BAD

My daughter never stops talking. Something I hear daily from my mother is "payback is a bitch". Because apparently I was the same way. I don't get annoyed by it for the most part. I cherish it because I know it about ten years from now when she's a moody teen, I may never hear her voice innocently but only in a sarcastic, annoyed tone.

Every day on the way to school it's a conversation. Most days I'm exhausted as all moms are and the topics she brings up just tire me out more. Today was no exception. Here is the conversation she decided to start today, out of the blue.

Lyla: Momma, what's jail?

Me: It's a place where bad people go.

Lyla: What is it like?

Me: It's a big building with little rooms with bars. People who got in trouble have to go there for a certain amount of time until they can get it. Think of it as a cage for people who broke the law.

Lyla: They stay there for ten years maybe?

Me: Well it depends on what they did. If they stole something they may have a few years to be in jail. If they killed someone probably longer. Or if they sold drugs...

Lyla: What are drugs?

Me: (dammit!!!!) Drugs are BAD! Know how I take my pills everyday? Those are good and they help me stay healthy. Drugs are pills that are BAD! DON'T EVER TAKE DRUGS! EVER!

Lyla: Are they just pills?

Me: No they can be pills or liquid? DRUGS ARE BAD! DON'T EVER DO DRUGS!

Lyla: So liquid is bad?

Me: (OMG! what have I just gotten myself into!) Any drug is bad; pills or liquid. Can't we talk about something else now?

Lyla: So people who do drugs go to jail?

Me: Yes!

Lyla: Why do they do drugs?

Me: Because they are DUMB and WEAK. DON'T EVER DO DRUGS! PROMISE ME!

Lyla: Okay momma. And people who kill people go to jail. What if, oh my God, what if someone has a gun and they kill people! They'll go to jail for like ten years?

Me: Or forever! Let's talk about something happy now, okay? And don't go to school today and talk about jail and drugs and bad things? Okay?

Lyla: Okay! (smiles)

I need more coffee with booze. Coffee with booze.