Missing You

I miss you.

My favorite part of the day is when I get to sit on the couch with you and your night time bottle.  I pop in a Baby Einstein DVD and your eyes light up when the caterpillar wiggles across the screen starting off the show. You just love the Baby Einstein shows so much. If I put on anything else before bed, you can't seem to relax.

For an entire half hour, you sit still on my lap completely limp and settled.  Your head fits in the crook of my arm and your feet crossed at the ankles like a true lady.  You slowly gulp down your after dinner snack savoring each sip as you learn about your nose and eyes, all the colors, or what animals live in the ocean.  You rub your eyes because you're tired from the long day of playing and crawling around.  You know it's almost time for you to be asleep.

When the movie is done, you sit up with anxiety knowing what's  next time come.  I am saddened that the day is almost over with you.  Yet another day has gone by, another day older you are, and another day you've been in my life.  It's truly bittersweet.

As soon as I walk in the bathroom your smile widens as you prepare yourself for your splish splash bath.  You splash and play and experiment with the bubbles with so much energy it's as if you weren't just yawning a mile five minutes ago.  As soon as the water isn't warm anymore we bundle up together and get you upstairs.  Diaper, lotion, undershirt, and your jim jams; brush your hair and then your teeth.  We read our favorite books; right now one of them is How Do I Love You and the other is Bedtime Kiss for Little Fish.  We read as you relax again all warm and cuddly.

After four or five books we cuddle and sing our St. Louis song as Judy Garland did oh so many years ago - yet my voice is not quite up to par with hers.  We stand up and do a few more lullabies but you're getting anxious so we have to cut them short.  You're done cuddling and reading.  You only want to be left alone now to go to sleep.  Thumb goes in the mouth and I plop you into your crib.  Blanket on, you roll over with your thumb and drift off as I whisper sweet "I love yous" and bedtime blessings. I put on your singing birds toy and slowly leave the dark room.  The next thing I know you're peacefully purring and sound asleep; or the monitor tells me so.  As soon as it's confirmed, I miss you.  I miss the day that we had, I miss my little baby who is now already a big girl.

Although my day is done and my night is free from worrying about you, I miss you.  Until tomorrow night when I'm sitting on the couch with you, my favorite part of the day, and the little caterpillar dances across the screen again, I miss you.