all would be well. He didn't care about my over-extensive planning and wouldn't let me take the car as it was not "ready". Whatever the hell that means.

Lyla was barely awake when we got home and I brought her in to have a sandwich (since she had rejected the lunch at the mall I'd given her.) After I wiped the peanut butter from everywhere, we got in the car - me uber excited - and took off to Rhode Island.

Five minutes later, Lyla was screaming in the car. We put on some music for her and tried to soothe her to sleep to no avail. She never had problems sleeping in the car but decided today would be it. The more she screamed, the more tired she became, the less excited I got, and more tense the trip became. About 30 minutes later she was fast asleep and 20 minutes later, we were there. But the husband decided to go to the wrong parking lot, get out, and ask a question. Lyla immediately woke up and upon realizing she wasn't getting out of the car, the screaming commenced again. I felt like the worst mother ever.

We pulled into the tree lot, The Farmer's Daughter in Rhode Island and I got excited again. This was the tree farm we meant to go to last year (sigh). I bundled Lyla up, Jared grabbed his camera and we tried to make our way. Lyla began to cry again. She was so tired and so cranky she just cried and cried. We started walking, figured out the dealio, and Lyla became normal again. She was walking on her own and following me to the field that is until she tripped and fell and the crying commenced again. Lyla is such a girly girl that if she falls, she can't get up on her own cause that entail her to touch the ground and get dirty - oy vey...

Anyways we didn't go too far out and Jared found one he liked. Unable to find one better in that immediate location we settled on it. Some nice lady offered to take our photo; securing the one and only family photo of us in 6 months. The one and only photo I was dying to have for use of our Christmas card but there was none available. I can't even discuss my Christmas card debacle right now for fear of tears.

ANYWAYS, we got nice photo and Jared tried to take one of me and Lyla and she cried and screamed some more. At that point, I was like, Jared, cut down the God damn tree and let's get the hell out of here! I was tired, cranky, and so disappointed at how the day was going.

Our lovely photos...

We got our tree bailed and on the car and then the fighting started again getting Lyla into the car seat. We drove back over to the shop to pick out a wreath and I let Lyla loose to explore. She loved looking at all the trees they had decorated and was working on all her vocabulary. That is until she had a temper tantrum not getting her way and we had to take off sans wreath.

Again, the screaming started. The whole. Way. Home. The only thing that stopped the crying was singing Jingle Bells - which we did about 700 times.

Fast forward to today and I finally got to put the tree up. Jared brought it in and I was going to decorate with Lyla. I couldn't get the tree straight and Jared said it looked fine. So we left it. I started putting on the lights while we jammed to some Christmas music. As soon as I plugged it in, of course, half of them are dead. I know, I should have tested them, but I forgot a few strands. UGH! I was so pissed and Jared insisted on fixing it. I bet him that I could go to the store, buy new ones, and get back before he could fix it. But he got all flustered and couldn't fix them. So off I went to Wal-Mart to buy all new lights. $50 later, (wtf!), I had 7 strands of LED, energy star lights.

It took me forever to get all the lights off. I threw them off the tree, stomped around like a baby all frustrated at the entanglements while crying how this is SUPPOSED to be so much fun! Lyla and Jared were just watching me be a madwoman.

Finally I got the new lights on and we started to decorate. Lyla immediately broke one of my favorite ornaments as she dropped a toy on it. But whatever. She could care less about the tree and was just wandering around the house wondering what the heck was going on. I put her to bed and kept decorating; trying my hardest to enjoy it. When dinner was ready, I sat down and looked at the tree from afar. But instead of saying "beautiful" to myself, I was depressed. It was crooked, totally full of holes, and the 7 strands of lights was not enough. My tree sucked. I started crying over dinner (for a number of reasons, not only tree issues) and Jared thought me a freak.

So now I'm here blogging at 10pm at night when I'm supposed to be: A. finishing the tree, B. decorating the house. C. catching up with work, D. finishing a project and E. sleeping.

What a weekend. Next year we may just buy a fake...

Tomorrow and a tree!

2011-12-02T08:30:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you're only a day away!

That's right, I can't wait for tomorrow! I've zero time to blog, write, do anything lately. Between work, Christmas stuff, etc I can't even keep my head a float. But I have something to look forward to and that's tomorrow!

First off, in the morning my sister and mom are meeting us girls (me and Lyla) to shop! I LOVE shopping with my fashionista sister. I only will buy clothes for myself if she says it's okay. I trust her more than myself. So I may be able to get myself something. The best part is the mall has a new play area for kids that Lyla loves. Bribery has never been so easy! If we need a stroller break we have a place to run around.

Then for lunch, we're going to the new wings place (mom and Jodie don't know this yet but we are!) I love wings and I can't wait to have me some, yum!

And then we go home, pick up daddy and it's time! Time for us to get the ~~Griswold~~ Ford family Christmas tree! Now we've had a lot of ~~obnoxious~~ fun times getting our tree in the past. There always seems to be a story. Case and point:

2009

2007

Last year I didn't even have the heart to write about our debacle. About how we were so excited to go to a new farm to get our tree and when we got there it was SO ghetto. There were about 5 trees to chose from so I complained; cause I'm way good at that. We finally found one that was nice. It was kind of bare but had a lot of charm. We got it tied on the roof and then took a scenic drive and saw this gorgeous tree farm and farm stand with hot cider. Jared says, oh that's the tree farm I meant to go to. I forgot the name. Duh! We stopped for hot cider and had some major tree envy but kept our original pick but it was pretty funny.

That tree ended being the best tree we ever had actually. It didn't shed at all and stayed gorgeous the whole month.

But this year we will be going to the nice tree farm and I'm psyched! Tree shopping is the most fun thing to do at Christmas time. And I get ultra corny taking photos and having "family" moments. Jared thinks I'm queer. But whatever! I'm SO excited, can you tell? I hope that this year we have a smooth experience. And by the way, my tree is going to look better than all of yours, sorry about that in advance.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-11-30T10:18:00.001-05:00

Did you ever wonder why we have 7 days a week each 24 hours long? Why couldn't we have 6 days a week, 35 hours long? There is just not enough time.

Today I'm grateful that I can survive off of 4 hours of sleep because from now until retirement, those are my sleeping hours. There just is not enough time.

I need an assistant...

A Big Fat Fail

2011-11-29T10:10:00.001-05:00

It's November 29 and usually by this time I have:

Christmas cards done, addressed, stamped, and ready to be mailed (complete with newsletter).
CD Case calendar's printed, cut, and wrapped.
All my Christmas gifts bought, wrapped, and labeled.
Decorations brought out around the house.

I have NONE of these things done and I'm starting to panic. God grant me more time!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T20:07:00.001-05:00

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-11-23T11:55:00.001-05:00

Today and everyday I am thankful, grateful, blessed. That is all.

(more later!)

Computers and Kids

2011-11-22T09:22:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I took a day off from work. Lyla and I spent a day doing whatever we wanted together. We were sitting at my desk coloring hand print turkeys when I decided to take my computer mouse and put on some music.

Lyla, on my lap, got even more excited and grabbed my mouse. She moved it all around and was having fun. I took this opportunity to navigate to Fisherprice.com and show her some educational games. We found the right game and then I gave Lyla the mouse to have a go at it. She moved the mouse around and then lunged for the screen. I showed her the mouse and how to click on it to move the game. Screaming and more lunging.

Oh my God. Lyla is trying to touch my computer screen. She has had way too much practice with my iPhone and the iPad. Now she thinks all screens are touch screen. Wow. Just wow. Her generation will be so different than mine.

