Saturday, February 14, 2009

Klutz-a-holic

I must be the biggest klutz on earth. Seriously. Today I must have banged every finger I have in some way, broke three nails, a toe nail, and knocked another finger in the car door (huge bruise by the way). I banged my hand on the bed while making it, stubbed my foot as I was cleaning the floor, and pulled a back muscle at Zumba! class.

Yesterday I knocked the bucket while I was mopping the floor into our recipes cabinet, chipping off part of the wood. That went over well with the hubby... Earlier today while bringing up a laundry basket I knocked it into our sliding glass door (praying I didn't break anything). The other day, I actually closed the car door with my head not out yet. I'm not joking. I manage to do this more often that I would like to admit and each time I'm clutching my poor head, rubbing my egg later on, and cursing myself for being either too fast or too slow. Almost every day, I find a new bruise or scratch and have no idea how I got it.

Every time I do anything in the kitchen, I spill or drip something somewhere. And whenever I'm putting something away or getting something out a tumble effect takes place. But good thing for my dandy reflexes so most of the time I can catch the falling objects.

Jared is constantly calling me a klutz or telling me I'm just being careless. But at this point I'm honestly not sure what my problem is. The thing is I'm so coordinated and really good at so many things but when it comes to the simplest things like putting glasses away, I can't do it without falling short and banging the glass on the shelf first or slipping on my slippers on the way to the glass cabinet, falling down and breaking the glasses. I've done this on more than one occasion as well. Boy, I can not believe I am admitting to that...

Sometimes I will remember my klutziness and take complete care of whatever I am doing but then I am paying so much attention I am trying too hard and I will chip the one plate I am putting away because I am trying too hard to put it at the exact right place without it hitting the other one too hard. Yes, I have done this. Then once I have done something like this, I will be so conscious of my klutziness and again try my best to not make mistakes and will then hand wash glasses so they don't break in the dishwasher because I've put them too close together (which happens once in a while...). However as I am hand washing I am so focused on making sure it gets cleaned, the sponge gets the best of me and I end up shattering the glass in my hand in the sink (which also has happened way too many times...). This is an exhausting cycle, let me tell you.

The worse part of all of this is my husband. Yes. He. Hates. Broken. Sets. I mean, despises them so much that he will throw out the entire set. Insert klutzy wife and freakish husband makes crazy pair. I chipped that one plate and the next day, Jared called Dansk and ordered one more to make our set whole again. Yes, he's a psycho. I broke a glass and he went mental on me. I mean mental. Only because his set was ruined. So he went out to Macy's and bought another entire box of the same set of glasses. That way as I break them, he can replace them and always have a full set in the kitchen. Some people call this OCD.

Jared loves Sambucca. It's his favorite after dinner drink but he must have it in a snifter. I can not even count how many snifters I have broken on all my hands and feet. We go through snifters like some people go through napkins. What can I say! I have two left hands! There are certain snifters in the house I'm not allowed to touch so we can keep the perfect set in tact. Fine by me!

When I visited parents in England for the first time, we got to talking one night at dinner. Guess what I discovered? Low and behold, Colin, Jared's dad, has this obsession about complete sets. He has made Christine, Jared's mum, get rid of a great thing of dishes because there was not enough matching bowls. She was furious! Me and Chris had such a laugh at the guys' weird behavior with their sets. To each's own, as my mom always says...

I guess I'll just go on being a klutz because I'm not sure there is a cure for it. But if any one finds one, let me know...
Happy Valentine's Day!!

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