Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Count Your Blessings Wednesdays

It's Wednesday already.  I feel like I'm always writing about this but for real, time is going by way to fast.  I try to wake up each day and focus on the present and make sure I'm enjoying life but sometimes it's hard when you are making plans for the future, talking about tomorrow, and are looking forward to something/dreading something.  Lyla is almost two months old, my maternity leave is almost up, and summer is officially here.  

Lately all I've been doing is thinking about how I have to go back to work in a few weeks.  July 12 to be exact.  Unfortunately we don't have all the money in the world and are not independently wealthy so I can't be a stay at home mom as much as I'd like to.  I loved my job back in the day and I think if things were still like that I'd be looking forward to going back just for some adult time.  But in all honesty, all I want to do is be here with Lyla and help her grow, learn, and love her to pieces.  Granted, I'm lucky that I'll be working from home a few days a week and Jared will be home opposite days to watch her so she'll be at home, but it won't be the same.  Right now, my days revolve around her and making time to be together.  Once work starts, I'll have to make time for work and getting things done.  I'm nervous for it and sad about it.  But I gotta do what I gotta do to survive.

So I guess today, I am incredibly grateful for the uninterrupted time I've had with Lyla.  I'm grateful for the afternoon snuggles, the morning kisses, the lazy mondays, the mid day walks, the shopping trips, the visits with great grandma and great grandpa, and just holding my baby all day letting her know how much she's loved.  I'm so grateful to have had this time with her.  She knows how much she's loved and some day when I explain to her why I had to work, she'll understand.

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