Pajama Friday!

2011-11-18T08:31:00.001-05:00

I'm so happy it's Friday. Although this morning my child (aka Lyla) did not wake up screaming at 5am (thanks for your prayers) and we got to sleep in a bit and it made it feel like a Saturday. Which sucks. Cause it's not. I woke up to her reading her book in her crib; what a blessing! Then when she was done reading, she yelled out to be picked up. I brought her in to bed with us around 7 and cuddled for a bit (yes we were lazy today).

And the laziness continues! I've deemed today to be pajama Friday. We'll both just be hanging out in our pajamas today. Me working in her room and Lyla dumping her puzzle pieces in her diaper bin. Oh wait, crap. Gotta go!

Have a super Friday and a great weekend!

Pooping child

2011-11-17T18:42:00.001-05:00

My kid screamed all day (see below) and then just did #2 in the tub. Awesome Thursday!

Screaming child

2011-11-17T08:42:00.001-05:00

My child woke up at 5am screaming and has not stopped since (with exception of any time I am holding her when she smiles and laughs). Please pray for me today. Losing. My. Mind.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-11-16T09:15:00.001-05:00

Today I am grateful for good music.

We (the hubs and I) met and fell in love because of music. Music has been a huge part of our life since the beginning. Concert going, up and coming artists supporting, live music anywhere, and traveling all over to see our favorites.

We haven't been able to attend a concert in a while. Money has been tight (concerts are expensive!) and having a child it makes it hard to get one in here and there. We went to a concert on Sunday night and it was like coming home for me. I felt alive again. Live music just does that to me. I close my eyes and listen to the music and feel like myself. Talented artists just do that to me.

Since Sunday I have had on my favorite tunes non stop so I can remember the feeling and relax. I just love music and I am so grateful for all the talented artists out there and all those involved with making good music for me.

Thank you!

Some things I'm currently playing the crap out of:

Paradise
Fix you - Straight No Chaser did this cover and it was AMAZING!
Someone like you
No speak Americano - obsessed...

Oh and of course Christmas music!

Great mix, eh? :)

SNC is Awesome!

2011-11-14T22:35:00.001-05:00

Saw them last night. LOVED it! Super cool!

This video is for you, Fred!

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-11-09T10:58:00.002-05:00

Today I am grateful for my mom. Today is her birthday! My mom is the most generous, kind, and caring person I know. I am so lucky to have her as a mom and Lyla is even luckier to have her as a gramma.

Happy Happy, Mom (like Lyla says!)

Jodie, Mom, & Me

Quality Street - A Perfect Marriage, the End of Diets, & the Beginning of Holiday Gorging

2011-11-07T12:54:00.002-05:00

It has begun.

Quality Street chocolates are now available at your local BJs. (or if you're desperate Amazon.com)

My British husband, of course, introduced me to Quality Street chocolates, made by Nestle. I took an immediate loving to them and they have become a basic staple around the holidays at our house and here's why:

A Perfect Marriage

Those sweet chocolates come in many different flavors. I myself go for the logs and the pennies (aka as the toffee/chocolate bar and toffee bite - see below). I LOVE them so much. They call my name (like now) and are beg me to eat them (I can hear them, I swear).

Jared loves the strawberry cream and the orange cream (gag me!). So we're never fighting for the ones we like best! It seriously creates the perfect marriage. And when the container is half empty with only the coconut ones and solid chocolate ones, we both will eat whatever just to have one last bite of the magnificent taste.

The End of Diets

The day Quality Street chocolates are brought home, it is the end of any dieting. Like I said, they haunt you and call to you all day long. My mouth is watering just knowing they are in the other room. Diet, screw you. We'll talk again on January 1 provided all these chocolates are gone.

The Beginning of Holiday Gorging

Most importantly, Quality Street signifies it's Christmas time. You can only see them in the store right before Christmas and you have to stock up because they go fast! The first year we saw them at BJs, Jared bought 2 jars and the next week they were all out! The following year we never went into BJs in time and got none! So I spent over $30 on Amazon to have them overnight us some - thank God! Last year, Jared spotted them shrink wrapped on a crate at the top of the aisle at BJs. Not even out yet! So, yes, he did go to the front and ask them to get him two containers down. Which they did and took forever! But we got them!

Once Quality Street is in the house, they don't last long. I will sit on the couch every night and gorge until I want to puke. I just can't stop. I wonder what they put in them...

Working Mom Mondays - Loving the new time zone

2011-11-07T08:19:00.003-05:00

Up at 6:00am without any fuss. Wide awake and ready for the day. Get in some exercise first thing then get little one. Am showered, dressed, exercised, fed as is the little one by 7:30am and I can start my day early.

Love this time zone switch over! It's bright in the morning and I'll wait to complain later in the evening when it's dark at 4pm. But for now, I love getting up and starting so early without being tired. We'll see how long it lasts!

Homemade wings and salad

2011-11-04T20:40:00.001-04:00

It's what's for dinner.

Remember any recipes you may want let me know and I'll post for ya!

Goldfever and BBQ wings; Jared's homemade sauces! yum!

Who can I ask?

2011-11-04T14:18:00.001-04:00

I have questions all the time. Sometimes my questions are what questions to ask. I'm holding the phone up wondering who to call. First instinct always is my mom. Regardless of the topic or situation, it's mom. Secondly if she is not around I think of dad. Sometimes it can bite me in the butt asking dad though - see, he thinks he knows everything. As does my husband so I tend not to ask him either.

But today as my mom didn't answer the phone and for a split second I almost dialed my grandma who is 90 years old and the loveliest woman I know but unfortunately is not a computer whiz; I found my answer. Google. Duh! Google has all the answers to my problems.

So thank you, Google.

UGHHHHHH.....

2011-11-02T15:52:00.000-04:00

[the following is the extreme dissatisfaction, dislike, utter hatred, and disrespect of a certain someone(s) deserve on my husbands behalf]

(SIGH)

(eyes rolling)

(flipping the bird)

(mother f(*&(*&O^(*(*&&^##$%^ers)

Okay phew, I feel a bit better now.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-11-02T09:12:00.003-04:00

Today is a great day! I'm so thankful to be alive. Okay, I'm really only super excited because it's November and I am a total Thanksgiving and Christmas freak. I LOVE this time of year. Thanksgiving is my most favorite holiday of all time. And Christmas is a close second. I am so excited to spend this time of year with my family and I'm looking forward to raising Lyla to be just as enthusiastic and grateful for this time as well.

I'm also thankful today for:

Christmas music! (you'll see me be thankful for this a lot because I LOVE it) I am absolutely infatuated with this new Christmas album by Meaghan Smith
I'm thankful for a day at my house all by myself today.
Eggnog.
Snow!
Getting my holiday projects in order; Christmas cards, calendars and hand made gifts.
Electric blankets.
Caffeine.
Writing.
My family and friends.
Memories.

Not So Productive Tuesday

2011-11-01T08:51:00.000-04:00

My office currently has no power. UGH! So that means my one day to socialize in the office, be ultra productive (without my child), and just be in an adult setting all day is not going to happen this week. So I am stuck at home hiding out in my bedroom with my laptop pretending I'm not home so my child won't have a temper tantrum to be with me.

Sitting on my over-sized chair in my bedroom is not the most idea office setting but at least I'm alone and it's quiet.

