The Powerball pot recently is outrageous. So many millions of dollars unfathomable to someone like me. I never play Powerball but like most Americans, when the pot gets in the high six figure millions, I decide, eh why not and get a few.
Last night as I got into bed with my husband, we talked about the Powerball jackpot of almost 400,000 million dollars. Wow, it hurts just to type that! So. Much. Money. As I’m sure many couples, friends, families do, you play the hypothetical of what you would do if you won.
I sat down next to him and asked him seriously, what would you do. Not joking around. I wanted to know. My husband, being the practical person he is, talked about a financial advisor, putting most of it away to earn interest and invest. He said he’d give some to our families but most importantly, he wanted to grow the fortune to benefit our children, their children, and so on. He said he’d want to live comfortably for the rest of his life, get a dream home, and focus on some of his passions knowing most of the money was in the bank to help future generations of our family. Sounds nice right?
He looked at me and I told him I’d give most of the money to charity. I said I wouldn’t want that kind of money; it’s too much. I’d prefer to give most of it away to those who would need it and then we could live comfortably with the rest. Set up a trust fund for our children and make sure they were taken care of. But having a bank account with that kind of money actually stresses me out. How could I go on living life with that kind of money knowing there were so many people struggling in this world, in my country, or even in my own family. I would hate it if I didn’t share with everyone and give it all away.
A bleeding heart he called me. Said I was ridiculous for wanting to give all the money away. Told me I could start my own charity - which yeah that sounds awesome. Told me we can give some to our families. Said we wouldn’t give it all away.
This was not an argument we were having but a conversation by two completely different people. We are married but so different. I think it’s actually better that way - we both have our own thoughts and ways and we even each other out.
As I looked at him and imagined holding a winning ticket in my hand with an enormous chunk of change coming our way, I realized right then, I don’t want it.
Winning that kind of money would, inevitably, destroy our family. We’d compromise and work out the plan together but I’d never let the guilt I feel over having so much more than others subside. And my husband would get stressed and I’d grow to resent our decisions because of the guilt.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no martyr or Mother Theresa but going from middle class, getting by to filthy rich mega millionaire is a huge difference. I’d never feel comfortable as a mega millionaire. I don’t do fancy cars or name brands. Every dollar I have is a fortune to me because of the way we worked hard raising our family.
Therefore I decided I’m not going to buy any more tickets. I don’t want to win the mega Powerball jackpot. I am happy with my family, our circumstances, and our life. I wouldn’t want that money to get in the way of that.
I don’t want the money. I don’t want the problems. I’m good. No more tickets for me.
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