Thoughts

(I wrote this exactly three years ago today but for some reason never published it! No idea.. I'm odd..)

Lately I've had a lot of time to think.  During 2am feedings, afternoon naps, and long drives to and from my parents' house, I have allowed my mind to wander freely.  Sometimes I talk my thoughts out loud to Lyla and other times, I am mentally writing them down.  Some recent thoughts...

If I was not married (and with child for that matter), I think I would seriously consider driving to New Canaan, Connecticut, finding Paul Simon, and stalk him.  I would find all his favorite places and at the right time, I would "accidentally" bump into him.  I'd charm him and eventually I would wind up at his house where we'd become either A. BFF or B.  married.  I decided I would consider being a polygamist to marry him even though he is old enough to be my grandfather.  There is just something about that short guy and his amazing vocal and song writing talents.  I love Paul Simon.

I also have been thinking a lot about music.  There are only a few albums out there that from start to finish are amazing.  One album that is utterly the best ever and I'm still amazed by it so many years later, is Weezer's Blue Album.  Every song on that album is awesome.  I can listen to the Blue Album every day all day and never get bored.  I must say that Lyla loves it too!  A few other fantastic albums I love include:  BNL's Rock Spectacle,   Dave Matthew's Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King, and Rusted Root's When I Woke.

Honestly that's it.  I can't think of any other albums that are amazing from start to finish.

I also have been thinking about Lyla a lot.  What will she think of me when she really gets to know me?  Will she like me?  Will she like my crazy tendencies or will she be embarrassed by me?  Will she know how much she's truly loved? 

I really think that life is not what it should be.  I've been thinking about this in depth for the past few weeks.  How many times a day do we actually stop, think about what we're doing, and love it.  Each day, I feel, we're just getting ourselves ready for the next day and the next thing.  We're never enjoying the present. Think about it, really.  Every day I do laundry that I will have to put back away for future wearing.  Every day I'm doing dishes to use again.  Each day we clean up, make the bed, and get ready for the next day.  It sucks because that is what you have to do.  But I feel each day is a never ending cycle of getting things ready for the future.  Why do we spend almost all our day in the same ol' routine:  get up, get ready for work, work, get ready for work the next day, go to bed, etc.  I really do envy those retired, those independently wealthy, and people who don't follow routines.  I don't think I'll every wake up and love what I do every second of the day. Who loves chores!