There has been so much talk lately about "women having it all or not". Anne-Marie Slaughter wrote about how women still can't have it all. Then you have a peanut gallery discussion about that. Then a doctor chimed in about not having it all at the same time. And a man chimed in. These are just some of the articles I came across but I'm sure there are loads more. I wanted to write about this myself and then today I found this article by Penelope Trunk.
The web was all aflutter with the announcement of the new Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer, who also happens to be six months pregnant. Then it was all aflutter with the fact that she was only going to take a few weeks off for maternity - (gasp!).
For what it's worth I will shed my opinion. You can have it all or not; it is up to you. Everyone's idea of "all" is totally different. Having it all to a man in his forties could be: wife, 2.5 kids, successful career, house with white picket fence, etc. Having it all to a woman in her 20s: being a graduate of college, having your first job, partying every weekend. Having it all to a working mom could mean: having at least one day a week when you're not feeling guilty about something (does this exixt?!).
There is no "norm" to having it all. Therefore everyone's opinion is just that, your opinion - so stop bashing others for their choices. Everyone has the right to live their lives they way they want and they will decide what they need to do to "have their all".
Secondly, in regards to maternity leave and Marrissa Mayer. Do I agree, no! But is it my business, no! Let me ask you this... what is better? A mom like Mayer earning millions, having a baby that someone will inevitably take care of for her or a mom that gives birth having a drug or alcohol addition who's baby will ultimately also be raised by someone else. Both will have a short maternity leave, both will not see their children as much as the "normal" mom. Some of you people out there ragging on Mayer because she is taking a short leave are basically saying she's a terrible mom already. But it's none of anyone's business. EVERY day kids are taken away from their birth mothers for a myriad of reasons. Isn't a loving home enough for kids?
If Mayer sits there and says she's not going to love her child because she loves work more then there is a point. But her child will get the loving home he needs regardless if he sees his mom often or not. I'm not condoning what she is doing because I don't agree - you only get that precious time with your baby once and you should take advantage of it. But it's none of anyone's business what she does or doesn't do. It could be a hell of a lot worse and I'm sure that baby will have a good life.
People have opinions and want them to be heard, I get that. But maybe we should focus less on bashing other people's choices (especially celebrities) and focus more on our own life and choices. It doesn't matter if you're Mayer, Brad Pitt, the Pope or Obama - we are all just people entitled to live our lives the way we want to. Let them live, people!