But I will share some exciting news with all of you. This past weekend I went out and bought myself a whole new work wardrobe! I know, killer, eh?! I went to Wal-Mart for something and on a whim, I decided to check out the women's section. And low and behold, I found myself three pairs of Hanes sweatpants and three long sleeved Hanes tees for only $5.97 each! Holy moly! And the pants were actually petite size too! Whoa!!! Yes, I work from home and don't see anyone. I definitely don't like wearing sweats all day but here is why...

My husband loves to be stingy with the heat at our house. It's set at on a thermostat so all day long it's a certain temp and then gets warmer at night when we're home. But wait a second, I work from home all day! So basically I freeze my ass off. But due to the price of heat and trying to save a few bucks I suffer. And Lyla is always warm like her daddy so it's just me that suffers. Hence I need layers and warm clothes. I have not bought "work" clothes in years so most of mine are all ripped or stretched out from when I was pregnant. So just having new sweats I am super excited! Lame, I know.

So all I have to do is layer, add my finger-less gloves, and my snuggie and I can work at home without freezing to death. Yay for new work clothes!

(Yes this is as pathetic as it sounds. My work clothes are sweats, my husband freezes me out of our house on a daily basis, and I am super excited over a Wal-Mart deal. Wow, just wow.)

Working Mom Mondays - Thump

2011-10-31T07:39:00.001-04:00

Thump then scream. I'm waiting for it. Every night Lyla goes to bed, I have the monitor on high alert as I wait for the thump and then scream. I have this feeling my child will be trying to climb out of her crib soon. And when that happens, I'm going to hear a big thump and then a scream; well unless she manages it fine and then I'll hear giggling and singing toys.

I'm absolutely dreading this. I don't want to put her in a bed. Ever. I want her safe and secure and little. I know it's only a matter of time until everything is changing but we will not rush that. However I will stay be alert every night for that thump in hopes that it takes a while to happen.

Turkey Chili and Cornbread

2011-10-29T22:11:00.001-04:00

It's what's for dinner.

If you would like any recipes from my husbands fabulous dinners, leave a comment!

Sweet and Sour Cod

2011-10-28T22:55:00.001-04:00

It's what for dinner!

Want the recipe? Post a comment and I'll add it.

Today and TV

2011-10-28T09:45:00.001-04:00

I have a feeling that today is going to be a "watching sesame street all day" day. Lyla is just cranky and I just don't care.

All those "experts" lately have been talking about TV and toddlers and how bad it is for them - even if it's educational. They are saying it has to do with communication. Kids who watch too much TV are interacting less with their parents therefore it hurts their verbal skills.

BULSH! Lyla watches about an hour and a half of TV a day. We have a routine that works. I have to work so the TV is my babysitter sometimes. But every other minute of the day I'm talking to Lyla, I'm teaching her as much as I can. She will not have issues with communication because we watch TV in my house.

So if we are having a bad day - like today - when I have a boatload of work to do and Lyla is super, extra clingy, she's going to have to watch more TV than usual. And I'm okay with that. And I don't care what other's think.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-10-26T09:24:00.001-04:00

Today I am grateful for many things, to name a few:

I am grateful my husband is still alive after almost being road kill by a NYC cab this past weekend.
I am grateful that I can listen to Christmas music now without being ridiculed. So what, I start early! Get over it!
I am thankful that my brother had a birthday which was a great excuse to buy me and him tickets to see Straight No Chaser and I hope they play this song for me!
I am thankful my child is at school today. A day all by myself is just want I need today.
I am thankful for that tub of ice cream in the freezer that I just had to have last night. Now I feel completely and ridiculously fat enough to cut out all junk and start my diet over again.
I am thankful for all the farmers in this country that make sacrifices every day so I can have milk, meat, fruit, veggies, etc.
I am thankful for fall, my favorite time of year.
I am grateful for fresh air out in the country and I could never be a city girl.
I am thankful for Christmas music - oh wait I already said that...
I am grateful for new Christmas music :)

A "Dear Lyla" letter

2011-10-25T11:14:00.001-04:00

Dear Lyla,

It is October 2011 and you are almost a year and an half old. Therefore there is no doubt in my mind that some day you will not remember this; hence I am writing to you.

Your daddy and I went to New York City with you overnight. We had fun walking around, seeing the sights, and eating good food. On the way home we stopped for dinner at Wild Rice which was very good. You managed to get half of your noodle dish all over your white sweatshirt, ate a ton of shrimp (your favorite food lately), and drank all of my jasmine tea. But when you were done with your dinner and I wanted to eat mine, you had a melt down. I can't blame you. You were tired, had a long few days, and just wanted to run around free.

The nice Chinese waitress came over and you went to see her and she played with you. She even gave you a fortune cookie. She had to go back to work so you sat back down with me with a longing for still hanging out with the nice lady. You kept waving at her, yelling for her, and putting your arms up for her to take you. I was trying hard to not be offended but I was.

When it came time for us to leave, you again held your arms out to the lady so I obliged for you to give her a hug. But in the middle of the crowded restaurant, you did not want to let go of her. You clung on to that lady as if she carried you for nine months, was in labor with you for two days, has fed, clothed, and taken care of you for 18 months, and just genuinely loved you for so long. You screamed when I tried to take you back. Your daddy said bye-bye and tried to leave you with her but me, no, I tried to pry you out of her arms while deep inside your actions were cutting me like a knife. Oh the pain of my child preferring the Chinese waitress over me!

There you were screaming to stay with her and the lady was not sure what to do. She decided to walk out with us while holding you. Once on the side walk I again tried to pry you away but you refused over and over again. Without tearing up, which was hard mind you, I finally just grabbed you and pulled with all my might to get you away from her. You see, you are my child, and I don't care how good that Chinese food was, how many cookies she gave you, or how much you like the show Ni Hao, Kai Lan. YOU are MY kid and you are coming home with me, always.

So then we went to a candy store where I showered you with baby gummy bears and chocolates so that you would remember that it was I who introduced you to chocolate and sour patch kids, remember that? I gave you junk food when daddy wasn't looking. I always order you the best meals at Chinese restaurants. You need me, kid. Not some waitress you've never met before who gives you one cookie and you swoon over her like she has your same DNA.

So there you have it. Just remember this story and how I was always there for you, even when you preferred someone else.

You're lucky I love you...

Love,

Mommy

Botanical Gardens NYC 2011

2011-10-24T20:30:00.001-04:00

Some of my amateur photos - Jared took some too but I will probably never see them.. Sigh...

Gorgeous mums! Lyla had fun smelling the flowers.

Working Mom Mondays - Grateful

2011-10-24T10:40:00.002-04:00

Today I am reminded at how lucky I am. Jared had something planned in the city today he needed to do. So we decided to come in to New York City yesterday and spend the whole day and night here. Got a massive deal on hotels.com for a room in Times Square for only $120!!! Wowsa! So we couldn't pass it up.

We got up early and went to the Irish section of Yonkers so Jared could have an English breakfast (which he devoured). We went to the New York Botanical Gardens and saw the pumpkin carvings and the Japanese flower exhibition (LOVE NYBG!). Photos to come soon.

We then walked around the Chelsea Market area and finally had a nice meal. Then we checked into our room.

Now it's Monday and I just opened up my laptop and I'm working from the city. That is the best part of telecommuting. As long as I have my laptop, I can work anywhere.

So Jared and Lyla are strolling around the city spending the $10 Lyla got from her gramma and great gramma and I'm getting my work done. No need for a vacation day!

Gotta love sometimes being a work-at-home mom!

Normal?

