My first jury duty day has come to an end and I am grateful to say that I do not have to be part of a trial. However I was not so sure that was how it was going to turn out.
I got there around 8:30 this morning, took my seat in the room full of strangers, and opened up my Jodi Piccoult paperback. At nine we got an introduction of what was to happen, we watched a video, and then took role call. A little while later, the first case was brought in to be presented. It was a civil case and they read out the names of every one involved to see if any of us knew anyone. They then read the names of those of us picked to be interviewed for this case. Low and behold, I was lottery picked for the last spot on this case. I thought, Score! Maybe I can get out of here early since I am on the first one. Yeah, not so much…
Then they presented a second case which I humbly ignored. The waiting game ensued for the next three hours. As I sadly looked up expectantly each time they called in for another person to go get interviewed, I was annoyed with myself for even thinking that I would get called and excused early. At one, they dismissed us for lunch and I drudgingly walked to my car and drove home to eat some grub, check my email, and then run back over there for my dreaded interview.
Finally when it seemed it was just me and a few others remaining I was called up. I made my way down the hall and was brought for the first time into a real court room. Now I have seen my fair share of movies and TV shows but actually being in a court room was very intimidating. I had to sit in the witness box while the two lawyers sat opposite me. I immediately began shaking and silently cursed myself for being so wussy.
The defense attorney came up and said he would be interviewing me to get to know me some more but I did not think that would be an actual interrogation of my entire life history. For the next thirty minutes…
Lawyer-man: What do you do at your job?
Wussy girl Jessie: I do events at a software company… (it takes about a year to explain what my company does so I began trying right then…)
Lawyer-man: What does your husband, Jared, do?
Wussy girl Jessie: He makes the videos for the Institute for Exploration at Mystic Aquarium
Lawyer-man: Do you have any siblings and what do they do?
Wussy girl Jessie: A younger sister in college and a younger brother who works.
Lawyer-man: What about your parents, where did you grow up, where did you go to school, what was your major, any more school, blood type, mother’s maiden name, fingerprints, date of first kiss, have you ever stole anything, are you a GOOD GIRL!?
Wussy girl Jessie: ahhh, uuhhh, mmm…GULP!
Okay so I am exaggerating slightly but I felt a tad bit like I was on trial for something really big and Tom Cruise was about to come out yelling, “You can’t handle the truth!” at any moment. So I began to twitch as I politely and correctly answered everything this dude asked with the perkiest and happy smile I could give. When the interview was not ending and the questions were becoming more involved, I was getting worried. This guy had a serious case of diarrhea of the mouth and as I watched his lips move I felt a huge wave of dread shift over me. These guys loved me. I was exactly what they wanted. They were going to freaking pick me for their case. Yes, me, the perky little perfect girl in the pearls; the one who is too honest and nice to bullshit her way out of being a juror. Yup, that is me!
I started to sweat trying my best to change my way a little too late. Maybe if I suddenly said I was against lawsuits or maybe if I said I hated insurance companies they would let me go home. But wussy girl Jessie was totally not the type.
Now during all this the other lawyer team was whispering. I was getting quite distracted but trying my best to pay attention to lawyer-dude talking to me. Finally one of them comes up and says he needs to interrupt and I hear them whisper something about “her husband”. I start to panic, big time. I think, is there something wrong with Jared! What the hell is going on? Tell me, dammit!!
So lawyer-dude says, sorry but it has just been brought to my attention that someone at the prosecution law firm knows your husband as they do business where your husband works so it will be a conflict of interest for you to sit on this case. As relief washes through my body, I put on my ‘disappointed’ face and ring out with a big “bummer!” One hop, skip, and jump later I am so out of there I am running before they can change their minds, calling Jared thanking him profusely as he confusingly congratulates me for getting out of it.
Lessons learned? Nice girls don’t get anywhere in a court of law during jury selection so next time I will need to leave the pearls at home.
I got there around 8:30 this morning, took my seat in the room full of strangers, and opened up my Jodi Piccoult paperback. At nine we got an introduction of what was to happen, we watched a video, and then took role call. A little while later, the first case was brought in to be presented. It was a civil case and they read out the names of every one involved to see if any of us knew anyone. They then read the names of those of us picked to be interviewed for this case. Low and behold, I was lottery picked for the last spot on this case. I thought, Score! Maybe I can get out of here early since I am on the first one. Yeah, not so much…
Then they presented a second case which I humbly ignored. The waiting game ensued for the next three hours. As I sadly looked up expectantly each time they called in for another person to go get interviewed, I was annoyed with myself for even thinking that I would get called and excused early. At one, they dismissed us for lunch and I drudgingly walked to my car and drove home to eat some grub, check my email, and then run back over there for my dreaded interview.
Finally when it seemed it was just me and a few others remaining I was called up. I made my way down the hall and was brought for the first time into a real court room. Now I have seen my fair share of movies and TV shows but actually being in a court room was very intimidating. I had to sit in the witness box while the two lawyers sat opposite me. I immediately began shaking and silently cursed myself for being so wussy.
The defense attorney came up and said he would be interviewing me to get to know me some more but I did not think that would be an actual interrogation of my entire life history. For the next thirty minutes…
Lawyer-man: What do you do at your job?
Wussy girl Jessie: I do events at a software company… (it takes about a year to explain what my company does so I began trying right then…)
Lawyer-man: What does your husband, Jared, do?
Wussy girl Jessie: He makes the videos for the Institute for Exploration at Mystic Aquarium
Lawyer-man: Do you have any siblings and what do they do?
Wussy girl Jessie: A younger sister in college and a younger brother who works.
Lawyer-man: What about your parents, where did you grow up, where did you go to school, what was your major, any more school, blood type, mother’s maiden name, fingerprints, date of first kiss, have you ever stole anything, are you a GOOD GIRL!?
Wussy girl Jessie: ahhh, uuhhh, mmm…GULP!
Okay so I am exaggerating slightly but I felt a tad bit like I was on trial for something really big and Tom Cruise was about to come out yelling, “You can’t handle the truth!” at any moment. So I began to twitch as I politely and correctly answered everything this dude asked with the perkiest and happy smile I could give. When the interview was not ending and the questions were becoming more involved, I was getting worried. This guy had a serious case of diarrhea of the mouth and as I watched his lips move I felt a huge wave of dread shift over me. These guys loved me. I was exactly what they wanted. They were going to freaking pick me for their case. Yes, me, the perky little perfect girl in the pearls; the one who is too honest and nice to bullshit her way out of being a juror. Yup, that is me!
I started to sweat trying my best to change my way a little too late. Maybe if I suddenly said I was against lawsuits or maybe if I said I hated insurance companies they would let me go home. But wussy girl Jessie was totally not the type.
Now during all this the other lawyer team was whispering. I was getting quite distracted but trying my best to pay attention to lawyer-dude talking to me. Finally one of them comes up and says he needs to interrupt and I hear them whisper something about “her husband”. I start to panic, big time. I think, is there something wrong with Jared! What the hell is going on? Tell me, dammit!!
So lawyer-dude says, sorry but it has just been brought to my attention that someone at the prosecution law firm knows your husband as they do business where your husband works so it will be a conflict of interest for you to sit on this case. As relief washes through my body, I put on my ‘disappointed’ face and ring out with a big “bummer!” One hop, skip, and jump later I am so out of there I am running before they can change their minds, calling Jared thanking him profusely as he confusingly congratulates me for getting out of it.
Lessons learned? Nice girls don’t get anywhere in a court of law during jury selection so next time I will need to leave the pearls at home.
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