The Mother Load of All Conference Calls (Pun Intended)

I'm re-publishing this blog post because it is still the hands down, best conference call fuckup ever. 

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Believe it or not, this happened to me. For real.

My parents came to town to hang out by the pool with Lyla, my two year old, while I worked.  They left right at nap time and right before I had a conference call with a US Government agency for work. My brother stayed as he's spending the night with us.

Lyla wasn't sleeping by the time my call happened, so I told Mike that he'd have to be on call to grab Lyla if she needed to be entertained during my call.  What happened next, I can't even make this up if I tried...

Since Lyla was still awake, I turned the monitor all the way down so I couldn't hear her.  I started my call.  A few minutes in, Lyla was still talking, but louder.  I asked the folks on the call to hold so I could tell Mike to go get her. I told him to have her go potty, she can pretty much do it herself.

I heard him go upstairs and grab her.  They go to the bathroom and all of a sudden, I heard, "Oh shit, holy cow, Lyla! Crap!" and really loud letting everyone on my call hear. I went into panic mode thinking she missed the toilet and peed all over - if only that was the case...

Mike barreled down the stairs and quietly knocked on the office door. I put my call on mute, luckily I wasn't talking for him to tell me, loudly, that Lyla had pooped everywhere and he stepped in it. Gulp.

As if on autopilot, I keep talking on the call answering questions but quickly realized I had to go up there and sort it out.  I politely told the customer I had to go for an emergency and they graciously let me hang up.

Upstairs, Lyla was on the toilet and her underwear were on the floor full of shit and Mike's foot prints were all over the bathroom and my white bath mat, oh and down my stairs, my house, etc. I was walking into a winter wonderland of toddler poo.

Of course, Lyla had been telling me she had to poop and that is why she wasn't going to sleep. Needless to say I cleaned everything up as fast as I could and emailed my contacts to dial back in and still didn't lose the sponsor.

I love working from home sometimes.. lol