Monday, August 30, 2010


Back when I was younger, I was constantly regretting this or that.  I shouldn't have dated him, I shouldn't have gone there, I shouldn't have bought that, I shouldn't have wasted my time.  I thought it about over and over again.  In fact, I have been thinking about about it a lot lately.  Life is too short so I've been getting angry at myself for making mistakes that I am regretting now.  Then to make matters worse, I am worried that I'm doing something now that I may regret later.  This whole vicious cycle of regret and worry had to end and it made me realize something - hopefully not too late.

Every thing I have done in my life no matter how big or small had to be done to get me to my life today.  Because if I play the "what if" game, then my life would not be what it is. I'd not have Jared and Lyla in my life, I'd not be working where I am, and I'd probably not have experienced all that I have.  I had to make some mistakes along the way and I had to do somethings that maybe I'd regret. But in all honesty, I am fine with those now.  There are too many "what if" moments that keep playing in my mind and even though those "what if" moments still lead me to my current life, there is no guarantee.  There is guarantee that if I'd gone to a different college I still would have met Jared.  There is no guarantee that if I had not been ill, had been able to travel like I had planned, I would have still married Jared.  I won't even go into how without Jared there is no Lyla.  

So I guess I had a big "Aha!" moment this past weekend since I had some time to think.  I'm living my life with no regrets.  Regret is not even a word I know or use anymore.  Everything that has happened has for a reason.  I'm glad where I've ended up and am grateful.

1 comment:

Julie said...

Well said, Jessie. I wholeheartedly agree, with the one exception that I absolutely would go back and drop Accelerated English in high school. Gosh I hated that teacher!! :)

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