Friday, February 07, 2014

Dear Amazon

Dear Amazon,

I love you. I seriously LOVE you. I can sit in the comfort of my own home and click away so that two days later, thanks to Prime, I have my items in my hand with no shipping fee. I mean seriously, for a full time working mom, sometimes going out to the store to find rainbow color food coloring for cupcakes can be a huge pain in the ass. Knowing I can pretty much find whatever I need on your website to purchase helps me sleep at night. I mean everything. From kids chopsticks to Lyla's dining chair to a Banana costume for Jared to a Shakin Bacon Alarm Clock to gigantic pregnancy pillows to our favorite British candies to Meet Me in St. Louis (and that's St. Louie to those not in the know...) on DVD. All of which I have purchased in the past few years.

I love that I can read reviews, leave my own reviews, and sort items a certain way. I love the app on my phone allowing me to order wherever I am. I literally ordered every single Christmas gift this year from my phone while sitting on the couch on vacation. I love that I can have a wish list for everyone I buy for and as I see things, I can add them to the list for when the occasion calls for it.

So it goes without saying, Amazon Prime is my favorite thing online and has been since I started using it in 2008. I love, love, love the convenience, availability, and speed. Shopping these days rocks.

Which brings me to the bad news. My finance guy (the husband) is starting to get mad. I spend a lot of money on Amazon. I buy gifts, things for Lyla, things I need, things for work, etc. Every time that Godly brown package comes to my door all dolled up with the Amazon Prime blue and black tape, I get: "Jessie! Now what are you ordering!"

I've tried having it delivered only when he's not home (but that's hard now that he works from home with me). I've tried warning him right after I click "buy" with my excuses as to why I need to buy it and to expect it. I've tried grabbing the box before he sees it and running to my room to hide it in my closet until recycling day (yes, I've actually done this.)

So as one of your biggest and most faithful fans, I beg of you to help me with my dilemma. Should I open a PO box that you'd promise to deliver to? Can you put it under a fake name so I can pretend we got someone else's package? Can you stop being so awesome that I spend all my money on your website? (just kidding don't ever stop being awesome).

For now, I have to cut myself off unless there is really a NEED for one of your items. I purchased my last book for Lyla now for a while (maybe Easter?). Think I can last that long? Wish me luck. I love you and will miss you. Now let's cross our fingers and hope something breaks so I can buy a new one!

Admiringly yours,

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