2011-10-20T14:08:00.000-04:00

Our lunch time conversation today in the kitchen.

Jared says: Don't eat a big lunch as I have a nice dinner planned for us tonight and a movie.
Jessie says: Ugh, but I have to do some work tonight. Save the dinner for tomorrow.
Jared says: Nope, we're having it tonight. I can taste the yorkshire pudding and gravy now.
Jessie says: No, Jared, no roast dinners! They are so unhealthy and too much food for a work night.
Jared says: Not a big deal, I have a few cornish hens in the fridge so it won't be too much.
Jessie says: Cornish hens? Who has cornish hens laying around their fridge?
Jared says: You don't like cornish hens?
Jessie says: You're just weird. You talk about "cornish hens" like it's some leftover chicken lying around.
Jared says: Cornish hens are delish. Have you had quail? I will try to get that next time.
Jessie says: (rolls eyes) You're just weird.
Jared says: It's going to be a great dinner! I can't wait!
Jessie says: Cornish hens...

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-10-19T09:28:00.002-04:00

Today I am working from home; all by myself. I have the whole house to myself. It's very quiet. Did I mention I'm all alone? This does NOT happen often.

Today I am grateful for having the whole house to myself. I better be super productive today!

Working Mom Mondays - Business Trips

2011-10-17T09:49:00.002-04:00

I just got back from yet another business trip. Another one that I did bring my child on. See, I can't bear to leave my child, ever.

The thought of flying by myself in perfect peace and harmony, getting a limo to the hotel by myself, staying in a gorgeous suite with champagne and strawberries all to myself, wandering around the resort - just me and no stroller, getting lots of work done without whining or having to play, going to a fancy restaurant by myself and ordering a grand meal slowly without rushing, having an entire evening just to myself, then waking up whenever I want after a good night's sleep and going for a work out, and then finally having a spa treatment all to myself - sounds grand right?

But it's not as grand as being with my child, forgoing all the peace, quiet, and perks. It's more grand to see her smiling face every minute of every day.

So my child goes with my on my business trips and I sure am lucky.

Count Your Blessings Wednesdays

2011-10-12T08:58:00.001-04:00

Today I'm grateful that I'm only still a little sick.

I'm grateful I get to go on another trip with Lyla and my mom this time, to scope out a new hotel for my next event.

I'm thankful for my job yet refuse it let it define who I am as a person.

I'm grateful I can work anywhere (working at Starbucks now).

I'm thankful I live in the most beautiful place in the world for this time of year. Fall is just gorgeous with gorgeous weather and I love it.

Working Mom Mondays

2011-10-10T08:16:00.000-04:00

Well, today was supposed to start off a bit differently for me. I had these grand plans of being up early and getting some work done before Lyla wakes up, doing the treadmill, and being showered all before 7am.

However because I'm sick (again...), I had to drug myself with Nyquil last night. So therefore I have a Nyquil hangover. I can barely keep my eyes open at 8am and that is after a shower and coffee (I don't even drink coffee).

So needless to say my week has started off crap. And that is a bad thing. See, this week I start my new job at work. Yeah, didn't I tell you? I got a promotion at work. Unbelievable. The girl who sits here on her blog and bitches almost every day about how she doesn't want to work, has no desire for a career, and just wants to be a mom. Yup, me. I'm the one who is moving up and being successful. I'm the one "bringing home the bacon" for my family. And that husband of mine, the one who has been trying to find a new job for ages, who all he wants to do is move up in his career and be more successful, the one who works harder than anyone I know and is more talented than anyone I know; he's still stuck at his job, same salary for the past 5 years, and is not going anywhere there. I'm living his dream.

Today, I will sit here and work my butt off trying to figure out my way in this new role. I will feel uber guilty for not being there for Lyla all day, I will earn good money, all the while my poor husband does his thing; the same ol' thing he's been doing for ages why he prays he will get an email for a phone call for an interview. Life is just a tad bit unfair or is it?

Tis the life of a working mom...

Not Afraid Anymore

2011-10-08T17:46:00.002-04:00

I took Lyla to see a farm this summer and she sat in her stroller curiously looking around. She liked the ponies the best and watched them frolic around. But when it came to the big horses, she was terrified. She started screaming and crying trying to get away from there. Of course I obliged not wanting to scare her. I tried a few times to show her they were nice horses but she didn't believe me.

Today there was an open house at McCullough Farm and we missed the last one. So I really wanted to take Lyla. On our way home from gramma's house we stopped by to see what it was all about.

There was a large barn full of horses. Lyla, naturally, was very frightened. I was holding her but didn't have to because she was clinging to me like plastic wrap. We went up to a stall to say hi to the horse and she shook her head no. At every stall it was the same thing. Cling, freeze up, and shake head no.

Eventually we watched two little girls go in the stall and feed the horse. Lyla watched and started saying horse and eat. She was pointing to them but still clinging to me.

We then went over to see the baby horses and she got more brave starting to put her hand out. Then an amazing thing happened. She stopped clinging and shaking her head. She smiled and pet the horse.

And just like that she is no longer afraid.

Loving being a mom

2011-10-07T09:41:00.001-04:00

This week...

I spent about an hour organizing Lyla's hair accessories. She probably has enough hair pieces to let every child in Connecticut wear at least one at the same time.

I let Lyla take a walk "by herself" where she proceeded to walk up the hill of our street, into my neighbor's driveway, up their path, and knocked on their door.

I taught her how to "moo" and she grasped the concept. Now everything "moos". I taught her how to cover her mouth she when coughs. She learned to not tip the spoon upside down when she eats - but she's still working on it. She says thank you after everything now; well her version of thank you.

I've cleaned her room probably a zillion times, changed many diapers, I've washed dirty hands, I've cleaned many a times a crumbs littered floor, and I'm a pro at spilled milk.

Lyla has learned to drink from a cup by herself.

She can even point to Paris and Italy on her world map.

I call that a productive week of motherhood.

I love being a mom.

Cake

2011-10-06T20:04:00.001-04:00

I bought this cake for myself today. Then I added "Faith" to it. I got this to remind me to have faith in myself.

It tasted pretty good too...

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-10-05T08:54:00.003-04:00

Today I am thankful I have a job, I own a home, I have a healthy family, and I am in a better place than a lot of other people in this world. I am grateful, no more complaining, I am grateful.

My meeting

2011-10-04T21:31:00.001-04:00

I sit down for my meeting. It's 4pm. I'm thinking this should be quick so I won't be too late. Usually office days I don't book anything past 4pm so I can be home for dinner with my girl.

Meeting starts and it's not what I thought it was. I sit, listen, contribute; and an hour later I start to get concerned. The doodling begins on my pad. I start giving myself pep talks: don't stop listening, pay attention, don't think about Lyla eating dinner without you, don't worry about what time you'll be leaving, don't start a pity party about working too much, focus, listen, take notes.

I didn't bring in my phone nor do I have a watch. I glance at my coworker's watch. 5:20. 5:34. My bladder is about to burst. 5:35. 5:40. Finally I excuse myself and bolt out of the room. I grab my cell phone off my desk and head to the bathroom as I frantically call Jared. What? No service? What the hell! I pee and try again. This time no answer. I text him saying I'm still in a meeting. I get back to the room and sit down. The conversation gets deep and there are still things we've not talked about. I sit there. I nod. I text Jared again. Still in meeting. Still. Still. No response. I text again. I want to do bed and bath. Basically I am begging Jared not to put Lyla to sleep before I get home. No response. I text again. Are you getting these? Finally he answers. It's 6pm. I've been working since 7:30. I'm exhausted and just miss my girl.

