Thursday, July 26, 2012

10 Top Worst Things About Air Traveling

10.  I want free wifi!  Stop making me pay $10 for sitting in an airport for 30 minutes for internet.  Some of us work...

9.  The fact that you have no control - over flight times, delays, lines, security, etc.

8.  When you have to wait at baggage claim for your bag and it is the last one off the belt.  Or when you pack light and there is no room left on the plane for your carry-on which you have to gate check and then wait for and it's of course the last one off the plane which most definitely only happens when you're running late for your connecting flight which is inevitably...(see #7)

7.  When you arrive at gate B and have 25 minutes to run to gate F to catch a connecting flight.

6.  Moving walkways that don't move.  Such a tease...

5.  Waiting.  And waiting.  And waiting and waiting and waiting.  Everywhere, every thing, any where, waiting.

4.  When you arrive or depart at an unGodly hour in the morning only to see most of the coffee and breakfast places closed at the airport.

3.  When stores, food places, and most importantly bars close when the airport is packed with delays.  I just want a beer people!

2.  Tiny bathrooms.  Seriously people.  Airports are busy and full of people - most of whom are carrying what?  Ding, ding, ding! Luggage!  So why on earth are the bathrooms SO tiny?

My experience when traveling trying to pee:
Open stall door.
Push in rolling suitcase so close to the toilet it's almost but luckily not touching (which sometimes is not possible).
Squeeze in with my laptop bag.
Try to close the door without A. bumping into my bag on the floor and B. not getting my laptop bag caught.
Close door and lock.
Move suitcase up against the stall door.
Hang up, hold or balance laptop bag on suitcase.
Squat and pee.
Move suitcase back towards toilet.
Squeeze door open as much as possible.
Get as much of myself and all bags out of stall.
Then flush.
Then while washing hands, furiously curse the morons who decided to put tiny-ass bathrooms in airports while simultaneously wiping the sweat off my face for the hard work it took to pee.

1.  Finally the number 1 worst thing about traveling - THE PEOPLE!  People everywhere, in a hurry, being rude and inconsiderate, and running you over.  People being impatient and complaining.  People who get up when a plane gets to the gate and run up the aisle cutting everyone off.  People who stop dead in the middle of a walkway and cause almost a collision.  People who take way too much advantage of the 1 carry one and 1 personal bag per person.  People who wear pajamas to fly - is it too much to get dressed?  People who bring smellly food to eat on the plane.  People who will run you over just to get on the plane - when aren't we all getting on the plane?  People running to get to their gate - 1st off, this isn't Home Alone and 2nd off, get here on time and that won't be a problem and 3rdly, if it was not your fault they should wait for you!  People who go through security still with water in their bag, change in their pockets, or shoes on their feet.  People who despite being told 100 times still don't turn off their electronic devices before take off.  People who hog all the outlets everywhere to charge their phones, laptops, iPads, etc.  People who spread out on 2-3 seats when the terminal is packed.  People who let their kids run around like it's a park.  People who put a leash on their kids!  People are just obnoxious when flying!  Overheard this today:

Lady:  Do you know what zone they are currently boarding?
Man:  6
(Lady starts to walk to board)
Me:  They are on 3.
Lady:  Oh he said 6.
Man:  I'm zone 6.
Lady:  I don't really care what zone you offense.
Me:  Trying hard not to laugh my ass off and be offended at the same time!

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