The other day I googled, "how to grow up". I was having an off day and felt alone, tired, and so not me. I felt shocked that this is my life. Married, having a baby, and getting older; but I didn't feel grown up. I thought maybe Google could share with me how to finally grow up and act and feel like an adult. Not so much.
There really is no science to it. There is no age that defines it. There is just me and my heart and soul. In my heart I feel young and full of life. My soul is the same soul no matter what age I become. But then why does my head feel like I don't want to grow up? I really don't know but I can't describe how it feels.
Age is just a number. You're only as old as you feel. But somewhere somehow I blinked and the decade of my twenties is almost done. I can't say it's been a rough decade for I've done many things:
- I spent a semester abroad in London meeting lifelong friends, traveling around Europe, and making experiences and memories I'll cherish forever.
- I graduated from college, something my parents never were able to do and they were incredibly proud.
- I had open-heart surgery that saved my life. In fact, I spent an entire year not sure if I'd live or die. That year being the most emotionally tense year imaginable also brought me love and support from those around me. Something I can never be thankful for enough.
- I met and fell in love with Jared. We had a beautiful wedding that sealed our vows to promise to stay together no matter how much we get on each other's nerves.
- We bought our first home. I've never felt more satisfaction than signing a piece of paper that gave me my home. I work hard for it every day but it works even harder for me. I love my home with all my heart and could stay here until I die.
- I had to say good bye to a few very special people. My friend Tricia passed away and my dear Uncle Wayne is also in heaven. I think of them every day and especially at 11:11.
- My god daughter beat leukemia. I watched her struggle along with her family and then come out on top. These situations teach us that you can climb that mountain even if you're having trouble walking. She is the bravest little girl I know.
- I watched my brother and then my sister turn 21 and then we all went to the bar together. That was crazy!
- I started a career that made me happy. Since then things have changed but I know now, thanks to my job, what my strengths and weaknesses are as well as how grateful I am to be able to do something well.
- I got to visit some awesome countries through work: Brazil, China
- I made so many friend all over the world.
- I've been able to experience the most wonderful thing a woman can; feeling a baby inside of me. I think becoming a mother will undoubtedly be the most rewarding and pleasurable experience for me in this decade.
I'm sure I'm leaving a few things out but these all just came to me at the top of my head. My twenties have been trying, painful, happy, exciting, and wonderful. As I tick on to my 29th year today, I can only hope next year when I start my thirties decade that it will be as wonderful as my twenties decade has been so far. Good bye 28, it's been real nice.