Finally the wrap up starts. I sit forward and get anxious. 6:10. I'm freaking out just a little. 6:13. I can finally leave the office! I gather my notes and walk out the door calmly. It takes all my control and then some to not run down the hall. I casually pace down to my aisle of desks and when I turn the corner where no one can see me, I break out the sprint.

Computer open full of things on is closed shut. I stuff it into my bag along with my lunch bag, water, umbrella and everything else. I have a big box to bring home today so I stuff that up, close the lid and try to leave. My keys? They are in the bottom of my bag. I put everything down, find them, and then proceed out to the door. I casually saunter out and say good bye to a few colleagues on my way. As soon as the door closes behind me I walk as fast as I can with a heavy box and my bag. I bypass the stairs, my usual mode of departure because I don't trust myself with the box and bag.

Once outside I ring Jared. On my way! I get to the car and step on it to the highway. Once I'm on the highway, I blast the tunes and I cry.

Why am I crying? I have a successful job, I make a good living, and I'm miserable being away from my child working so much.

It's 7:10. I get in the door with my arms full. I drop everything and run to my babe sitting on the couch with her daddy sucking her thumb and watching the cooking channel. The house smells amazing of fresh dinner awaiting my return home and the living room is piled high with clean laundry.

I hug my girl until I can't get her to sit still any longer. I kiss my husband grateful for how much he contributes. I am home.

Working Mom Mondays - Some Stories

2011-10-03T09:01:00.001-04:00

I haven't written this feature in a bit because my life was not my own for the last weeks. But whatever, I'm slowly catching up.

While my life was passing by at lightening speed for my work event, my daughter was blossoming into a child. She is not a baby anymore by any means. I want to share some stories of things that happened in the past few weeks because I'm so proud of her and just love her to death.

We were sitting in the airport awaiting boarding. Lyla just wanted to run around unattended in the airport so we sat in a circle around her and used our luggage to block her in. She had her own play space without being too confined. She got bored trying to escape and stood against a chair starting to dance. She broke out in song and danced to her music. I have never seen her sing before and she did it on her own accord. It was too darn cute. So now I can tell her to "sing a song" and she sings and dances for me. My eyes water each time she does this. I am so proud of her.

My little book nerd is still all about reading. In Florida, we were sitting on a chair and her uncle had words on the back of his shirt. She stood up against his back and pointed at the letters reading like he were a book. It was adorable. She also grabs her books, walks over to me and says "Please". That is her asking me to read to her and I can never say no.

This past weekend we had a busy few days catching up at home and doing some errands. We found ourselves at the aquarium because Jared had to fix something. We wandered around and saw some fish, sea lions, penguins, and a beluga whale. The whole time she walked on her own holding my hand. She's learning that she just can't run around on her own and that she needs to hold my hand. When Lyla and I were standing up against the glass wall watching the beluga, he came right over to us, got down to Lyla's level and looked at her straight in the face. Then he opened his mouth and started shaking it in a freaky way. Lyla started to cry thinking the thing was going to eat her. I tried to explain he couldn't get her but rationalizing with a one year old never works. Needless to say I had to carry her the rest of the time at the aquarium. That whale was scary for a minute there!

Lyla is all about helping these days. She always helps with the dishwasher, she helps me make the bed, and put laundry away. She tries so hard and I try so hard to be patient with her. She does a good job and in the end I know she is learning so much just by doing. I love watching her get excited over the dishwasher and can't wait for her to realize how not so fun it is!

My big girl is all about being independent. She loves to do things on her own. Now she is trying to climb the stairs while holding on to the railing that is way too high for her. But she still figures it out. No more crawling up the stairs for her. She also eats all on her own with her fork and knife. She is not making a big mess anymore (thank God!) and she can even drink from the cup all by herself (no straw or lid!). I'm just amazed at how grown up she is and how well she does on her own. I just love her.

Overall the past few weeks have been amazing to watch her grown and learn. I am so proud of her and know she's doing well.

Almost back!

2011-09-29T20:20:00.003-04:00

I'm in Hollywood, Florida for my last day at my huge event. Things went exceptionally well despite a few setbacks at the beginning. We had a blast seeing old friends, working our butts off, and eating good food. After 7 days, we'll be heading back tomorrow morning to home.

I can't wait to catch up on my blogs and posts soon!

Check out a photo of me and Lyla at my event here.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-09-21T21:04:00.001-04:00

Today I'm grateful good friends that care, family who believe in me, and my little munchkin I couldn't live without!

About to Lose It

2011-09-19T21:47:00.001-04:00

Okay well I actually did just lose it. What you may ask? Well my sanity for one thing (or all that is left of it), I lost it emotionally and just sobbed all over my laptop to Jared, and although I let it all out, I'm still not feeling great.

What happens if you are living someone else's dream? What do you do? I am living someone else's dream. I am doing what someone else wants to do; not me. My dream, well it's unreachable currently so in the mean time I have to keep doing what I'm doing. Living, working, breathing, getting by. I should be over the moon, grateful, thrilled to the max - like any other person would be. But me, no I'm not. I'm nervous, I'm anxious, and I'm worried. I don't think I can do it. I think I may fail. I think this is not what I want.

You only have one life, so live it the way you want? But it's not that easy.

My throat has been throbbing for 3 weeks now. I swear I have strep throat. I've been eating Halls like candy. The wrapper says: A pep talk in every drop. With the words: Be unstoppable, Power through, Push on, Inspire envy. I want to take this wrapper, shred it into a million pieces, then burn it, and spit on it, then throw it in the toilet and flush. Power through? Easier said than done.

When will it be my time? When can I look in the mirror and be happy with what I'm doing? Life sucks sometimes. But beggars can't be choosers, right? I am lucky, grateful for what I'm doing with myself but I don't have to be in love with it.

Ugh, just thinking these thoughts out load makes me feel a bit better but it will be a while before my dreams can come true.

Time for Us - My article

2011-09-19T08:07:00.001-04:00

My second article has been published in The Day's Grace, Magazine for Women. I still get giddy thinking about my writing being enjoyed by people. I hope you do as well!

Read my article here.

Letting Go, My Little Book Nerd

2011-09-16T09:32:00.001-04:00

I sit here admiring Lyla's new book shelf. It was a long time coming as I have been stacking up all her wonderful books in piles all over her room and in baskets. I finally bought the adorable bookshelf I've been wanting for her room. I took time and got it and then built it in one morning all by myself. Lyla watched in wonder as the pieces of wood became a 9 square bookshelf. We filled it up together with me placing all the delicate ones at the top and all her daily reads at the bottom. Little did I know how much Lyla would love this and how little it would matter how the books were arranged.

Every morning the first thing she does in her room is go to the book shelf and look at the books. Then ignoring all the little hard board books at the bottom, she digs in right at the top with all the expensive, nice collector books. I cringe watching her pull them down, bring them over to the floor and flip the pages. I worry when I see the covers come off of them and little feet tip toe over them. Oh no, not that one, I think in my head. But for Lyla she is discovering all these new books that are different than her baby board books. The pages flip nicely, the images are beautiful, and the stories unlike any others. One by one, she takes them all down. Again I start to get annoyed at the mess slowly developing on her floor. I immediately want to get up off of my chair, stop working, and clean it up now. But what would be the point as Lyla only likes her books and they will be back on the floor in no time.

