Tuesday, August 04, 2015

Don't Judge Me, I'm Judging Myself

Two things happened this past Sunday:

1. It was Kids Day at the Gathering of the Vibes Music festival.
2. Weezer was playing.

If you know me at all or even if you don't but have read a few things of mine, you'd know that music is a huge part of my life. Jared and I met and fell in love because of music. Concerts are one of my favorite things in the world. And Weezer, they are probably one of my all time favorite bands. Ever. Plus my kids love music, especially Weezer.

Obviously it was a no brainer to take my kids to the concert. They were free to go after all! Why not take the whole family! My friends and their family joined us. Fun day, right?!

I wanted to have fun. I wanted enjoy it but I had this heavy cloud over me the whole day. I was judging myself. Why? Why was I judging myself?

Here is why, after all, it may have not been my best idea ever to bring a five year old and an eight month old to a music festival:
  1. The weather in Connecticut was about 187 degrees. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating but only a little bit. It was hotter than a mofo. Seriously. Walking on the pavement with my shoes on burned the bottom of my feet. 
  2. It was hot as hell and there was barely any shade - at all. Thankfully we found a tiny spot we could sit in for a bit but the sun moved and we lost it. Granted the baby had his stroller covering him but the rest of us were not so lucky!
  3. Outdoor music festival = hippie convention = lots of smelly wind. I'm pretty sure we all got high on the pot smoke that was wafting around. I was stupid and didn't think about this before I went. Should have, but didn't. Oh and to the man who was sitting right next to me and my kids with my friend and her kids, who looked at us, and then light up and blew it right at us. Fuck you! Yeah I get it's an outdoor thing and yeah I get that maybe we shouldn't brought them but it was "kids day" and we were right there. You could have blown it the other way or walked away so I didn't have to get us all out of the shade to avoid contact. You A-Hole.
  4. Money, money, money, MONEY! Kids are FREE! But you and your spouse pay $60. And then it's $25 processing fee. And then it's $25 for parking. And then it's $10 for a sandwich and $4.50 for a small ice cream cone - the froyo kind you can get at DQ for $1! Then it's $8 for a beer. By the way, did I tell you my husband is unemployed currently? Yeah, he is. This one day out I thought was going to be about $130ish ending up costing us a fortune! Money we don't really have to spare...
  5. Whiney-pants kid! After about 7 hours (from our house to the show, waiting around, etc) Lyla was spent and hot. Of course right when Weezer came out [insert tantrum here].  She was tired, cranky, and just didn't give a shit. So when she had a tantrum because my friend took her friend up to the front and she didn't realize it until after and wanted to go to, yeah end of the world! Her whining and pouting was super embarrassing and I couldn't look at any of the young, free people wondering why the hell I wasn't taking her home! Weezer was finally playing for crying out loud!
I could go on whining about it, I really could. But then Weezer came on, finally. They were freaking awesome. And watching my daughter sing and dance (after the tantrum) was priceless.

I admit it. It wasn't the best parenting choice I made by bringing my kids. Yes, I totally judged the heck out of myself as did most people I saw probably. But today made it all worthwhile for me.

Lyla was at the eye doctor and she asked what cool stuff we've done this summer. Without skipping a beat, Lyla told her she want to a concert and got to see Weezer while she beamed from ear to ear. Parenting win right there. That's my girl.

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