Wednesday, August 04, 2010

My letter to the Hot Man...

Dear hot man with the cut torso, amazing abs, and killer biceps who runs with no shirt on,

First of all, props to you for running in 90 degree weather.  I understand how important it is to you to get your exercise on and be healthy.  Fitness is important to me as well.  In fact, I'd love to exercise more often.  But recently I was almost in a car accident and am taking things a little slow.  See, yesterday I was driving down the road, minding my own business, and singing along to Abba.  But then all of a sudden, I see this sleek and sultry figure on the side of the road.  This person was gleaming with sweat, grinning, and sporting the hottest bod I'd ever seen.  And I could see all of it because this person was topless and wearing little more than boxer briefs as he ran down the road.  Yeah, this person was you.  

What happened next was beyond the shadow of a doubt craziness.  My lips automatically started to slow with the singing of Abba as if the entire song went into slow motion.  My foot came off of the accelerator and my car came to a standstill at the green light ahead.  My head slowly turned to watch you run by, again in slow motion as I focused on every bulging, glistening muscle jumping out of your body.  I could not take my eyes off of you because you were beautiful, a manly man, and more fit than a raging bull.  Yes, I am married and I love my husband but come on!  When you are running down the road looking so suave and covered with sweat, even celebrity wives would have to wipe their brows.  Needless to say I almost caused a car accident with me not looking at the road, slowing down, and staring at you wide mouthed and bright eyed.

So, Mr. hot, fit man, I'm asking you if not begging you to run in the comfort of your own home (jogging in place will do) or at least run outside when it's cooler so you can put a shirt on.  If you don't want to wipe out the female population in this town due to massive car accidents, then you'll do as I ask.  Or one last idea would be for you to let us all know when you're jogging and we'll just pull up a chair and watch.  Yum!  In any event, you know you're hot, you know you're fit, and so do I.  Can you come run by my house later?  

I think I'll be okay though. No permanent damage done so I can get to working out again soon.  Please keep my ideas handy for you and thanks for letting me stare at you briefly, as I promise not to stalk you.

The post partum, chubby momma with the gray car who definitely almost caused a car crash yesterday when I drove by you and definitely drooled a little...

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