So I just sit here and watch her. Book after book after book goes on the floor. Some get more time than others, some get read over and over again her Lyla language, while others just get dropped with a loud "Uh oh" coming from her cute, little voice. No matter how many times I tell Lyla you can't say "uh oh" when you purposely do something, she loves that word and it applies to everything.

I realize that my child is a gem. She is one of a kind, unique. She loves to read which is something I have installed since she has been in my womb. These are her books and she can do what she likes. I will let go of my fear of a mess, at the thought of ruined books, and just let her explore. At the end of the day, we'll learn how to clean up and consequences if she is too rough. But for now, I will just let go and let my little book nerd be.

My munchkin reading:

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-09-14T09:34:00.001-04:00

Today I am grateful despite everything going on in my life.

I'm grateful I have my health, even though it's in pretty crappy shape right now.
I'm thankful for my daughter and my husband.
I'm thankful that I have patience when it is needed the most.
I'm grateful I have a very forgiving and flexible job.
I'm grateful for Sesame Street; life saver every single day.
I'm thankful for the fact that in 2 weeks my life will be back to normal.
I'm grateful for caffeine.
I'm thankful for doctors and medicine.
I'm thankful for sunshine.
I'm thankful for hugs from Lyla.

Working Mom Mondays - My Parenting Style

2011-09-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

I'm hands on, for everything. I don't want to read a manual, instructions, or watch a tutorial. I want to have at it on my own. I like to dig in to something and figure it out. I've noticed lately that I'm pushing that skill on to Lyla. Not sure if it's a good or bad thing.

Lyla is with me 24/7 pretty much so whatever I do, she does with me. I mean everything. I am going up the stairs, so is she. I am watering the flowers, so is she. I am emptying the dishwasher, so is she. But I don't just have her watch, I make her take part. Everyday items are learning opportunities for her. I like to make sure that whatever I am doing, I'm telling her what it is and how to do it. I like to think she is paying attention and learning, and sometimes she really is. But honestly I think this has taught me a lot more than her.

I'm constantly running around like a crazy woman trying to get all my crap done in a short amount of time. Sometimes I just need to run down the stairs with a laundry basket to run a load as quickly as I can. But there is Lyla at the top of the stairs and no matter how busy I am, I make time to teach her to go down the stairs; bump, bump, on your rump. Watching her improve on this because I don't rush her is so rewarding and on top of everything else it's teaching me a great deal of patience.

Every single chore now has Lyla as a part of it. It also makes me enjoy my chores more. Emptying the dishwasher Lyla loves. She gets a kick out of handing me things and after every item, I tell her 'thank you'. She's learning not only to help do things but manners as well.

I also push her to figure things out on her own. She gets frustrated so easily and instead of helping her figure something, I encourage her to keep trying and do it on her own. Sometimes it works, other times it backfires. But in the end, I know or think I'm teaching her to be a good person who tries hard and is independent.

I hope I'm doing good by Lyla. I hope she learns and grows. I hope she succeeds with all she wants to do. I just love her.

[PS this blog post was written while Jared was watching this army documentary and I was extremely sidetracked. So if this doesn't make sense, my apologies!]

This is Just Ridiculous

2011-09-12T07:34:00.002-04:00

In fact, it's too ridiculous for words... so bear with me while I complain for a few minutes...

I'm leaving next week for a big work trip, a very big trip in which I'm not exactly ready for yet. This week and next are my busiest weeks ever. But I'm currently dealing with the following:

I'm SICK! Again. I have had a sore throat for a week.
I am coughing up a lung every five seconds.
My voice is barely there.
My nose is stuffed to the brim.
I feel like ass and I just woke up this morning with...
Pinkeye! WTF!

Lyla started daycare last week for one day and I get bombed with every disgusting thing? She's got a runny nose and started coughing last night. Might I add she's coming with me to my work event.

I'm pretty contagious right now and hope my kid does not get this. OMG could this be any worse right now? I'm supposed to be in the office all week; yikes!

Okay, complaining complete.

Highlight of My Day!

2011-09-09T11:53:00.001-04:00

Last night I looked in our chest freezer and found a six pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs I had saved from Easter. SCORE!

I happily left one on the counter to defrost and this is my lunch today. I am SO freaking happy right now. Like OVER THE MOON to be having this special treat.

Thank you dear God for giving us Reese's. Amen.

To Pixie or not to Pixie

2011-09-08T07:39:00.000-04:00

I need a new hair cut. My look is just drab, really. I've been growing my bangs out all year and every day I just pin them back and put a pony tail in. I would love to cut my hair short, short, like pixie style but I don't think I could pull it off. I can picture it now: All the hair is cut, stylist says it looks great, I'm in shock and agree, then cry all the way home. I keep saying I'm going to grow my hair back out to it's long state but I just don't have the stamina anymore. Plus when it's long all I do is put it up anyways.

I seriously have the worst hair ever! It's super thin and wicked flat. I. Hate. It. I was thinking maybe to get a new styled bob or something. Ugh I can't decide! Thoughts?!

I read Lyndsay Johnson's blog and her pixie is the bomb! Rebecca over a the Daily Muse also posted a nice photo of a bob the other day that I salivated over.

I had Jared actually take my photo this morning and put a pixie do on my head. It was so bad I could not share it! So I guess it's a no for pixie. But I still need a new style! Thoughts anyone?

1st Day of School

2011-09-07T09:57:00.000-04:00

Lyla started school (and by school, I mean daycare but school makes it feel less guilty on my part...) today. The day started off pretty rough as Lyla was cranky and clingy this morning. I almost considered keeping her home but decided to suck it up. I got her dressed and tried for a photo opp to capture this moment. But she was less than cooperative for that:

She then realized the seriousness of the day and thought better of it. She promptly grabbed her book and began practicing her reading for the big day.

She said bye to her daddy and I put her in the car but it was like she knew what was going on. She wouldn't let me get her in the seat and was pretty much freaking out. It took all my patience and strength to not just grab her and bring her back inside to cuddle all day.

We got to school and I gathered her things. She was excited to see me and get out of the car seat. Once inside she was off in her room watching what all the other kids where doing while I filled up her cubby. After talking to the teachers for a few minutes, the inevitable was there. I had to leave. I bent down to Lyla and gave her a kiss and went right out the door without looking back. I stood at the door window for a minute to see if she'd cry or run for me but I couldn't see her or hear her - a good thing I imagine.

As soon as I got to the car I was a mess. In tears I called my mom about what a bad mother I was and she was laughing and helping me get over it. She made me realize that I don't have to do this every day and she is going to be fine. Just one day a week to play with some new friends and she's going to have a blast. I sobbed the entire way home wondering if she was okay and thinking about how I'd be okay.

First thought was that I needed a pick-me-up and what better way to make me feel better: hot fudge sundae. Everyone knows that a hot fudge sundae always makes you feel better. I started heading for the nearest DQ but up realizing it was only 9:30am, I had to have a plan B. I therefore decided to hit up a local bakery for the most fattening, greasy egg sandwich and a mocha latte. After I stuffed my face I did feel better. Now the aftereffects of that, not feeling too great.

Will I get over this? Yes I will be fine. Will Lyla be fine? Yes she's not even going to realize I'm not there. Will I check up on her? Yes, I'm dialing now...

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-09-07T09:41:00.003-04:00

I am so grateful that I can spend most days with my daughter and am not missing any of her life. So very grateful indeed.

Mommy Love

2011-09-02T21:41:00.003-04:00

So I've been meaning to get this off my chest...

