Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Count your blessings Wednesday


It's Wednesday.  I have to be grateful.  But today I'm just sad.  My eyes are droopy from crying.

I just had 2 weeks off - meaning 2 straight weeks with my little girl.  We had so much fun together and clung to one another the entire time.  Then the vacation ended.

Monday I dropped off my girl and it was the worst school drop off in history (until today that is).  She was screaming and crying for me not to leave her.  Clinging to me for dear life.  It broke my heart.  Pieces people.

I came home sobbing and called right away to make sure she was okay which she was.  

Today we didn't even get off the highway exit before she started screaming.  You'd think I was taking my child to meet her maker the way she was screaming bloody murder.  I sat in the car for ten minutes contemplating what to do.  Talking to her didn't work.  Cuddling didn't work.  Threatening didn't work.  So I tried bribery.  

"Lyla you can take your blankie and your Mickey Mouse doll into school (which I never allow) if you stop crying."

This calmed her down and she clung on to her things for dear life.  We got out of the car while I kept on.

"No crying today or I'll have to take Mickey and blankie home."

"You're such a big girl, you'll have so much fun!  No crying!"

Man, I'm so full of shit.  Why would my child have fun with anyone but me?  Why does she need to go to "school" in the first place?  Why do I have to work!?  Wahhhhhhh.....

I held myself together and brought her in to her new classroom (oh yeah, they switched her class and teachers the day before vacation started - fun).  She reluctantly held her arms out to the teacher.  Thankfully.

I left quickly and made my way to the car where I proceeded to sob-dial my husband.  I told him to quit his job.  I can't do this anymore. I cried and cried saying it was not fair.  The man had the audacity to try to rationalize the situation.  How very dare you!

So today when I'm supposed to be grateful but my eyes are too puffy, I'll say this one thing.

I'm so very grateful for my dear child whom I love with all my heart.  I'm grateful some day she will understand how much I love her and how difficult it was not to spend every waking moment with her.  I thank my lucky stars every day for Lyla, her health, and her life that I cherish so much.  She's the love of my life and the best thing I've ever done with my life.
And now for the laugh I need:

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