2011-09-01T19:39:00.001-04:00

...who are the F*(*&*&^%%ing Kardashians and WHO gives an effing shit?

If I see one more news splash, magazine cover, news highlights, etc, I'm going to puke.

The saddest part of this is that there are people out that that care so much about this random family (of which I have no idea) that they buy the shit, watch the news/tv and encourage for more. WHO CARES! Get off the internet or away from the TV and live YOUR life and stop caring about supposed celebrities. I promise you'll be a lot happy and lot less chubby.

There, I feel better now.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-08-31T11:05:00.002-04:00

Today I'm grateful for running water and electricity - neither of which I have at the moment. But I"m grateful that eventually it will come back; eventually...

Storm Update

2011-08-29T07:33:00.000-04:00

For all 3 of you that read my blog, we are okay!

No power day 2 is going well so far. I do not stink so bad just yet but I'm sure by tonight I'll be bathing in my pool. Jared has rigged up our generator to power our fridge/freezer and has luckily provided me with a cell phone and laptop charging outlet as well as wifi. So it's not so bad over here. Let's just hope it comes back on soon!

We were lucky not to sustain any flooding and there is minimal damage around. A few trees down the road blocking is in (no big deal) and lots of mess around our yard (also no big deal). We have survived and I am hoping not to get too behind at work. I'm also hoping I can shower soon!

Earthquakes, Flooding, and Hurricanes, Oh My!

2011-08-27T22:04:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday we had an earthquake. No lie!

I've never felt an earthquake in my life and honestly I almost pissed my pants during the 20 second shake. I had no idea what was going on but followed my coworkers out the door...

I was pissed mostly because I live in CT so I don't have to worry about earthquakes, hurricanes, etc.

Imagine my surprise when Hurricane Irene has decided to visit the CT shoreline. I mean an earthquake, sheesh, but then a hurricane in the same week?! WTF mother nature? Again, I live in CT so this is not normal.

Last year a "hurricane" was expected and the hubby freaked out, bought a generator, and packed up the entire yard. That one turned out to be a minor tropical storm. So I have my doubts about this one as well. But I don't have to worry because the hubs is ready to go!

He spent the entire day packing up everything in our yard nicely into the garage. He bought the necessary items and got the generator ready. I was tasked with getting cash (you know, in case of no power or ATMs for weeks) and helping Jared with his list of things to do: fill up on water (since we have a well and no power means no water), help move grill, have all laundry and dirty dishes done, etc.

But in the mean time, I have checked off all the things on my list for hurricane readiness:

Took a shower and shaved. If Jared gets his way and is right, we'll have no power for weeks and I don't want to be dirty or hairy for so long. So clean and smooth, check! (for the time being at least)
Best underwear on, check! In case of an emergency, don't want to have on old, tattered or tye-dyed ones.
Wearing a nice jammy set, check! If I'm stuck on my roof waiting for a helicopter to rescue me from my flooded house, I will look nice for the nightly news broadcast. Granted my nice jammies also are tye-dyed...
My camera, cell phone, and laptop are fully charged in case it's my only escape to the outside world, check!
Got my important documents ready to grab in a rush, check! Birth certificate, marriage license, will, 20% off Babies R Us coupon, my BNL set list from that amazing concert way back when, and of course my official "you're excused from jury duty until 2014" letter. Phew, thankfully those all will be saved! Check!
I have a bag packed with: books for Lyla, Lyla's baby doll, diapers, wipes, some clothes for Lyla, her blanky, deodorant, clean underwear, and a few sets of earrings. Not sure which will go with my "damsel in distress look best", so... Check!
Full tank of gas, check! So if need power for my phone to send a few emails, and vote for my kid on the Parents.com cute kid contest daily!
Champagne chilled and ready to guzzle, check! Cause if I have a hurricane heading my way, may as well have some fun as well!

Anyways, I hope you're all doing well with your hurricane checklists and let's hope I'm right and it's nothing serious at all!

Time to open the cham-pag-ney.

All tubs filled up with water and all water bottles set!

Our garage is stuffed with our outdoor stuff...

So neat might I add...

Top 10 Things that have been Annoying me Lately

2011-08-25T15:30:00.000-04:00

I am very easily annoyed. So in order to complain all at once, here are the top ten annoyances in my life currently:

People who call me, leave a message and then email me to tell me they just left me a message (or vice versa). Like I am incapable to hear a voice mail? Drives me BONKERS!
If I call someone but don't leave a message, it makes me crazy when they call me back just cause they saw a missed call. I hear, "Hi, I saw you called me?". Well, if I really wanted to talk to you I'd have left a message so stop being a STALKER!
If I don't respond to your email in .02 seconds I get a follow up. "Just wanted to confirm you got my email." Um do you people NOT trust technology? It works, 99% of the time...
Suction cups that have appeared to be on my daughter's hands and legs. She is suctioned on to me at all times lately. I heard about this clingy stage but it's driving me crazy lately since I'm so busy at work. But I will admit the first few times she cried when I tried to leave I liked it. Made me feel so wanted.
The fact that I don't ever get snail mail! I only get bills and magazines. I want some real, good stuff people!
Rising costs of EVERYTHING! Man, I can't even go to Dunkin Donuts anymore. They want more than $6 for a coffee and a donut and milk for Lyla. Ridiculous!
My husband tells me to lighten up and stop acting so old. So on a Monday night I got trashed, ate about 15 s'mores and then tried to jump in our pool with all my clothes on. Did I mention it was a Monday night? And then he tells me I'm acting ridiculous. WTF! (by the way it was a lot of fun that night, not so much Tuesday morning...)
My life is 178% consumed by my job right now and I'm getting the evil eye every time I ask the hubby for just one hour to myself to do nothing ("well I'm busy doing this, you're the mom, I did all cleaning, etc). He's a great guy but such a PUNK sometimes!
I'm still doing this stupid dieting cause I don't want to be a lardass while I wait to have another baby. But honestly I feel like I should just be pregnant cause dieting sucks ass. And anyways, if I'm going to have another baby eventually, some day, why should I bother to lose weight now? UGH!
It's 3:30 and I'm dying for a cocktail...

Okay enough complaining and back to work...

Thanks for listening!

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-08-24T09:24:00.001-04:00

Today I'm grateful to be alive.

Actually I'm just grateful that I've passed a few huge deadlines for work. I won't dwell on the fact that I have a TON more looming but for now I may just take a breather today and take a lunch break!

So yeah, I'm grateful for making it this far!

PS this is my 700th post. I can't believe I've done so well on this blog. Looking back to my first post, I had hopes to be dedicated to this blog but wasn't sure how that would go. I'm just grateful I have this outlet to write. Thanks Blogger!

Tuesdays with Lyla

2011-08-23T21:35:00.000-04:00

I don't share enough photos of my munchkin on my writing blog so I'm going to try and post one every Tuesday for you. Cause I know you can't resist a photo of a cutie!

Paella anyone?

2011-08-23T21:33:00.000-04:00

I got to eat this! Jealous?

My husband is a rock star with food, let me tell ya!

Working Mom Mondays - School Days

2011-08-22T09:39:00.000-04:00

It's official. Lyla starts "school" in 2 weeks. And by school I mean day care. But I like to call it school because it makes me feel better as a mom. She is only going one day a week for the following reasons:

She needs to play with other kids more.
I want her to learn from other kids; especially improving her speech and golden rules like sharing, etc.
Working from home with her is hard and I don't want to feel guilty for not having time to teach her or play with her every day. I also don't want to feel guilty for not getting all my work done each day. This will also enable me to not work at night each day.

I feel super guilty just for having to take this step but in the long run I feel it's the best thing for Lyla. I've been so selfish by wanting to keep her with me every day all day regardless of how that toll is on her development and my work load. So for just one day a week I'll share my precious girl with a group of one year olds and a few trusting adults. I will let her just be a kid and follow along. I will allow her to play and learn like she can't at our home every day. I will miss her like crazy but I will know she is going to be just fine; that one day a week.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-08-17T08:29:00.000-04:00

Today I'm grateful for all things Lyla.

My little rugrat is getting so big so fast. It's amazing how much of a little girl she is; no longer my baby.

Today she has already caused mischef by finding a post-it note pad on my desk and thought it was a stellar idea to take all the papers off. Which I let her do. Cause it looked like fun.

She is just my world and I'm so grateful to have her.

Feeding herself pudding

Working Mom Mondays - So much of me in her

2011-08-15T08:34:00.000-04:00

I think having a child is truly an amazing gift. Just the whole process of pregnancy and knowing there is a baby growing inside of you and then the birth of this child that you created; it's sometimes hard to get your head around it. You come home not as 2 but as 3 people; including one of which you made, grew, and birthed. It's just amazing and sometimes indescribable.

However even more so amazing is watching this little person grow. You blink an eye and a personality is born. Your little baby that was only sleeping and eating now is running around your house, talking, and doing things for themselves. But more importantly, this little toddler reminds you of you.

Looking at photos of myself when I was younger, the resemblance of me and my daughter is uncanny. She looks like me, she acts like me, and even walks on her tippy toes like me. Where does this come from? Yes, I know she came from me, literally, but seeing her be like me is overwhelming. I just want to pick her up and squeeze her so she knows how much I love her. I want to protect her from all the mistakes I made and encourage her to be a good person.

And at the same time, I want her to embrace who she really is. So even if she does walk and run on her toes like I did all those years ago (earning the nickname twinkle toes), and even if she does eat just like I do (eat one whole thing on her plate first then move on to the next), and even if she looks just like me, I want her to be Lyla.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-08-10T07:13:00.000-04:00

Today I'm grateful because I'm feeling better. Finally! My nose is so raw from blowing, sneezing, and sniffing so it is grateful for the break.

Some other things I'm grateful for today:

Soft, fuzzy tissues.
Cell phones.
A flexible job.
Good friends.
Travelling.
New opportunities.
Sunny days.
Good food.
Fair season!
Watching Lyla learn every day.

What are you grateful for today? Don't forget it's really good for you to sit down every day and appreciate all that is good in your life. There is always perspective no matter what is happening.

Ruby Tuesday

2011-08-09T08:35:00.000-04:00

I would love nothing more than to sit here and type about how wonderful of a day it is. But the fact is, it sucks! I'm STILL sick and I'm pretty sure I have a fever too. My cat is STILL missing and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get arrested.

Yes, you've got that correct: arrested or at least fined or reprimanded. I have definitely put up missing cat flyers on every stop sign around. Isn't that destruction of public transportation or something? I didn't think of it until I was done of course. But I didn't cover any words, just posted at the bottom of the sign where people would see it in desperate hopes that my cat was indeed catnapped or found or at the very least rescued by someone local as opposed to being eaten alive by some wild animal. I have to think positive you know...

Did you see the riots going on in England right now? This is affecting Jared's home town! We are worried for his parents safety. Let's just hope they stay home!

By the way, I really hope to stop boring you all with my miseries about the missing cat and my lack of wellbeing soon.

Working Mom Mondays - Sniff

2011-08-08T12:34:00.000-04:00

So today I'm going to be lazy.

For the three of you who ready my blog...

My poor cat is still missing (sob!) and I'm still sick (sniff!). I have a sinus infection, ear infection, and have had a constant headache since Saturday. Life is awesome right now.

Hope your day is better than mine!

Nose and Toes

2011-08-05T21:39:00.000-04:00

My child managed to scratch my nose with her toe nail. See...

Hunger Pains

2011-08-05T09:22:00.000-04:00

I'm supposed to be working now but one brief glance at the news and the fact that cat is still missing (in case you wanted to know), my attention is all but gone.

29,000 kids under 5 dead in Somalia due to the famine. Holy crap! I know things like this are happening all the time but seeing something so bold like that breaks my heart. Ugh, I hate the news!

But really this makes me think. Every time Lyla eats, I'm throwing out uneaten food, food thrown on the floor, and just wasting. Our society is so wasteful while other people all over are starving. What if there was a way we could not be wasteful. What if there was a "No Wasting Police Force"? They come to your house on a weekly basis and examine how much food waste you have. You start getting fined for excessive waste. If someone was going to charge me every time I threw out a bad piece of fruit, I think I would try harder not to waste it; but it's not like I am trying to waste it. This is probably ridiculous but think about it. I would think twice when shopping about perishable items. I would try so hard not to let Lyla waste food; but let's face it I already do. There is only so much you can do with a 1 year old. I feel like I'm talking in circles here.

I looked up what I can do to help those in Somalia but they just want my money. I can't really run a can drive now, can I. Can I? I'm sure shipping a bunch of cans over to Somalia is easy peasy... But I don't like donating my money without knowing it's actually going to those in need. I'm very weary of charities.

So what to do, what to do? I don't feel just little ol me can make a difference in Somalia but I can do something about those in need locally. Right before I had Lyla I was donating my time to help at the local Care and Share food pantry. They stopped calling for help after the first time I was unable to help. One thing I noticed is that so many people would come in and make donations. With food prices the way they are these days I can understand how some families may be strapped for cash when it comes to food. People from our community help them by donating food.

That is what I will do. I will make a point to start donating more regularly to the food pantry to help our community. I may not be able to do anything for those poor people in Somalia, but I will make a better effort to help those in my own community. I hope you will as well.

In the meantime, prayers for Somalia are needed people.

Count Your Blessings Wednesday

2011-08-03T15:00:00.000-04:00

I'm supposed to be grateful today but instead I'm just miserable. My poor cat is still missing. There is seriously a huge, dark cloud over our house. Jared and I are both so gloomy and sad. One of us is constantly checking the door and calling out for him. Each night we've left food and his bed outside. Honestly every time we think about what if, we both get teary eyed.

I have never been a cat person so the fact that Sooty got me so in love with him hurts even more. We've done all we can do: flyers around the neighborhood, flyers in local businesses, posting on Craigslist, and called animal shelters/vets. Still nada.

I guess today I'm grateful for hope. I still have hope we will find him but the more days that go by, the harder it is. So I'm hopeful that our kitty will return. I'm grateful for that hope.

My Cat

2011-08-01T22:38:00.000-04:00

I can't sleep. And it's not because of this wicked head cold I have thanks to my darling daughter. And it's not because I have a stomach ache for eating everything in sight. It's because my cat is missing. My darling cat, Sooty took off Sunday morning like usual but has yet to come back. He never spends the night outside; he always comes in at the end of the day and here we have the 2nd night in a row where he's not on our bed.

I'm so worried about him I can't sleep and I'm eating non stop. God forbid anyone in my family gets hurt or goes missing, I'll be a whale in no time.

Granted he is just a cat but he's my baby or at least he was until we had an actual baby. He is the cuddliest and sweetest cat around. I miss him and he has to come home. Say your prayers for my Sooty to come home soon and for me to get some sleep!

Here is Sooty when we first adopted him and rescued him. He was a runt, sneezing, and totally scared.